29.03.2013 - a special day

today is a very special day.

because it's his birthday, his 23rd birthday. i guess i felt more excited that he is for his birthday, :) last year kyzkazuya helped me in decorating the candle lights during midnight - we made the candles into words that shows ' =) b'day dayat ' really thankful for kyz helping me out. :)

this year, i was more excited than last year - who knows why. :D i had this plan months before his birthday .. :D when i knew that he loves horses & wanted to ride on them. so this years birthday is going to be a 'double surprise ' as after his work later. probably get him to rest till the right time comes. :D i'd bring him to BEQ where they offers horse riding. its around jerudong - long drive later, but i'd cover his eyes with towel & earpiece in his ears to avoid him knowing where i am bringing him :D

the next surprise will be more challenging because it involves more people - his family. :)
we'd be celebrating at ideal gadong which kyz & i already reserved in advanced. it;d be like just us going for dinner & ending up as a surprise dinner celebration.

hope he enjoys it & didn't suspect anything.

i pray that everything will be going smoothly, no conflicts, and pray for journey mercy on road as i am driving quite a long distance. may it be a blast ! Amen.. :)

my superman :')

my heart doesn't feel content. 

not blaming the environment, but it's a fact that my environment is me.

how we were brought up, i wished we were more of a loving and a caring family rather

than a monster family filled with so many crazy things, i really hate 'them', they way they talked, shout, boss around, judge - i got fed up because they never changed and i've been eating up this shit for more than a decade now. 

went somewhere to takeaway food and just observing the brother and sister smiling & just being so gentle and patient with each other. i really envy them & deep inside me i was wishing that my family would be atleast 40% just like them, i'd be more than grateful.  :') i am already 20 years old & coming 21 by the end of the year. i'm turning into an adult. adult, again i always wished i was a child - a mindless child who didn't knew too much about this world. but time flies, time never wait for anybody. each and everyday we're growing up - my youngest brother is already 13 years old. his a teenager now, the age i always wished i can get back to.

dear dad, i wished that when those crazy people started to attack me. i really wished that your there to protect me but at the same time i knew you incapable of doing that cause i knew you'd get attacked instead even if your trying to protect me. maybe you were always there being my guardian angel, i just never knew nor realize. but i just hate to know that you got hurt, and i really hate them for being so inhuman. i pray that you'll find peace in life, i pray that you'll just simply relax your mind, let go of your worries and stress - simply just enjoy life. 

the stress level, problems, responsibility that falls unto your hand is actually way more than you can handle. but i salute you for always able to be so patient, so calm which are the values i'm trying to learn. always be happy dad, eventho i'm always being upset about how you didn't act as a shield for me when monster attacked me but i truly loved and care for you because no matter what, i know you'll never ever ever leave me & my brothers. So i pray that God will bless you to have a long, healthy & happy life ahead. :) Amen! :) 

#dedicated to my dad

truly yours,

ruiyee

March 2013

Dear readers,

i always mentioned 'time flies' , and it really does.

i just finished watching "Gossip Girl" season 6 & can you imagine that Blaire was only 20 when she started casting Gossip Girl and she's now 26 years old when she finished Season 6. 

Meeting my old classmate last week bring us back to our old school times. it's been 9 years since i knew her, we were like primary 6 back then. the last day of CNY, we had a small gathering at zun's place where aixing, mohin, xuan, machi didi, ahsen, ahroy, one of their TSB friend & chunfatt was there. it was fun cause they were hilarious. 

at this very moment, unlike others whose still in college & university. the life that i am living now is more like earning money and living life. i don't go to work, i do some little business instead to earn money. i am quite satisfy with the income so i intended to stay this way until better opportunity comes. but i guess having tons of money in my saving account doesn't make me feel happy, it does makes me feel more secure that i don't have to worry that i will be poor in the future. but i don't intend to have a very wealthy and luxurious life unless i hit the jackpot & become a millionaire out of a sudden. i would love to have an adventurous life, filled with fun with friends, travelling with love ones, spending time & taking care of cute children of my own (maybe 5 years from now) but yea, traveling or maybe the deeper side of myself actually desires to start a new life somewhere outside of Brunei. :)

maybe a year or two from now, i might want to stay in places like Australia, LA, newyork, London either one. :) Best my love one can join me. :) i just want something new, don't want to stuck here forever, i want something more interesting for my life. :)

well just a thought of sharing my future dreams. :)