What if tomorrow never comes

Suddenly this thought came into my mind, what if tomorrow never comes. What would you do? Remember when we were younger, well even older people does this, they would asked if you only have certain of days to live what would you do?

My answer used to be ' I'd travel as many places as I could' maybe I could rob the bank , or giving it back :)
But after all that I've learned and experienced. My answer now is ' appreciate the people whom came across my life ' :)

If tomorrow never comes, what would you do.

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Appreciation

the topic yesterday during pow wow lunch was "appreciation" which as i described appreciation about life. But what others really trying to share is appreciation about the people around them, their friends, close ones, families.


K urged that we really appreciate our parents as his parents just passed recently, J shared his realization when he was a Log, he shared deeply. went back to work, alignment with my team and i shared what we learn in Pow wow lunch about appreciation. D shared her care for her mother and how much she wishes that her mom would be healthier. F wasn't at this best self as he shared his unsolved situation with his mom.


i hardly have a deep connection with my parents. I hardly think of my parents face in my mind, i can only picture them when i was a little child as young as 6. That smile, i remember dad used to wear his coat to work, he used to comb his hair before work. Mom loves to bring me out, she loves me and he loves me. they wanted me to learn piano but i was too afraid to be away from them, even going to school i always have many butterflies in my tummy. 


So much has happened over this 13 years, everyday a wall had built in between us. it feels like Life has changed so much already, as i have more brothers they carried more responsibility, life no longer be the same for me. Mom used to dress me up like a princess and ties my hair before i go to school but im doing it all alone now.


When i think of my parents, i dont really feel that much.
Mother had left, as time passed. it just tells me that i can survive without one.
Dad was always busy with whatever he is doing, we argue alot alot alot.
i just want to avoid unnecessary conversation 

My Life Today

When i see other's people's life, at times when illusion sank into my mind. Times when oh my gawd, how come they could be like that? and im all here feeling this shit? 

What's this shit ? describe please !

well basically i'm just feeling a bit lost. what kind of life do i want and at this situation where nothing seems to be stable, what can i do ? there seems to be a wall in between me and my confidence because i kinda lost them. I got affected by illusions, they stopped me from being who i wanted to be. Pop Pop Pop !*

I should appreciate myself, reflect and do journal! 

I remember when my aunt asked me a question while we re argue-ing or something. She questioned that what kind of life would i choose if i were to given the ability to choose?" 

My answer is that i'd still choose this life, and i wouldnt want to exchange this life with anyone else"   - why did i said that? 

What kind of life are you having right now?

- reflecting mode*

It was also part of my fault to let my ego runs over me and take the lead. 

Going with the flow is the answer

While waiting for the movie to start, we had some food at the secret recipee and its brother RA's treat so many thanks. Having some conversation about my 99th group, which caught me wondering what am I doing and what should I do?

'keep it that way' - going with the flow.
Whats our intention of having this group? Keeping everyone connected and sharings as well. Perhaps I somehow lost mind and forgotten that point. Having to have this thoughts and oneself arguement to align myself, why am I doing this?

So the gatherings, what do they really mean? I sometime says that it'd be like a short break after a long weekend as we just have fun. But thats somehow what I wanted and not what they would expected.

Perhaps His right, they wanna grow as well. So which part am I playing for this? Whats the next move? Perhaps I need to look for bigger guys and listen to more to learn.

Anyways, bestday all.
Much love

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baby growing up

My BabyBoy is not with me now his somewhere far getting himself fixed up. He got into a fight and hurt his right eye, i couldn't blame myself but i'm just going to be positive and let him know i love him, and im proud that he grown up to be a Mahn now. :)


Went all the way to somewhere far for this incident. But so far so good everything is alright, i just didnt want them to know what exactly happen because i dont want confrontation. caught myself eys.


