Christmas is LOVE - to me. (:

Greetings to everyone around the world ! Merry Awesome Christmas to all , <3 for today is another joyous day to be. 

Christmas at last ( finally ) , my brother is currently @ bristol and before he went away. it's just so sweet of him to prepare a gift for me before he went away. His currently enjoying the Christmas atmosphere there, where's the Freakin Freezing snow would never fail to remind him how he spend his 2010's christmas. (;

Tho im away from work, but im still thinking about work from time to time. wondering hows the others doing. altho its pretty sad because both Triffer and Paris will be away soon, it's their last month here. :(( i just got to know them last month and i felt like they're family to me already. :) cant imagine work without them. :(

2010 is ending soon and so much had happened within this 365 days, last few days, i finally met my awesome sis - syasa . (: we went to Jerudong Park and played BUMPER CAR ! ;D i was like craaazzzyyy ! but im so glad to had hangout with her that night because that BIG SMILE and Crazyy fun night was all i NEEDED !




Syasa  is the girl in Green (: her Fav <3
and the rest are my awesome buddies from Gym.
we used to have so much Fun together. (: the joy, smile and laughter we used to share. (: i wished deep down that every single one of them is doing well. (; i missed them a lotts !


within 2010 ;
Met new Friends ,
New Smiles ,
New Stories , 
New Tears , 
New wonderful memories to be kept.


2010 ;

wanted more but lost even more .

due to what , due to hunger for sales . perhaps the motive is incorrect , wanted to grab everything i see but mistake happens easily in between the process . and i didnt used the best attitude to handle every situation that came to hand.

whats should i do ? :/
i wanted more but i lost even more , and perhaps the lesson today just tell me the big mistake. im just thinking, how should i behave?

Stay low, and dont get noticed. Is this the best tips for the day?
Gah , i need to pray.

im me , i owns a blog which i love to crap with . i tried my best to keep my blog updated , tho im not sure the exact usage of a blog but i just enjoy sharing thoughts and my days to known and unknown passerbys . I also owns a facebook account with a very weird name , reason why its weird because they dont get the hint of the name displayed anyway , its how i like it . and tho i tend to have ideas of a new facebook name but i just fancy my works to be casual , so i decided to leave it . same goes to my gmail account .

I just watched ' social network ' and its freakin good ! ohh , i say i do not know why i despo wanted an iphone 4 but fact is deep down i know whose behind all this .

There's a guy i like and i dislike having special feelings developed to him or any other that make me felt like this . banging my head , i need to get him off my heart .

Im off , xx

offday rush .

smile ! :D

38th day of work , so far so good. :) salary out soon - ! finally .

trying to sale my lappy just to buy an iphone 4 , worth it or not . i dont know , what i know is im sick with my old phone , any luck i wanna sale it too or perhaps just give my brother .

had a lot of sales today , blessed . wasnt able to join badminton lastnight because i had sushi night w my other colleges . and zamie is 'awesome' cause what i need zamie knows it all . :D shopping w zamie is the best !

my off tomorrow , and my plans are -
change dst line to prima ,
get my card from baiduri ,
learn to drive ,
makan makan w the boys .

So much to do , hehe ! :D

dont have enough cash , if not i would watch narnia , sniffs .

oh smile confession , yes i do have a heart for you and i no likey likey . stay away ! :D

GOD IS GOOD ! PTL ! ;)
I LOVE JESUS .

december :D

december ahead , :D

a new month , a new motivation ! :D LIL G wants an iphone 4 so freakin bad .

heard salary is 'out' soon , taking a glimpse of tomorrow and wishing its PAYDAY ! :D

life is like a season , - my life .
First , gym then church now work .. whats next , :D probably im still consider young and had many things to do . but its not about age whaat , perhaps its been planned early before i was even born .

work work work , its feel pretty awesome just living everyday by thinking everything was planned , everything was meant to be and that i just need to enjoy and understand what does everyday means , what are they trying to tell me .

Leave everything to Him ,
learning to set my heart free - not cling to anyone . :)

humbly His , rui :D

clock ticking , currently waiting for someone to pick me up and send me home . Tho i do not understand the arrangement but i somehow felt that perhaps the others would receive the thought of uneven treats .

Ofcourse , its beyond my strength to understand the motive behind every action ( yet ) - my thoughts ' perhaps , i should just be thankful .

november fades '

november , thanks for everything (: i waited for you every 12 months . but i guess there's also a disadvantage of meeting you as each time we met , you never failed to make me a year older .

November is leaving soon , december sounds exciting actually . Tho i do not know what december has prepare for me but haha .. I hoped im ready for it .

Its almost a month since i worked , and for the pass few weeks i learned a lot and many undescribeable feeling felt . Some still remained as a mystery , unrevealed . But its a full month with many happenings every single day . Just be thankful and grateful that throughout everything God is behind it.

Lets just hope that everysingle moment its well blessed. I cant be without Him , because throughout everything it was Him who kept me where i am .

22nd nov' 2o1o

i SHOUT-ed to the FULL . why am i such a hyper kid ? my 'second thought' method is used during the second phrase . for example , - not thinking when i react , but right after .

feelings paused , i should have set my heart right . but where should it be placed ?

whats next ? lets see ..

what happen to the 'happy' cricket ? lols , she ain smiling nor laughing - point is she ain happy and thats not 'her' ! so what had caused that remains a mystery .

