clock ticking , currently waiting for someone to pick me up and send me home . Tho i do not understand the arrangement but i somehow felt that perhaps the others would receive the thought of uneven treats .

Ofcourse , its beyond my strength to understand the motive behind every action ( yet ) - my thoughts ' perhaps , i should just be thankful .

november fades '

november , thanks for everything (: i waited for you every 12 months . but i guess there's also a disadvantage of meeting you as each time we met , you never failed to make me a year older .

November is leaving soon , december sounds exciting actually . Tho i do not know what december has prepare for me but haha .. I hoped im ready for it .

Its almost a month since i worked , and for the pass few weeks i learned a lot and many undescribeable feeling felt . Some still remained as a mystery , unrevealed . But its a full month with many happenings every single day . Just be thankful and grateful that throughout everything God is behind it.

Lets just hope that everysingle moment its well blessed. I cant be without Him , because throughout everything it was Him who kept me where i am .

22nd nov' 2o1o

i SHOUT-ed to the FULL . why am i such a hyper kid ? my 'second thought' method is used during the second phrase . for example , - not thinking when i react , but right after .

feelings paused , i should have set my heart right . but where should it be placed ?

whats next ? lets see ..

what happen to the 'happy' cricket ? lols , she ain smiling nor laughing - point is she ain happy and thats not 'her' ! so what had caused that remains a mystery .

18th day at work , i remember how i like to count my days . I always say ' this is my 2nd day at work ' 'my 3rd' ' 4th' and i stop saying it anymore because its now my 18th day . Coming to my 3rd week and i was never trying to make it sound funny when i say ' time sure pass by really fast ' . and .. Joy as well , starting to play its up and down routine which i prayed it not . I just hope fun and joy would be well maintained .

i always think - what i miss , is whats not meant for me so i dont get too upset , perhaps its already been arranged . but tonight as i gazed upon the dark sky , i wonders ' all the happenings , are they destined or its due to the decision i made ' end with a GIGANTIC QUESTION MARK .

suddenly , the route ahead was covered my thick mist .

bye hermano

i dislike how the world make me feel ! no , cause i dont want to be influence by the world , its better vice versa .

today , perhaps i place my own stand again . i dont want to feel the way that i do . and i dislike myself being un-cheerful , i dislike what bothers me and replace my smile .

I remember how i used to say , tho you meant a lot to me but still i had to bury you away .

Third ? Because i think its been the third , lols and addition of mr ndy pantsy . 4-5 vics and yes , i do dislike .

Im trying to close the door . so that i wont get aches . Farewell .

Love, ruiyee.

looking for hermano

just a little girl in a big big world . ;D complicated yet simply amazing . :)

end my search , or perhaps lets say ' i dont need it anymore ' ? I didnt get it, tho i seek , i ask but throughout the journey im still empty handed .

they pass by me today , and nothing much was given . Perhaps i should stop my search , i should learn to stand on my own . But can i survive ?

I think im starting to miss them because i was looking at his doopleganger twice. It just gave me a feeling that soon he will just appear right infront of my eyes .

Talk soon, but .. im waiting still for that day to come -hermano .

Love, ruiyee

15th November 2010

wonderful day, :) indeeeeed ! yea right.
I had the craziest day today, Guest giving me so much troubles.

Now it's so clear that NO BIGGY BROTHER ! :(

So i had JOLIBEE my LUNCH and DINNER. :P Same menu lagi. LOLS.

the life of rui -

Something i always wanted wasnt here yet. :)
i made my first approach but things didn't quite well, and my second approach was rejected . and now that i know that thing i had my eyes on is not mine. :) and there's A BIG QUESTION MARK in my mind.

The same scenery appear, my fear .. my jealousy :)
But then, i should always produce positive-ness and so i thought, " nah, i should just do my best in everything " :) tho i fear what i used to have will no longer be mine, but - " what you miss in this world, it means it wasn't meant for you " :)

BE POSITIVE ! :)

i shall be STRONG ! (:

tomorrow OFF <3 and SUNDAY <3
so what im going to do tomorrow is, either rajin sikit. go Royal Regalia do my solo research or ...
SLEEP. :) but what i really wanted to do is ... Get my Car License..

Life has its ups and downs, (: just hope i can overcome and persevere them ALL .. :)
Pray for His Blessings., :) AMEN AMEN AMEN !