I didnt want to face the consequences of not listening and ignoring  advises resulted to face my own ignorance in the end. So, i kept quiet just waiting the time to pass :)


still waiting for the chance to boom my account :D

ON TOUR :)

 Dizah and her guest while doing the Free transit Tour :)

 im walking on sunshine yeaaa haaaa  (im working in sunshine) 

 She like taking pictures ey :) - first time kana belanja by her.

thiking the food much be extra yummy-er. thanks dza.

 In picture ; Abang Pijul and Ad Musa

Pijul lost weight, look at his face and he used to be so lampoh :)

congrats bro, nice to know that life is good for you. 

 Dizah and Pita Burger :) model of the day

 Diza, our guide and our beloved driver, Sutrisno :)

One of my best photo where as Ad Musa looks like a sticker sticked on a blur background.

two thumbs up :)

Its not about the money money money,

why is material goods and awesome things are starting to attract me more and more?

The mindset of, we will never be satisfy of what we have and we will keep wanting more.

that words came more real to me because i couldn't stop have the desire of having more.

Money is the root of all evil ? would this statement still stand if money were to be one of the factors to help people in needs? What is life for me now when my desire has grown towards material goods. Back to the question, what is my intention of having all of this?

Where is the sense of APPRECIATING and ENOUGH is ENOUGH?

what is enough ? because it never feels enough. And this will distance me away to many things i know. Where will this lead? My desire of having more material good is over ruling my thoughts.

ALIGNMENT is REQUIRED or i will Mess up myself.

Godbless me well :)

love Jesus

Asking Myself, now that im 18 coming to 19

Coming 19 in 3 months, and i wonders how would it feel to be 19.

I remember when im 15 and i'd always talked about how i wish i was just 13 and 13 and 13.

13 perhaps is the time when i dont think of any responsibility at all in my life. i just know how to have fun and escape my life from home because i didnt like the environment back home. So, i always fill up my time hanging out with friends but now that im coming 19 !

I'm still 18 at the moment and i couldn't really imagine how life is now.

Because i have almost everything that i ever wanted already.

At the Age of 18, i bought my own iphone 4, i got a D5100 dream camera, i own an ipad now and i have my own car loan paid by myself as well and its a Pearl white kia new sportage and i got all of this by myself and God's blessings.

And i come to a point that money does makes me feel good especially when i spend.

Material goods eh, enjoying life to its fullest and the moments.

I didnt inherit any business from my family, i just worked on my own and had this result in 10months time, pretty amazing eh.

But what am i going to do with my life?

Thinking of starting something out but im stuck with no idea and resources now.

What is that all about? I like it but then somehow the people around me show up as in i couldnt really count on them, where's your commitment boy? We just talking and talking empty air and i got a bit fed up tho i tried my best to remain positive. I own this life and what im going to do about it?

I always having the vision of my life, knowing what i want to do and i want to help my friends to live the life as how i could live, travel as far as i would as well. Living life to its fullest and bringing a group of people like family in my life and enjoying every 3M moment.

I want to travel around the world and explore different culture, i want to hang around with people to understand more about life and people itself. Helping with their relationship and financial status managing them out, my passion in life is found and it's about helping people.

I have so many ambition as i explained last night. So much and yet my time is limited, i didnt have the time to go to church, worship and praise the Lord. I didnt have time to do my research and a bit of case studies related to my interest. I dont have those times. 

I would spend my offdays hanging out and sometimes i really need to just sit here longer and do all this that im doing right now.

thinking of entering the community for the very first time and try out to see how this business can really work out. I got a bit fed up about my vision that i had when i was 15, building a team of hopeless people! really a bit fcuked up instead im just going to do it on my own since not much people is interested as much as i do. therefore i'd just fly and do it bigger. YEA, i will do that. 

I feel so GREEN !

I want to be able to spend more time in what i wanna do, like really wanna do.

Financial freedom'/ geez who wouldn't want that? YES I DO.

Im thinking 2 Years from now, when im 20-21 I'd already be a very successful person and in a financial freedom status :) I had the VIC :)

So the FUN will start later as soon as daddy activate my account.