18th day at work , i remember how i like to count my days . I always say ' this is my 2nd day at work ' 'my 3rd' ' 4th' and i stop saying it anymore because its now my 18th day . Coming to my 3rd week and i was never trying to make it sound funny when i say ' time sure pass by really fast ' . and .. Joy as well , starting to play its up and down routine which i prayed it not . I just hope fun and joy would be well maintained .

i always think - what i miss , is whats not meant for me so i dont get too upset , perhaps its already been arranged . but tonight as i gazed upon the dark sky , i wonders ' all the happenings , are they destined or its due to the decision i made ' end with a GIGANTIC QUESTION MARK .

suddenly , the route ahead was covered my thick mist .

bye hermano

i dislike how the world make me feel ! no , cause i dont want to be influence by the world , its better vice versa .

today , perhaps i place my own stand again . i dont want to feel the way that i do . and i dislike myself being un-cheerful , i dislike what bothers me and replace my smile .

I remember how i used to say , tho you meant a lot to me but still i had to bury you away .

Third ? Because i think its been the third , lols and addition of mr ndy pantsy . 4-5 vics and yes , i do dislike .

Im trying to close the door . so that i wont get aches . Farewell .

Love, ruiyee.

looking for hermano

just a little girl in a big big world . ;D complicated yet simply amazing . :)

end my search , or perhaps lets say ' i dont need it anymore ' ? I didnt get it, tho i seek , i ask but throughout the journey im still empty handed .

they pass by me today , and nothing much was given . Perhaps i should stop my search , i should learn to stand on my own . But can i survive ?

I think im starting to miss them because i was looking at his doopleganger twice. It just gave me a feeling that soon he will just appear right infront of my eyes .

Talk soon, but .. im waiting still for that day to come -hermano .

Love, ruiyee

15th November 2010

wonderful day, :) indeeeeed ! yea right.
I had the craziest day today, Guest giving me so much troubles.

Now it's so clear that NO BIGGY BROTHER ! :(

So i had JOLIBEE my LUNCH and DINNER. :P Same menu lagi. LOLS.

the life of rui -

Something i always wanted wasnt here yet. :)
i made my first approach but things didn't quite well, and my second approach was rejected . and now that i know that thing i had my eyes on is not mine. :) and there's A BIG QUESTION MARK in my mind.

The same scenery appear, my fear .. my jealousy :)
But then, i should always produce positive-ness and so i thought, " nah, i should just do my best in everything " :) tho i fear what i used to have will no longer be mine, but - " what you miss in this world, it means it wasn't meant for you " :)

BE POSITIVE ! :)

i shall be STRONG ! (:

tomorrow OFF <3 and SUNDAY <3
so what im going to do tomorrow is, either rajin sikit. go Royal Regalia do my solo research or ...
SLEEP. :) but what i really wanted to do is ... Get my Car License..

Life has its ups and downs, (: just hope i can overcome and persevere them ALL .. :)
Pray for His Blessings., :) AMEN AMEN AMEN !

Love, ruiyee.

18th is Me ! :D

finally 18 !
13th november , your mine and i love you but whenever we meet you make me a year older.

My 18th birthday was Great , (: tho i had work but it was fun . Bro E belanja me , yummy (: received more than 220 greetings from fb . Lots of smile , ohh i had my first solo tour , 10pax . Awesome tips , (: cheers ,

brother and sister knew what i fancy and made a surprise for me , much appreciated .

Geez ' i proposed kaliah , but rejected - ouch ! but i know , his still a Goodie Goodie guy who takes good care of me.

Gilaaa, ea lupa me sudah ke ? sad kaliah . Geez '

overall , a happy happy day . and everyone made my day, thanks to all the greetings from fb, surprise from bro and sis , smile from all and lots of love .

Praise God for everything , thank God my first solo was smooth (:

lots of love, ruiyee

striving to the half max actually at work . :D WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME? my ALL you say , dude - let me see whats worth right . (:

speechless is me. So ...

one part of me seems to be drifting away ,

last few months , i was all excited . trying to expect the fun they may prepare for me . I was like all i want was to hangout w them , have fun . Hey thats feels satisfying . But today, the feeling just fade when massive bomb happened . I just felt so awkward and different after that person told me that they couldnt stand my words , the words i used wasnt appropriate as they sound like instructing/demanding or so and they felt uncomfortable . That was the bullet i took , and i bleed silently . I was out of words and instead of getting back to them , i swallowed my pride as many as i could and apologized .

Many time , my text was full of explaination ready to take the bullet out and blast one of my

So not ready to be 18th yet.

countdown 4 days and geez' im not ready to be 18 yet . I mean whose not ready to grow , well i guess that would be me . I literally tears last night over the idea of not wanting to grow up , i want to stay and remain . Being a kid is good what , i get to do lots of things .

I want to have A BIG BROTHER !! :( *majal*

---

Someone who used to be very close to me , no longer is. 

eightday at work, say waaat

sometimes , well most of the time actually . when we feel something is missing , thats when we start to fill up the missing part . But the truth is , it was ours in the first place , we just didnt knew exactly how precious they were until we actually knew how big piece they've gone missing in our world (life) .

I dont know what should i do now but all i know is ' im out of ways ' - im not thinking of both possible options , so what am i thinking .

whats happening around , shows who really cares eventually . Its just a matter of time when you will see whose the sincere ones in your life.

Im being happy , honestly . God has been taking good care of me , and i really do appreciate those who asked about my works. My work has been really awesome, everyday tho its very crazy but still there's always a great story to talk about. (; ive always been counting on him and no, he never fails me.

