Its been a while

Dear Readers,

Its been a while, i hope everything has been well for you.
right now, life is a smooth sailing boat as i am pleased with how things turn out to be.
really blessed with the ability to earn this much money at the age of 22. i wish that, i would be able to earn more and to enjoy more of this life has to offer. 22 is a big number and it won't stop so i really want to enjoy, experience and explore most of it before all my hair turn white, and wrinkles start to show. 

3 more days, and imma be at bangkok. i was at indonesia last month and a month later, I'm at bangkok ! no matter how success i would be, I'm still really broken heart inside that many things can be fixed with money. the lost childhood my brothers and i experienced, i really hope their relationship will recover. nothing is perfect, no matter how good something look, something is definitely broken somewhere..

Business in Brunei

Dear readers,


This would be my 405 blog post since 2010. never had i imagined that i could keep blogging till 2014 ! tho I'm not a recent blogger, but I'm glad that I'm able to blog again today.

The reason that i wanna blog today, is because I'm feeling 'awesome' - :D
ignore what i said earlier. So, if you had no idea what's happening in my life - here's a simple introduction of what happened.

someone had official became my life partner. other than that, i am the founder of a trending product in my country. it was a HIT when it first started but someone just had to be jealous and duplicate my works and do the exact same sh*t, to attract people of course they had to jack a lower price - some people recognized who started first and supported all the way. but that wasn't the point, let just finish off by saying more than 10,000 rolls sold as of today and no, i don't keep track but its all around Brunei. 

I'm pretty proud of the team i had to help me out, here i would like to show my appreciation as i would have never be able to get this far without their love and support. That's how business nowadays are, when other sellers see that many customer likes a certain product sold by a seller, they would find the source and get it themselves and jack the price lower. YES ! rezeki masing2 but it's not a healthy way because your just copying people's idea and more people selling it and causing some seller to unable to generate enough profit to raise their family so to say. 

Another new product is on their way, i spent a fortune on them and hope they sale. :D
but ya, long story short - i met hisyam (old classmate from CHMS) and we became business partners (not official) cause his currently helping me out and as if everything goes well, who knows 3 years later i might give him part of the shares from the company. other than hisyam, there's taufiq whose helping me out. So, i was hoping the new business ideas that I'm having would sale and generate more income !

If everything works well, im really thinking to re-orgazined a NPO to help unfortunate families. 


Oh, Life ~ that's all i can say for today !

thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
rui

thru thick and thin.

Opportunity is everywhere, There's no such things as potential people because those potential ones tends to leave early. This feeling is not new to me, i was disappointed not because of you, but because of myself for trusting you.


something is coming up by end of June. Tho I'm not sure how this would last, but I win giving up. this is life, and these are just test along the way to success !
Success doesn't come in a short way, it comes in a long way.

Those who gone thru the thick and thin with you are those who are worth keeping.
that's all i can say.

missing my old life

As much as i misses my old life, i still have to strive for reality.
When i look at the path of my life, i realized that .. i have been making decision on my own, being rebellious and only decides on what i believe is right.

do anyone believes in meant to be? to be honest, i am lost in this world again. lost in confusion of what is right and wrong, i no longer hold on to any grip as I'm just a person swaying with the flow. i don't know what is going to happen on the other world, but it would take me to the end of my life to actually see whats the truth. As for this moment, nothing make sense to me.. 

having much thoughts about would i be a successful entrepreneur ? 
my dad was unsuccessful and i wouldn't want to be like him. i want to have an ongoing success that i won't go bankrupt like my father.. 

but being in the business world, it's actually a cruel world. 
they don't give you space even your young, they fear so they do bad stuff. *smirks*

tired. 

as of today

As of today,

I wouldn't consider that my business is fully developed. we only started for a few months, and after we introduce this new product, more people started to follow our footstep, some have tried exactly what we did and trying to go higher than us. some even bring in higher quality, internationally recognized products and so much more.

its been a very challenging period because over 2 year of my business experience, never have i overcome such dramatic ones, not only having a fairly well known online seller trying to duplicate my works, and after sponsoring one of the social media and had an unsatisfying review, which i am utterly disappointed with his unprofessional action, because as a social media promoter that is not what a advertiser would do, because you leave your honest review upon things you weren't sponsored, otherwise reject that sponsorship deal.