And this is where another part of my life starts. :) 

Life to awesome ness and i want to build my friends up for this :)

Life is always awesome

and i love Jesus :) cause His the One who keep blessing me from above, thanks PAPA <3

i pray that my vision and dream can be achieve, and i want to be MAD as well.

helping people :) living life to the fullest, another awesome journey and commitment start NOW <3

in Jesus Name, Amen

much love

rui

too many ambitions?

I figured I may own too many ambitions just like my dad. I dont get along with my dad too much, we have short tempers and bad ones too but dont get me wrong cause I love my dad! We're passionate people, too passionate in many things we lost ways.

Now the thoughts of earning money, thoughts of enjoying life.

Skimcare,Amway,work,TES,cv, travel and what more.
I hold too many ambitions. And my church, im trying to fit my time to all these events and try not to add in more things.

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HappyBirthday PaPa :)

Today is my papa's birthday and yesterday was Donna's birthday where we had one crazy night at one of our friends to be opened restaurant and its going to be amazing! I cant wait for it to be open because I'll definitely hang out there alot! :)

Its been cool, theres something funny happened in the night - anyways whuush :)

Getting more and more tired and I need more rest, I ve been playing around for quite sometime and I need my beauty sleep. And days at work just has its up and down because one sec all is well and then suddenly its crap all over again. Whaat? But im just going to learn to be better and just slowly, no rush.

Im getting more and more clear on what I really need to do at work and what are the visions. :)

Life is Good - ItsruiSmers

This Fri night, dance you say.
But I may be meeting w my miss and sis awesomes.
Will see, but they do rocks!

Much love
Rui

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Awesome Morning!

This morning, my day was started off with kakao talk and facebook as usual doing my morning greetings to my second awesome family. We kept ourself close and connected through the technologies. :)

Yesterday was a good day and Im glad that they had fun and enjoyed the 3m moment, Rudi from break waterfront is awesome, he gaved us an excellent services and im thankful because I believe he gaved us a good deal. Well, yes thanks to all of them who worked for the night, and yesterday was all about the august babies.

Had a surprised birthday gathering for Donna,mei, goodboy and Kim berly. Forgotten that papa jong also august babies oo, sorry papa :) but overall it was a great gathering and I thanked all whom show up that night.

This morning as I was enjoying the moment and met nature. And this thought came to my mind after I posted about me leaving the past and just bringforth the awesome ness towards today and the thought of my ability to choose has become stronger. Realizing that everything I do are choices and no matter what happen the trees are still going to be as how it was yesterday, nothing really changed its us who changed, either we had turn more unhappy or we felt great and these are the choices that we make. :)

I know that I need to do something and so, I shall start to do my best at where

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found.

Thanks to a wonderful journey I am in now, more colours is drawn to my life and I felt more alive than ever. I am now situated in an awesome environment where we're all doing our best to be MAD! (making a difference) such a wonderful journey and my deepest appreciation goes to BigFish and my mentor as they help me with my growth along this journey.

Because of this journey, I met wonderful people and installed so many toolds in life, this journey had helped me so much that I learn to find my true authentic self, being more courageous, aware of my thoughts, action and being impeccable with my words. I learn that everyday is my best day and stay present to really enjoy the moment. Appreciate life and be thankful, trust, as well as knowing that we re humans and itsokay to be vulnerable and powerless. And I know that I have my ninety nine family and the awesome environment supporting me along the journey. Life is good and I love it more than ever now.

I found my passion in life and this journey had equiped me and im ready to rawk! I didnt do it well before perhaps the universe figured im not ready enough but now im ready :) I have more confidence in myself and fear is slowly fading, I'll make the move not someday but right now.

Im also very grateful to have wonderful instructors and logs supporter in my life. Life is getting more and more awesome :)

enjoy every moment, of the endless summer.

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Feeling better.