I was extreme-ly early today, went to work at 5.30am and did sales. Monkey w bro eric then back! Had bread and sales ! Been blessed w sufficient sales , hope i get to hit my target this month. And double it , cause two people gave me tips . His very kind , (:
never forget yesterday ! Haha , a guy (my guest) whose so kind to actually got me 2 sales . Say whaaat. (;

did two monkeys today, tho it was heavy raining but they enjoyed the experience and saw lots of em. Back office at 6pm and home!
Tho tmr my offday, i still feel like going for morning saja. Haha. Lols.

Things has turn out pretty awesome , ive met tons of new smiles . Really loved it , im happy. But everything that had happened to me, wasnt by my own ability nor effort . Everything that i have had has was all by God's grace.

Have a sweet day all. Godblessalways!
Amen, love ruiyee always!

sixthday of many works

i believe i miss record my fifth journey of work , missing page on my diary as well yikes . Well , due to busy nights . Abang Arpin was here to send me the pics , took quite sometime and brother andy came and we went to icc ( techexpo'10 ) w iting, ys and her mom.

Gracefully thank to both the guys whom kindfully help me to do my sales . (: ystrdy .

So what actually happen on the sixth day ?

This is what happen , i went to airport as early as 6.30am + . Busy crazy few hours , work had me working around . and both my mouth and leg didnt seems to be able to stop . 11am bring a tour , and i just had drink at foodcourt cause i wanted to buy bread from airport . Who knew bro t were to appear and bring me along , so off i went for another 4 hour. Busy traffic delayed ourselve for about an hour , return and giler i was actually running all the way down and up to return my pas , rush to car and praise the lord ! Bro h sent us bk to office and waited again for bro t to drop me home. So was about 7pm . And more than 12 hr work on my 6th day. Siok banar. Haha, well im just joking but some part were actually fun.

Had a fine day actually. No off day tmr , hmm.

Hope for a fine day tmr , and smile smile smile . Praise the lord for everything. Hehe, my sales increasing as well , big smile.

Tmr another battle !

To be honest , I always see them as hermano and true when I like to be stickish at time. (:

Have a blessed day all ! Pray before bed and be thankful for everyting today, cherish everything you had .dont start getting it back when its missing and out of sight.

Love, jc ruiyee.

fourthday of workk.

sometimes , its just so very true that all we really need is ' a little more faith ' . -true story .

I had , i believe , faith was produced :D last night, i had a bad feeling and i planned my aim for the next day ( which is today ) . it wasnt easy , but after we put our trust unto Him , and have a little more faith . It really works !

Praise God , because my prayer was answered ! I know somehow i had to do it , had to count on Him . I did , and He just open the cage and show me my opportunity to catch . It was an unusual opportunity because if that man didnt missed out getting something , i wouldnt be able to saw him and did what i planned to achieve last night . Guess God just show me what i had to see , think , react , approach at the same time. (:

why isit fun , i met a lawyer , a sailor and etc . Germany, swedish - you name it , i may not know. But yea , definitely had much fun times and conversations. I followed bro t for bs, quite fun but yea tired.

Problems and mistakes ;
i wonders why so much and i looked back to the past, trying to recall what was the mistake that i made, that can cause the problem today. Its true tho, that problem was never a problem , we just think it is a problem for us. you see, the feelings how a person felt was by how the other treat him/her. when you see someone being quiet , when you see someone not sticking w you much , one of the many reason is ' you hurt them ' some of the reasons , well . I wouldnt like to explore it because they wouldnt be a delight.

Different events fall around often, and also you might experience some past feelings you had before. But why did we had a replay of the same events? Well, its about how you handle it this time due to what you've learn from the past.

I had some uncomfortable events thats happening, i didnt knew what was the best option to use. What i can really do, best is - ignore and had you(them) out of my life because thats the best i could do. So , bless be upon you. (;

Praise the Lord Almighty for everything !

Pray for a fine day tmr as well, all smiles - applied to all and me ! ;D

love,ruiyee

thirday of kerja !

Great , im in bed early .
This is what happen on my 3rd day of work , 10days before my 18th year breathing on earth .

well , i got more confident to approach people ( quite true ) i actually had fun myself , i met a 'band' so called - cloudstreet . (; two lovely people . and also i met an indo-chinese guy whose an architect just like ted mosby , well its his first experience in brunei . (: yeaa , we did get to know each other . :D FUN !

its always a delight to know more people , and i was never really too tired to entertain them . Sadly some of the people i missed , were the actual people that i should had approach . No sales for me, tho i was praying hard . But i prayed harder tonight for more actual sales tomorrow. (:

tho the exterior draw a normal picture but its actually a battlefield on the inside. No jokes, no drama free .

I guess lil kid is just sick of pulling anyone's leg . AS IF the way i was treated, is what i deserve then im speechless and definitely had no other option to select but to accept it . but if it isnt then girl, wake up . - you cross the line, you truly have.

I met bro zee, 3rd time i bump into him ever since i stop . and tmr mlawbornday. Hb2!

Have a great day guys.
Pray before bed,
love, ruiyee

day 3 ! (:

day 3 of what , well work . Goin to the airport soon .. ( not so soon ) waiting for someone to pick me up .

alright , isit true that what we miss meant its not meant to be for us ? I kinda believe it tho , remember one part of heroes season 4 or 3 . Hiro was trying to transport back to the past and save this man whose trying to jump off the building because he got fired . So Hiro travel the time backward and fixed the problem , the man didnt get fired . But the next thing we know is that man is still standing up the building trying to jump due to family prob reason , hiro once again travel back to the past , solve the problem and next thing that man is still standing on top of the building .