Love, ruiyee.

18th is Me ! :D

finally 18 !
13th november , your mine and i love you but whenever we meet you make me a year older.

My 18th birthday was Great , (: tho i had work but it was fun . Bro E belanja me , yummy (: received more than 220 greetings from fb . Lots of smile , ohh i had my first solo tour , 10pax . Awesome tips , (: cheers ,

brother and sister knew what i fancy and made a surprise for me , much appreciated .

Geez ' i proposed kaliah , but rejected - ouch ! but i know , his still a Goodie Goodie guy who takes good care of me.

Gilaaa, ea lupa me sudah ke ? sad kaliah . Geez '

overall , a happy happy day . and everyone made my day, thanks to all the greetings from fb, surprise from bro and sis , smile from all and lots of love .

Praise God for everything , thank God my first solo was smooth (:

lots of love, ruiyee

striving to the half max actually at work . :D WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME? my ALL you say , dude - let me see whats worth right . (:

speechless is me. So ...

one part of me seems to be drifting away ,

last few months , i was all excited . trying to expect the fun they may prepare for me . I was like all i want was to hangout w them , have fun . Hey thats feels satisfying . But today, the feeling just fade when massive bomb happened . I just felt so awkward and different after that person told me that they couldnt stand my words , the words i used wasnt appropriate as they sound like instructing/demanding or so and they felt uncomfortable . That was the bullet i took , and i bleed silently . I was out of words and instead of getting back to them , i swallowed my pride as many as i could and apologized .

Many time , my text was full of explaination ready to take the bullet out and blast one of my

So not ready to be 18th yet.

countdown 4 days and geez' im not ready to be 18 yet . I mean whose not ready to grow , well i guess that would be me . I literally tears last night over the idea of not wanting to grow up , i want to stay and remain . Being a kid is good what , i get to do lots of things .

I want to have A BIG BROTHER !! :( *majal*

---

Someone who used to be very close to me , no longer is. 

eightday at work, say waaat

sometimes , well most of the time actually . when we feel something is missing , thats when we start to fill up the missing part . But the truth is , it was ours in the first place , we just didnt knew exactly how precious they were until we actually knew how big piece they've gone missing in our world (life) .

I dont know what should i do now but all i know is ' im out of ways ' - im not thinking of both possible options , so what am i thinking .

whats happening around , shows who really cares eventually . Its just a matter of time when you will see whose the sincere ones in your life.

Im being happy , honestly . God has been taking good care of me , and i really do appreciate those who asked about my works. My work has been really awesome, everyday tho its very crazy but still there's always a great story to talk about. (; ive always been counting on him and no, he never fails me.

I was extreme-ly early today, went to work at 5.30am and did sales. Monkey w bro eric then back! Had bread and sales ! Been blessed w sufficient sales , hope i get to hit my target this month. And double it , cause two people gave me tips . His very kind , (:
never forget yesterday ! Haha , a guy (my guest) whose so kind to actually got me 2 sales . Say whaaat. (;

did two monkeys today, tho it was heavy raining but they enjoyed the experience and saw lots of em. Back office at 6pm and home!
Tho tmr my offday, i still feel like going for morning saja. Haha. Lols.

Things has turn out pretty awesome , ive met tons of new smiles . Really loved it , im happy. But everything that had happened to me, wasnt by my own ability nor effort . Everything that i have had has was all by God's grace.

Have a sweet day all. Godblessalways!
Amen, love ruiyee always!

sixthday of many works

i believe i miss record my fifth journey of work , missing page on my diary as well yikes . Well , due to busy nights . Abang Arpin was here to send me the pics , took quite sometime and brother andy came and we went to icc ( techexpo'10 ) w iting, ys and her mom.

Gracefully thank to both the guys whom kindfully help me to do my sales . (: ystrdy .

So what actually happen on the sixth day ?

This is what happen , i went to airport as early as 6.30am + . Busy crazy few hours , work had me working around . and both my mouth and leg didnt seems to be able to stop . 11am bring a tour , and i just had drink at foodcourt cause i wanted to buy bread from airport . Who knew bro t were to appear and bring me along , so off i went for another 4 hour. Busy traffic delayed ourselve for about an hour , return and giler i was actually running all the way down and up to return my pas , rush to car and praise the lord ! Bro h sent us bk to office and waited again for bro t to drop me home. So was about 7pm . And more than 12 hr work on my 6th day. Siok banar. Haha, well im just joking but some part were actually fun.