Notice that I was on my way heading to a conflict again with my colleagues but thank God I cooled things down and we even hugged when we saw each other -.-

It was a peaceful day and a slow day as well. I constantly looking forward for a slow day but I know a slow day can really slow me down, perhaps I've stopped running, the bruises that I got over running was added with salt. (I think) and yea, im just getting comfortable and I have a thing for getting hurt now. So I avoid getting troble even if it means to be less right and more wrong. I just want to save all the trouble


And I felt that I lost the sense of responsibility, thats holds part of the reason how I get here with this feeling. Just like how I always wanted to change my family for the better, and no one listens till I numb myself up and gave up.

I felt awkward in a way sometimes, but I know I had grow :) do you know that your environment is the things that shapes you? And I know I grew to be better already, I learn to not take things to personally :)

first night ever, fuad dizah and I had dinner at pastamania, wow. Yums! Hehe and I was to informed that my car will definitely be out on Saturday! Tell me about life :)

nights all.

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Feeling abit shitty now

I felt a bit shitty now, after trying to be at my best I tried to be more cautious with the words I used. Not tone yet, I realized but somehow I still got annoyed because they happen to show up badly and it get into my nerves more. -.-


But I cant screw anyone up because I need to CHANGE! Need to breakthrough this stage where I stop getting annoyed or feelinhg shitty.

Dont let the word of the world influence your relationship with others, somehoe you judge and your attitude changed. Rather than choose on how to perform at your very best and choose to live today to its fullest. Live love life people!

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Life is so so GOOD !

itsrui Smers ;
life is Good <3


I kept repeating the same quote all over and over again ! because Life IS REALLY GOOD! :)
Enjoy Life is what i kept reminding the world and myself as well, and Gilbert's Sharing today really relates to me :)

ohh yea ! i want this to be my background :D

Oh yea, i do want to share that im actually swapping my iphone 4 for an ipad.

does it worth? i was actually having in mind that iphone 4 is just a phone and i dont need it that much actually because all it does for me is texting and ringing And most of the time im actually using it for social purposes. like facebook and etc.

So why not own an ipad and view things two times larger? :)

and i prefer classic phones like 6700, or mini phones like x5-01 :D

thats why i've been searching for that in brunei fm -.- 

and also trying to sale my SONY HANDYCAM and if no one wants to buy my baby.

im going to auction it for charity :D

Life is good, enjoy life because i really do want to live life to the fullest.

tho im like in some shit now because my car is coming out soon and i need to start to pay and OMG i need saving for my next vacation where got enuf oo ? So, im telling myself that THIS IS MY LIFE TO LIVE, MY STORY TO TELL!

and I CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE THIS LIFE TO THE FULLEST ! <3

ohh, so my New Baby is coming out soon ! :D

My Nikon D5100 is now called NIXON <3

and what shall that Pearl White Kia Sportage be called?  - White Bunny :)

Love yourself Girl,

Im loving myself and finding my authentic self :D

Itsruismers@gmail.com

itsruismers.blogspot.com

twitter @itsruismers

itsruismers.com

everything itsrui Smers :)

Much LOVE ! <3

totally back!

Totally back !
i've came back to where i started! Im setting up my team and action is well taken now.
I'll start this project slow and easy with less expectation as well. oh yea, im starting the new project already which i should have already been doing few months back! Due to work, ive stopped this quite a long while and my team were left behind.


now that im back on track, im just being thankful that they were still around to support.
but my vice didnt felt that great, perhaps he hold some resentment within himself. So, i actually felt some uneasy tho i tried to take it positively, but that attitude is not that good tho. If this continues, its either me being patient or i'll just zoom it away. ( which mean me being honest and straight forward about this issue affecting future cooperation )


Life is always good, im just going to balance out my life perfectly for what i intended to do! will just pray that passion grows and i will still love what i do here, at the same time im achieving the other parts of my life as well. :)


much love

Life is Good :)

was going through some challenging moments and i thought that why life had turn so rough -.-
im like a lost bunny, no where to go. ;0


i was watching "soul surfer' the day before my off day and that movie inspired me to face all the challenges ahead of me. And i also come to realize that, i've forgotten how did i reach this point of my life. I remember that people used to tell me how good i was, and how many things i could do. even friends/people i just knew would surprisingly commented that my thoughts are more mature than my age. And behind the scene, i was actually going through alot during my childhood times, crazy times with my crazy family life. But throughout those challenging moment is how i've grown so fast. 