' there's something we just couldnt change , destiny . ' - but do we still believe such old fashion quotes and believes ?

second day work

second day at work, so hows it goin to be. Its like second day at school , college or so. tho i haven been to college , well maybe going to college would be awesomer . Neways .. ' think nothin , do whatever given . ' - empty my mind, pour away my heart . ;0

escape

maybe what matters, matters nothing at all . Its about what you value most, what has uphold a unique position deep down in your heart . Its just like a setting we set , or has been set . how we respond and reacts is just by who they are, what is it , when was it .. and by questioning who, what, when and so on , the answer is just by the daily happenings , your nature , perspective and ...

can we not feel what has already been felt , or can we not see what has already been saw , and to what already been heard . can feelings be paused , can we just erase what we see , heard , felt ?

handling feelings ,

maybe i should attend some sort of course for this . ;0 i definitely desire for an escape now . desire to left the care under my foot and set myself flying freedomly like a bird.

Maybe i should think , - maybe what matters, matters nothing at all. and what has been experince shouldnt had affect my emotions as well.


....

Last night was a blast. Madam Queen Goddess bday. @ escapade. Praise God and thanks to all.

Love,ruiyee

hermana

new chap ( BIG question mark )

i just came back from tea w some old classmates . Tonight , a night that was said but then wind came w a news . Today is just not the day , rather being upset , I honestly am lost about what to feel , what words to be said , what reaction to respond .

I saw a loving sister just now , she was such a dear to her brother . A sudden note came to remind me how i miss having a sister tho its not biologically but inside there was an assurance , a confident 'yes' .
I return home trying to search for a sister in my mind but loading failed . Tho there was a picture founded, but it shows 'error' - guess im uncertain about her ever since .

Changes , tell me how should i treat you ? I know your never easy to accept , but you were never too hard as well . Just show me the way so i know how to not get hurt .

Im just a sick kid who just wanted both hermano and hermana. I lost hermano , but hermana was there . now hermana , show me your next move. and i'll make mine .

we never knew exactly how blessed we are until we lost it . (: we never learn how to cherish and appreciate if we do not fear the sense of losing something . I fear , i do fear . There's always a tomorrow to make things right again . I hope my doubts were just me overthinking . Lets just see hows tmr , i pray that broken may be heal , pain may be heal , smile may be mend , laughter may be rejointed, love may grow . I need strength for tmr , so God please do re new my strength for tmr ! Thanks .

Love, ruiyee

Approaching November !

"Alright" i'm back blogging again, actually felt great saying this. :)

I didnt catch too much opportunity to online, tho i'm considering to get my own broadband unlimited which requires a fixed job first. :) so yeaa. ohh, i had a soft interview last week (friday) it sounds like I got a JOB. PTL ! :) thanks to all the Brothers and Sisters' prayer. Getting a Job doesnt mean more free time to online, i might be busy working and didnt even have my own time to rest, or surf the net. sobbing*

There something undone, and i couldn't just simple call a TIME OUT for this because it involved too much people inside. I need more time management and build up their team work. I should start brainstorming as soon as i finish my exam on Thursday.  i apologize and hope they forgive me. :( for my clumsiness and turtle-ness.

Days has been fine, tho im still sick.. well blame myself for not cherishing my body. i stood up on the measuring scale this morning and the measuring needle pointed 59KG !! :) wow, why am i not surprise ? Getting yourself up in the morning, fit your feets into those colourful socks and rush a bite of bread and start running around your house compound everyday as the clock strikes 5am SHARP ! what discipline to embrace ! I hope i could DO IT ! :)

Badminton tomorrow, it's actually very sweet of my brothers and sisters who always pick me from Home. :) cant wait for badminton tomorrow, cant wait to sweat actually and cant wait to be healthy again. that includes some weight lose as well. :D cant wait to meet those sweaty smiles.

Sis is still somewhere in Taiwan, it's so awesome-ly awesome that she called last night. :D missed her voice !! she called me few minutes and i called her back few minutes ! :D

KARAOKE !!
"it's just 3 months, not 4 years !" says HIM. -.-' whaaaat.  Fine then, having my own singing moments. well, i got it. hehe. had lunch at Aneka Rasa, and HOHOHO tho im sick but i sang ! :)
awww, look like the others enjoy themselves well. :) i'll just say.. it's FUN FUN FUN FUN !
they sang ;3

Yes, Abang Isam ! :) we' certainly am going to miss everyone once when we finished the course. :D
they small time we had together are always the most precious thing. remember my last trip to Beijing w the HK groups. miss em loads.


WORK WORK WORK WORK !


toodles love.
got to go, hope my cough will be blown away by the wind.
i cough badly in the middle of the class just now  and .... :(


Godbless All ! :)
love,ruiyee

The most unexpected October.

Had the most unexpected Day ever. :) month OCT you definitely gives me a good impression about yourself. :) Yesterday, i met a guy at a place i never expected we'd bumped into each other. Brother simply made my day interesting by embarrassing ourselves and we'd made a Fool publicly. Out of nowhere, Dad just asked me to attend a course which his friend couldn't continue.. So noon, i was there to replace him and ... most of the people were wondering where's the Man ? transformed into a Girl. -,-

it was indeed an eventful day, (: thank God.
I received tons of smiles from people i yet not know, and knew few people whichever places i reached. Nice ~ ! :) Thank God for such an eventful day and those smile i received.