and as of today, having a 40 year old lady stepping on my tail had cause me to be very uncomfortable upon her action because we both knew each other eventho we weren't close, but she should show some respect as i have for her. she should find someone her own age, and not a 21 year old lad.

overall, their behavior and action teaches me a lot, about people who are jealous and definitely people are INCAPABLE of thinking out of the box, so they either "DUPLICATE, BADMOUTH or DO BAD THINGS, just to bring you down. much childish can i say, because definitely I'm at least 10-20 years younger than them. to think about it, it should be quite embarrassing because they are trying to ruin a 21 year old business, i guess they have issue of their own.. Get a Life people ! :)

and leave me alone.

to create a better and greater society, we lift one another UP and not bring one another DOWN.
people like you guys are a bad example and influence to the society. hmmmm...

utterly disappointed.

the 12 days!

it was a mess because it was not well planned. i figured that everything would be just on the table when we arrived but it was not as how i imagined. when we first arrived, first day was like 'where should we go' we didnt even know where to look. it was that bad. 

i had food poison on the plane, so i was not feeling very well when we first arrive hongkong. it took me around 3 days to fully recover myself, thank God i wasnt too sick, as i am still able to travel. the cost of the hotel is killing me 😅 . food was quite hard to find as well, cause we could only eat halal food. so we had kfc and mcD for 4-5 days straight. 

we normally returned to the hotel during late night. we shopped alot, and its quite expensive here in hongkong. it was more cheaper in shenzhen but you need a good bargaining skill otherwise you will be marked up atleast 80% higher. we took the bullet train to Dongguan and Guangzhou to visit some factory shops. so its quite amusing as we were meeting big boss from the factory owner as if we were having a big company of our own, they even insisted to buy us lunch. 

back in hongkong, we live in a hostel. around 60+ per night for a family room. hardly imagined that area was conquered by indians 😅 around nathan road. mongkok is a good shopping area, do bargain as much as possible there. cause they know your a tourist so they sorta marked up higher price when you asked about the price.  

so much for a 12 days trip. much money was spent and now back home and start filling up my bank account till the next trip to bangkok and vietnam ☺️. 

truly yours,

diqtasmers

the story of my life.

have been blogging since 2010, it's nice to have place that records the story of my life, the thoughts i had, what i've been through and how i overcome them. the joy, the laughter, the pain all in one page. :)

wave wave* this is me (2014)

still living under my dad's house, tho its chinese new year but there's no happening at all. i don't feel like a chinese -.- haha. no extra comment. ><

21 years old, my life has been great. i've been unemployed for more than 2 years and a half now, i am glad that i am still surviving. I'm doing business with my partner aka my husband to be. <3 font="" nbsp="">

sometimes, i do think whyy i love the man i love. no special reason, sometimes the feelings are given by The Almighty, maybe this is destiny.. faith.. therefore, i feel really comfortable with him, and i love the way he fall in love with me again. i hope that he can always love me as much as he is now and increasing everyday - not decreasing :) i shall always be faithful towards him.

hearts xx thanks for loving me all over again, i feel like the happiest person on earth again. I'm happy to be with you.

love,

diqtasmers

as much as ..

31st Jan 2014.

As much as..

the thought behind today's topic is filled with many un-desribeable feelings, i was thinking about last September.. well to be exact it was 13th Sept, as much as i begged and hope that it didn't happen but it happened. as much as i wished and plead for a change, it didn't. so as much as i wanted that not to happen.. too bad i wasn't in control, so i spend few months in depression till i lost about 7kg due to lost of appetite and stress.

it was indeed an experience for me, but definitely not a good one and not one that i could be proud of. because i was about to lose myself, it was just that bad and i am indeed ashamed of my own behaviour. 

do you know what i am thinking and what do i have in mind? the thoughts of 'being with him, would i be happy?' it would be a challenge for me to figure out which of his words are true and sincere, because he could be saying that he loves me but inside he loves someone else. so if he do so, kindly applause because he would be one of the worst people ever to have lied and trick my feelings (the one who have been sincere and been walking thru the path of severe heartbreaks and pain) eventually still hanging on like a fool. 

yes, i am a second choice. why would i allow myself to be a second choice? no idea baby.. no idea, there feelings won't even evaluate themselves, how am i going to understand them. pffft* but yes, i am one of the strong iron woman whose heart seems to be made of steel, but deep down my heart was torn apart to the extend that it doesn't look like one. 

ya, wtf! other thoughts has bothered my mind and I'm lazy to think too much. pffft******

Suddenly

Suddenly, i feel that i might not be ready for all this. maybe I'm doubting whether is the life i want to have. to be trapped is what i am feeling honestly. i don't feel the freedom in most aspects of my life because there's always someone standing in front of the door with a "NO" sign hanging on their neck.