Soul Surfer is such an inspiring movie that inspired me to find my passion all over again, and it had shown me that challenges have mask themselves to teach us and help us grow. I'm now taking challenges are 'the time for me to grow' -


Im enjoying life - so so much!
last night, i was having my off day. Gilbert invited us for Salsa and i enjoyed the night with many others ! we went TK after salsa @ kiarong. 
Also after having a short meeting w my team, my vision of life is getting clearer.
Ive always wanted to do more things in life, and whats really holding me back now is what im doing at this very moment. How to let go, something that had assured my future?
Im a person who loves Fun and im uncertain if i could keep staying and see how far will this route bring me. Perhaps the only way for me to stay is that i dedicate percentage of my time for it and the rest for the others.


I have a dream to catch, no ` i have my own vision, intention and commitment.


One day, when everyone had shown me that there's no more hope. i Shall leave, but my heart will always be with them because they are part of my family and i wouldnt let them go. :) He'll always still be my papa, her as my mama and him as my koko :D


Surprisingly that his looking for me? Yes ! so surprised, its been 1 1/2 years.
Someone whom i wouldnt want to replace with anyone, someone that i cherish dearly, someone whom shown me so much care and love. :) i miss you, brother and even facing you right now' i will totally be speechless. First thing is, hows life? :) the last time i see you is april 2010.


Life is indeed good, because at this point of my life -
im going through all the awesome FUN <3
i love my new life, with work tho it can be improved.
i love my life with my new family and a new life is on its way as well.


''' i love this new life, being with all of you who is currently in my life.
i love the way the boys would say they wanna have my back and i'd be their little sister. 
I love my life where people loves me :) and i love them.


This life is Awesome and i said this before " i'd never exchange this life with anything else, because its way too awesome" :) ` and i really do loves this life, im living life to the fullest at the moment! :)

4th Oct 11

Too many photos, i just named my D5100 nikon as Nixon :)
Nixon owns 1,200+ pictures over the week, and i was having a hard time transfer-ing the pictures. :D 


Surrender ! Run and Escape! - yellow demands :D
going through another cold war and bigFish had to settle the problems for us.
after a bit of war, we hugged for peace. Words are not good enough for Big Fish, its action that says it all. 


I don't want to dissapoint you, please keep that believe you always have for me. Mentor shined already, and i wanna be there as well.


After the cold war, we had one amazing 3M Moment <3
and it was truly amazing, hand in hand and sharings <3 i really enjoyed that moment.


Nixon Nixon Nixon <3
still waiting for my ride and it take ages ! :0


I want to be better, i want to SHINE!


much love

Break those Fears

Break those fears from being who you truly are, shine wherever you are! :)

I just finished my 3rd journey and i really enjoyed it alot. Spending time with my mates are one of those 3M moments, i found myself very involved and starting to contribute as well. What is your intention, what is your purpose in life. and my question is "why am i here" everyone is here for a reason, and what are they ?

I love the new environment, its like my new family :) - and i loved being around them because its like 'wow' awesome :) Life really has its ups and downs because flashing back to the past, ive been going around from places to places and now, im here! there's no exact destination in life, just a journey so wherever life may bring you - just enjoy :)

Breaking those fears, i love passion and courage and i wanna built them up high :)

normally yes! well always , im always thinking about how people may judge and i always think too much about something small. even a little thing, i'd create so much illusion ;0 .

I want to create a new circle of environment in my life and i want to get connected with them. because they are indeed awesome. this time i really love those daddy-ies :) , taught me alot and i really appreciated it.

im still asking myself what i really want to do in life. A moment, i felt like stop everything and start something out there, but BigFish had done so much for me, *guilty* so i decided to stay longer and help. :) But when time comes. these passion either way shall also be released. I dont appreciate people who has no appreciation in their dictionary , so watch those attitudes because i dont really like giving face that much.