Pray that sister whose at taiwan will have a great trip there and prevent them from every harm please. :)
HOHOHO ~ remind ! text uncle for badbadbad later. :) can't be expecting too much today, but i'd definitely pray for a Great day, for everyone as well.

To all ! have a Blessed Day.

i didnt express my dissapointment towards my brother whom i know has been going through alot of problems lately. I tried as much as i could to show him care and love but unexpected news came, as he told me himself what his been doing to release his stress. I was really ... out of word. I'd just hope that he'll realize, Problems needs to be overcome, trials to persevere . Don't escape from any problems or do anything to cool down yourself. whenever things aren't going well, it's always about strengthen yourself and overcome them all. There's always a hidden knowledge within all the difficulties we're going through.. we'd grow more mature and ... (etc)
Hope he'll realize it sooooon ! Bro K.

Again, always :) cherish what you have around you before they turn to memories that you could only LOOK back on. :) <3 - S

Praise God !
love,ruiyee.

normal day w normal routine

well , i spend my day watching gossip girl and chuck . His still as attractive as ever . (:

if i were to countdown, that would be around (math error) days .

Its bad that i have special attention to what you like . Eliminate ! I shouldnt i shouldnt. Great ! Now that i have a feeling of hopeless-ness and lost sorta way .. I need to start praying hard .

He heals , whirspering ..

I met both shanice and danny last nyte , its nice to keep in touch again. (:

need new ground rule , toodles ..

15th October 2010 - Scramble EGG DAY !! :( me no likey.

Tho everyday is a blessing and we should make use of it to the full. I guess, i just don't know where to start .. at HOME.. Today isn't an exception as i spend Most of my times in Bed , it's either sleeping or watching tv. That's it for my days, well... except for the night when i get to have some activities with my sister there. Unfortunately, she's having/taking/ going on a vacation on Sunday.. so for the next 12 days she won't be around .. 

The unfortunate things are, i might not be able to get a Job as soon as i thought. but there's no reason to rush right ? so might as well just wait for the right time to do the right thing. ever heard of "there's a time for everything" ? (:

Ohh, i remember last night.. i had the most stressful night Ever ! ( not true ) -just to stir it up a little .. well, last night i was fighting myself to sleep again. rolling my self from right to left i finally got myself to read the book that Sis lend me, which i really felt like puking after reading half of it because that person makes no sense at all. -.-" i tend to use the word "puke" what it really means was it's really getting into my nerves and i cant take it. after reading half of the book entitled "the key to men's heart" i decided that, that BOOK is useless for me, or any other women. (sound pretty harsh) anyway, i read God's word after that which took me straight to bed. :)

( what really bothers me last night was ........ )

Dad's HOME ! from johor & Singapore. well, he returned with some gift.. guess what he bought for US. pencil Box, Great so now i have a pencil box which obviously is no use for me. it's the thought that count.

I'm still a Jobless monkey, someone whose still lost in her own dream. I dont know exactly what should i do, but His always leading me to somewhere so i should try not to worry that much. 

"I was so into him, but His so into her, but she's so much into that other Him.. " - What Up !

I think something is wrong with my eyes, maybe im finally going to wear SPEC. not pretty. hmmm` things i see gets blur sometimes and i get headache because of it. :( do i have eye problem ? constant watching tv and online perhaps. yikes.

I really am looking forward for a very first vacation which i could go with friends. I never ever ever go oversea with friends, so i had alot of hope for March. but turns out, things went reallly bad. I dont know how exactly should i respond about this, but i think i'm just too tired to even want to feedback a respond sometimes. i just found out that flight on MARCH is FULL. :( 

"what you miss, just wasn't meant for you" -slap on my face. ;/

well, just pray that those whose going would have their own fun there.. ( still can't believe i missed out on this one, whatever it is that opportunity that i didnt grab earlier )

and also i still cant believe what i felt last Night, seriously !! what's that? -.-"

A big Slap on my face and forget it.. May this be a lesson, experience that i wont ever ever had to repeat again cause it ain PRETTY. i should take more personality knowledge install in this tiny brain i had inside me. 

Glad that awesome sis and i are still keeping in touch, and that i just chatted with fyzan felt great, the others were like kinda lost in contact like for example kyz, pesal, and the rest. just hope they're fine out there. 

Toodles,

love, ruiyee !!!

Fooooool :(

I'm such a Fool. :/ tho its another lesson learn, but somehow i felt embarrassed ! 

one word 'weeirrrddd'

Great ! Just Great ( referring to another sleepless night )
i've lost count of how many times i stayed awake within this month , and today is not an exception.

what should be on my mind , i struggled . am i worrying about things i dont even had to ?

either the coffee had me stayed wide awake or the prob which has been wondering in my mind for the past 4 hours and continue .

Problems ey , they're hard to deal with .

If that prob i assumed really existed between us , i would say .. Its totally not worth it, i cherish what we had more than most of what i own. you know how i wouldnt confess my feelings toward that guy, but if its for this relationship sake .. I will confess right on spot , 'out loud' if request.

nahh, thats just an idea of how much i didnt want to jeopardize whatever we had.

Seasons, pass.

waiting patiently for the next chap.

Love, ruiyee.

Moooooooooody ? :/

Days has been fine, but what's bothering me at such moment ? What's my emotion and feelings trying to tell me by trashing my mood away ? Smiles weren't to be found much today and i wonder where they went for vacation.. i was fine last night, being all overjoy, overwhelmed and stuff .. but today it seems like i forgot how to smile, something must have gone wrong i doubt.