Had a fine day actually. No off day tmr , hmm.

Hope for a fine day tmr , and smile smile smile . Praise the lord for everything. Hehe, my sales increasing as well , big smile.

Tmr another battle !

To be honest , I always see them as hermano and true when I like to be stickish at time. (:

Have a blessed day all ! Pray before bed and be thankful for everyting today, cherish everything you had .dont start getting it back when its missing and out of sight.

Love, jc ruiyee.

fourthday of workk.

sometimes , its just so very true that all we really need is ' a little more faith ' . -true story .

I had , i believe , faith was produced :D last night, i had a bad feeling and i planned my aim for the next day ( which is today ) . it wasnt easy , but after we put our trust unto Him , and have a little more faith . It really works !

Praise God , because my prayer was answered ! I know somehow i had to do it , had to count on Him . I did , and He just open the cage and show me my opportunity to catch . It was an unusual opportunity because if that man didnt missed out getting something , i wouldnt be able to saw him and did what i planned to achieve last night . Guess God just show me what i had to see , think , react , approach at the same time. (:

why isit fun , i met a lawyer , a sailor and etc . Germany, swedish - you name it , i may not know. But yea , definitely had much fun times and conversations. I followed bro t for bs, quite fun but yea tired.

Problems and mistakes ;
i wonders why so much and i looked back to the past, trying to recall what was the mistake that i made, that can cause the problem today. Its true tho, that problem was never a problem , we just think it is a problem for us. you see, the feelings how a person felt was by how the other treat him/her. when you see someone being quiet , when you see someone not sticking w you much , one of the many reason is ' you hurt them ' some of the reasons , well . I wouldnt like to explore it because they wouldnt be a delight.

Different events fall around often, and also you might experience some past feelings you had before. But why did we had a replay of the same events? Well, its about how you handle it this time due to what you've learn from the past.

I had some uncomfortable events thats happening, i didnt knew what was the best option to use. What i can really do, best is - ignore and had you(them) out of my life because thats the best i could do. So , bless be upon you. (;

Praise the Lord Almighty for everything !

Pray for a fine day tmr as well, all smiles - applied to all and me ! ;D

love,ruiyee

thirday of kerja !

Great , im in bed early .
This is what happen on my 3rd day of work , 10days before my 18th year breathing on earth .

well , i got more confident to approach people ( quite true ) i actually had fun myself , i met a 'band' so called - cloudstreet . (; two lovely people . and also i met an indo-chinese guy whose an architect just like ted mosby , well its his first experience in brunei . (: yeaa , we did get to know each other . :D FUN !

its always a delight to know more people , and i was never really too tired to entertain them . Sadly some of the people i missed , were the actual people that i should had approach . No sales for me, tho i was praying hard . But i prayed harder tonight for more actual sales tomorrow. (:

tho the exterior draw a normal picture but its actually a battlefield on the inside. No jokes, no drama free .

I guess lil kid is just sick of pulling anyone's leg . AS IF the way i was treated, is what i deserve then im speechless and definitely had no other option to select but to accept it . but if it isnt then girl, wake up . - you cross the line, you truly have.

I met bro zee, 3rd time i bump into him ever since i stop . and tmr mlawbornday. Hb2!

Have a great day guys.
Pray before bed,
love, ruiyee

day 3 ! (:

day 3 of what , well work . Goin to the airport soon .. ( not so soon ) waiting for someone to pick me up .

alright , isit true that what we miss meant its not meant to be for us ? I kinda believe it tho , remember one part of heroes season 4 or 3 . Hiro was trying to transport back to the past and save this man whose trying to jump off the building because he got fired . So Hiro travel the time backward and fixed the problem , the man didnt get fired . But the next thing we know is that man is still standing up the building trying to jump due to family prob reason , hiro once again travel back to the past , solve the problem and next thing that man is still standing on top of the building .

' there's something we just couldnt change , destiny . ' - but do we still believe such old fashion quotes and believes ?

second day work

second day at work, so hows it goin to be. Its like second day at school , college or so. tho i haven been to college , well maybe going to college would be awesomer . Neways .. ' think nothin , do whatever given . ' - empty my mind, pour away my heart . ;0