2 more weeks till Hong Kong. a vacation that i wished to be filled with a lot of fun and joy while doing business but i wonder how would it turn out. no expectation. hmm~ maybe i should drop expectation.

to be honest, i might not need a relationship. someone there that i really care and love had love another. unfaithfulness ;)
been more than 5 months actually, and God what am i hanging on for? for the sake of? hmm~ thoughts.

if this love won't turn out, i might want to 

25.1.14 Just a little piece of my life

Just a little piece of my life.

Dear readers,

nowadays, i tend to think to myself.
'why am i here',  'why do i feel this way', 'why do i allow this to happen to me', 'did i make the wrong decision to choose this path'


my happiness does not measure by the amount of money i am able to earn per day/per month/ annually. my happiness is measured by the people around me, the memories i create with them and the people who makes me happy. and the golden question is 'am i happy?' 

frankly speaking, i admit that i am a fool. no one told me that the love that i thought was once true could just be my own illusion. and no one told me that, it would be difficult to get out if i fall too deep. the point is, i had enough. :) 

im just too tired to fight for this anymore, nothing i wished to do. and if crap comes over, i'd just asked it to leave. leave my world ! dont come close and crush me.. i do not want to hold another moment of pain inside of my chest. 

so if crap comes by.. please, make your way out.

19th January 2014

Dear readers,

today everything has been well, it was quite frustrating when things are not well planned but overall i am glad that everything was managed to go well without a hitch. being thankful for the NQB's for their cooperation for being on time and the cake sponsor by kyz's lovely girlfriend (farahniss). Thanks to Syura chun for the food preparation and kaka bjera for buying the drinks. It was a wrap.

the boy whom i met 4 years ago, during 28th Nov 2009 and now eveything just change because i've gotten into a relationship with his 7th brother and got closer to his family to the point that his family are just like a family of my own. being thankful for that because i will never forget each moment spent, their love, care and sacrifice for me will always be remembered by me. 

a tiring day, a day that we bought macbook air. its so pricey -.- but oh well, its already in our hand.

truly yours,

diqtasmers

messed up relationship.

This life journey of mine feel so messed up and I wonder if I've chosen the wrong path, I would say I regret choosing this path because of my feelings towards a man. the dedication, the time, the sincerity, the sacrifice that I've give away felt like a waste cause it was not appreciated. Asking me to walk away of this shit, seems hard because I'm either too attached, don't want to get out of my comfort zone or I'm just not ready for the change.

I have no intention of trying to do anything anymore, just so tired of this shit and I should just let you do whatever you want.

remember this : YOU ARE WHERE GOD WANTS YOU TO BE AT THIS VERY MOMENT. EVERY EXPERIENCE IS PART OF HIS DIVINE PLAN  && don't think for a moment that any of it was random. there is no oversight with God. Only perfectly crafted chapters in each unique journey. - yasmin mogahed

Chasing the wind

looking at you, texting her just as if your chasing the wind. checking your lips to see whether are you smiling inside your heart. actually im okay and honestly I was just being jealous of the attention your giving her. then I asked myself ' why are you staring at him and waiting for that smile to pierce your own heart?' then I wonder why did I let myself in this situation. I felt like a fool and I want to run away from this situation.

your precious to me, you will always be precious to me. but if one day, I decided that I had more than enough.. I will shut my heart and force my leg to start walking, walking out of this, out of this situation, out of your life. because I had too much, I've gone thru the worst feeling of pain while I was with you. when you gave your heart to someone else, I was really in depression to the point that nothing seems right and I was crying for comfort. I was having sleepless nights, lying down in the bed with my eyes wide open while I was trying to battle with the pain inside of me till I get tired and fall asleep.

But do you know? I've wanted to leave you so so many times and I have so many valid reason to do so, I told myself to leave to leave to leave to leave you.. but I still end up staying beside you.. not because your special, not because your this and that.. maybe because I've truly loved you or maybe its something else.