I tried to take my mind off for a while, so i can install my mind with other things to care ..

.....

knock on the head**

i found out what makes me so moody todayy . 

Ans : i didnt had enough rest :) cause after i had 100 Plus. fizzzyyy <3

i extra 25% AWAKE :)

Phewwwwwww ! ~~ *

Sweats :)

Today, i met Syasa :) it was so coincidence. :) Thank God actually cause i told Him that it's been months that i haven meet them. And today, He perform a wonderful thing again. :) Praise be to Him. I'm currently at yanshiang's place, picking up Jones later. :D

Smiles :)

The Changes In Me ,

I'm a sinner, and i was reborn ;) by His Grace.



Today, we planned to go hiking together. i missed twice, and this was my very first time hiking with Sister Yanshiang, Sally and Bro Jones. while waiting for Sally to arrive, Bro Jones and i start off with badminton warm up. it was his second time playing and he surprise me, someone who never played badminton can play that well. volleyballing hurts me bad. ;D


Hiking was fun, but i was as slow as a turtle. Thanks for lovely sis, whom went all the way down just to buy me some snacks. ;D if it wasnt for her, i think i would had faint because i only had dinner and i was so hungry when we reach shahbandar. ;D



I'm suchh a turtle ! ;S i need to work out, keeep fit , hike moree ! because i do desires to join the KK trip on March . pray pray pray ;)


we had dinner together, overall.. it was a great night. i know i had a great night. ;)





the worries that tries to rule my world, dont think Pops would allow that to happen. Because i got my guardian angel right by my side, He'll take care of me well. ;)


 The Changes In Me

As i waited, for sister's arrival. i sat at our back door, enjoying as the cool wind blow against me. i sat , and started to pray . i Thanked Him for this wonderful life He'd given me, and this wonderful day he had bless upon every one of us.


I then recalled years ago, i was sitting at the exact same position crying over the life i had. Asking, wondering, Blaming over everything that i faced. I asked God for an explaination and i told Him how i really hoped that He could just take the days away from me, destroy this place was what i asked for.


But years later, today , i sat at the exact same place with a gratitude heart and thank Him for loving me and every single thing that He done for me. He changed me, His my everything.


Life now is really awesome, altho i faced many worries, problems, tears and etc. But His always there holding on to me and overcome everything with Me. His God, what you think he couldn't do. He can do anything , everything ;)


__________________________________________________________________________


The troubles that cause me to lose my smile, i'll just close my eyes and carry my heart gently, waiting patiently with lots of faith. i know it's going to be alright. I'd kiss the sky everytime when he helped me overcome a mountain. His the MAN ! ;)



I'm so in love w you ~ !



Thanks for a great day, Sister Yanshiang, Sally & Brother Jones.

Esp Sis YS ! ;) Thankyou <3


Love,ruiyee

worried

Why do i feel broken-ed , the smile i used to have on my face. i know that smile, i feel it because it just came out of me whenever my heart glows, but that smiles seems to be overtaken by a worried facial expression.


i'll always be the little child who needs her Father.




Thanks sister yanshiang and brother Jones for your prayers. :)

Just a dream

When the place where all your memories are stored is falling apart, should we be sad and be broken-ed ? Or should we be happy because we once had such wonderful memories together ? Should we stay strong and give it a last big goodbye kiss and hug ? or should we cry over the wonderful memories that we no longer can continue?

I dreamt of my brother and sister last night, i saw him in his blue sleeveless shirt, i was hesitating but i dared myself to smile and greeted him warmly. i saw her, in black long sleeves .. we were having fun together like we used to and brother was around, other people was there as well.

*are these the picture i wanted to have in reality? *

i wanted to return, touch the place for the very last time before it's closed down. going back, the smiles, the talk, the laughter. 

im so messed up ! 

i feel like im sinking in the ocean for quite sometime now, waiting patiently for a oxygen tank to fall by my side so i can take another breath again. or waiting patiently for a hand to pull me up. 

" maybe i'm just dreaming because i wanted it to be that way, and maybeeee.. it's just a dream for me now "

love,ruiyee

unexpected tuesday

Today wasn't pretty-licious much. Maybe because the day was dull and everything felt pretty much empty. Mom called with a news that i hope i didn't knew, and now i'm lost about what should i do to make this right again. Should i thicken my face and try to at least strive for it? Or should i just ignore and let it be , not even trying everything ? well, i need to Pray about it.

I was expecting today, i did ..

And so, as the time passed by .. when it's almost there, nature tells me that it ain going to happen today . I was yet calm to think that " Maybe it wasn't meant to be .. " i shouldn't be either upset or dissapointed because there's nothing i could do to force a difference.

My heart felt shaky and i felt as if i'm going to be a baby tonight seeking for His arm. i want to be under His love, because it's Peace there. (; Only He can make me feel better. (: 

I sense something is not right, i think my sis is somehow troubled. i hope she's doing alright and dont take it too hard. let it go, and let the peace comes in. (; 

"it's like a wall that i couldn't break through."

problems

Hey readers,

A very sunny day today, brother and i went to coffee zone. It was his first time there, :) i ordered a Hot Chocolate, but he didnt enjoy the drink. Sister Yanshiang visited me just now, and it's very sweet of her to do so. Lucky i heard her call, or else we wouldnt had meet today. we talked about some things and this and that. Sometime i felt as if i'm out of words like i dont even know what should i talked about, and there are times when i get so hyper i can talk without taking a second to breath. who am i really, ..

I contact some people, to ask about the registration and i thank God that someone is willing to help. His willing to check through my work before i submitted it. Thanks ! :) it's a relief. 

I was having trouble with fear last few days. but God helped me overcome, we can never escape the life of many challenges and problems. When problems approach, what kind of attitude we used to welcome it? Some choose to give up, they thought they couldn't get through it. But some believes that, everything happens for a reason and decide to take the pain.

I guess everyone knows that, No pain no Gain. if we don't have all these problems and challenges in life, we'll never grow. So, im thinking at this very moment.. maybe this very moment is also what has been planned, it was planned that today i would sit here in Jolibee blogging and doing some other things.  Do you believe that everything happens for a reason ? Do you believe that even by you sitting there right now was meant to be?

Our life, it's been perfectly planned. My past, regard the bad and the goood ... everything was meant to be and if my past didnt happened that way, i wouldnt be sitting here. or even met the new smiles of life - The wonderful brother and sister in Christ. 

well, not only that... Life hasn't stop, and it's also said that life's definitely not a destination so where i am now is just part of my journey... part of my life.

who knows what's my next journey would bring me and what new smiles will i met in my life. so, i guess even today or tomorrow ... when bad times, challenge visits us .. maybe we should take it in a good way and settle them with the right attitude. so, does that mean i dont have to worry about tomorrow just live today to my fullest ?  ... "still thinking about that part"

im still wondering about my life, what kind of life God has given me. (;

actually after few days, a very special friend of mine is having his birthday. i planned for his birthday few months or even last year. i did, and really wanted to celebrate his birthday for him. But it's just so sad that i dont think i could do it for him. because my nights very almost fully booked. i felt so bad, and upset .. sighs*

This year has been great, not only i get to know more friends.. i think it's really a blessed year . i hope and pray that 2011 will be better. :)

" Love till it hurts so it'll hurts no more"

so sick !

hey readers,

its so sad that i get so sick . 

" i miss being sick after not being sick for so long " is what i said when i get got a lil sore throat and assumed it'll recover in no time. but what was unexpected was the night when i got weaker.

Last few nights , i got really weak and sick . trying to overcome being HOT and COLD ! i was shivering cold but also having high fever as well. having sore throat, flu and also cough . Yesterday was worst , silly me was letting the fever burning me for more than 6 hours until my ears was slightly blocked, ( couldnt hear properly ) and in the night ! my tongue lost its ability to do its work . the left over food was stuck on my tongue and it didnt digest .. i was like shock how ill i became .

but i felt better today , i ate panadol after every 4 hours to avoid the fever to return , i drank cough syrup also every four hours . i felt like i might overdose .

its not fun being sick at all because i couldnt join much activities !

i missed CG last night and maybe i might miss hiking later with sis .

but also thank to everyone for their prayers :)

i know i'll get well soon.

love, ruiyee

memories fading ,

Barney stinson is Awesome , thats where i picked up the word 'awesome' and constantly applying it resulted nicknames both for me and my bestie syasa as 'miss awesome' we had a hand gesture as well , and reminds me times when people hand out the awesome gesture when they see us .

I missed the time where i spend most of my days waiting as the time reaches 5.15pm , 6.15pm , 7.15pm . as we line ourself up for the scheduled classes every day , we wonders ourselves when any familiar member didnt come , its like a family thing that we do together .

you 'll guarantee to walk back home w packets of smiles and laughter back home , your always been welcome with SMILES !

to me , its like a candy world for a kidd . with candy coaster rides and .. - its just a wonderland . a place where , almost everyone dreamt of having ' to me ' its like ...

its suppose to be sad because that place is making some changes ! theyre going to tear up the place , that contained so much memories to me . every spot holds various moments , and soon it'll turn to an empty place .

' do not hold on to your past , our eyes are made in front to look forward and not backwards '

' just be thankful because you had it before , better than you having nothing at all'

smile ,
love ruiyee

the ' Great night

silent night , :)

little Girl had a Great time last night , more people !! know what , its awesome hanging out w loads of smiles .

the smiles were , sister yanshiang , brother Jones , Andy , CG , sister Alyssa and her sis , sister wendy and her brother ! Normally its just four of us after yF , but last night was merrier , and i loike it . Its FUN ! we went to Mamih , and i had teh tarik india !! :3

i spent my day at home w my tv ! back to the old routine , :D im looking for a JOB ! anyone that needs your laundry done , ?

Hey , the night was Great . I never hung out w sister alyssa , her sister and wendy . So , i think its cool that people starting to know more about people . It was the first hangout i had after i returned from somewhere , the feeling remains 'awesome'

i cant wait for Christmas and do my sharing w new faces , im going to be LOUD ! :D

also thanks a million both sister yanshiang and brother Jones for the prayer ,really needed it.

Nights all ,* have a blessed night .

Love, ruiyee

22th sept

; breathless !

you know , when you get off a plane and you'll get to see local people there just next to the plane's door - standing by . I went to phils first and the filipino were there , next hongkong , then phils again ! and this time , my very first time ( i think ) to get off a plane and see local bruneians , im actually very happy that im back home atlast and the fact that these local standing there , reminding that im not dreaming .

Met John and lyza !

out of the arriving hall , i saw john ray standing outside . What a surprise , after that came lyza asking me about my trip and suggested i should visit cebu . - yeaa ' haha why not ? (:

about my trip

i need to be a good girl someday , sitting down w my new lappy (if i got one) and start writing all about my trip ! (:

im really exhausted coming back from here and there , i didnt enjoy the taste of it and maybe i would be staying for couple of months here , altho i got another place to visit next month . considering , maybe i might not go .

love

my favourite topic of all . Love , (:

oh probs -error-
*to be continued

God , my everything.
thank God that im back in whole , love Him always.

till next tyme,
xoxo'r

12th and 13th sept

12th sept 2010

heyys ,

currently at hongkong airport , waiting for the ferry as we'll be heading to Guangzhou next .

last night , went to brunei airport at 12am , we waited few hours till 2.25 am our first flight to manila . there were lots of people with us , guess theyre doing back on holiday (: the flight was around two hours , we reach manila at 4+ in the morning . GUYS , insider tips; dont try the dimsum at the airport . you might stare at it and wonders is that food sickk . haha , anyways we then had our flight 7+ am , reaching hongkong at 10+ am and now we're waiting for the ferry at 12+ . reaching the desire destination.

No more transit , thank God !

we sat the cebu pacific , this is the 3rd time I ever travelled. word is I went to kuala lumpur once when I was 2 years young , 2nd trip was to tianjing - beijing . And now , experiencing the 3rd trip to phils-hongkong-guangzhou ( china )

i didnt had much last night, and I felt dizzy at my first flight . I figured it might be because im hungry but after I had a meal , I had a worst encounter during the second flight . I felt my jaws and neck vibrating and I thought I was going to faint , puke or something . But then I googled , someone had mutual experience about cebu pacific airline so I guess im rated normal again. Pheew '

Ohh , another thing . Hongkong toilet in the airport lawa cam toilet 5star hotel sja . But haha , guess they dont use water to wash their back because there were only provided tissue.

Tried hongkong porridge, so different . Its light, smooth, many ingredients ( not very exp ) hey, phils jolibee chicken why saltier than brunei ? Hahaha .


Oh, they got that drinking thingy . I saw these at china , hongkong , phils . Wonders why brunei nada ?

I got some picture taken , I did something bad . I lied -.-' so bad .


I miss brunei
And my bro and sis.

Thank God for all the safe flight, pray for journey mercy pls. <3

Love, ruiyee

13th sept 2010

Heyys ,

Currently at 'fou shan' apparently I found out that No! am not going to guangzhou . we stop by 'hu men' after hongkong . Stay there for a night and we took a few hours ride to 'guangzhou ' and I went mad shopping , they got this like ' pasar malam ' in the night where they sale all cheap cloths ! Fashion clothes , you buy bnd 20-35 but here , you get bnd 2-5 0nly ! Im like 0.0 ' haha.


This is the main reason why I blogged.

---
I just finished watching a short true story .

; because of LOVE .

When I watched , it was a man (lin) with a kiddish like person which I thought was his son . It was obvious that person had some sort of accident , and this was the real story ; that person was a cheerful and interesting person and enjoy adventures . unfortunately that person happen to face and accident and was paralyzed , and the doctor told lin that , he/she may never wakes up. It would be a miracle if he/she wakes up.

But lin said ' I just knew he/she 's going to wake up , and he dares to just pay for the medical fee . And indeed it was a miracle , after one month , he/she awakes but was stil paralyze . And lin still continues to lend money , taking 4 jobs to repay the medical fee , it's approximate 8 million a year !! ( I dont know is it in yuan or not )

They ask lin what keep him going , why he would sacrifice that much ? He replied ' because we were once in love '

This was when I realize , they're COUPLE ! -.-'

That man is english , but that women is chinese . He took care of her , pay he fees , accompany her to her treatments , patiently teaching her how to get back on foot .

She's so blessed to met a man whom truly cares for her , and willing to do so much .

The people were touch by their story and decided to give them free treatment afterwards . Thank God, may we all pray that she get well soon.

---

I miss yanshiang ! (:



Love God,
ruiyee

10th sept 2010 ' quarel w my dad .

heyy readers ,

today 10th sept 2010 , the muslims friends and stranger are celebrating their new year . (:

selamat hari raya aidilfitri , maaf zahir dan batin .

I personally think its a wonderful tradition when they apologize to each other about any past fault that may offended them without noticing or might hurt them. (: if the whole world cause be so forgiving , I think the world can really be a better place to be .

I had a trobled night last night, Dad and I had a short arguement . I couldnt stand him , I demanded him loudly ' shut up ' I saidd. after that , I grab my headphone and lay down on the other side of the bed. and I wonders deeply , why couldnt I forgive him , why had I react in such a violent way ? I dislike what I did , I dont want to be like this anymore . because this is not how I should behave , God will not be pleased .

I thought of God and I was out of words , I wanted to ask for forgiveness but do I deserve to be forgiven ? These thoughts wonders in my mind for quite a while , I turned to look at my parents I really wanted to cry because they didnt understand the childhood pain I held within. Dad will never understand anything I say , for the whole 9 years for what he had put me thru he never listen to my pain crying out to let him know his hurting me. When I tried to gain his understanding , I feel like stabbing a knife to my heart because his like a rock that I couldnt break thru.

Dad, it was never too pain to be hurt. I was never afraid to fight the war/ overcoming probs with you but you .. I dont know how you treated me that most of my primary school days after school I cry myself to my bedroom with a swollen fist trying to get the pain out of me. And kept asking God why I didnt have a older brother to protect me and be my shield. Maybe you wouldnt treat me this way if I werent the eldest child, maybe I would feel more of your love like my brother did, if im not the eldest child.

My childhood stories were more than that, as thats only 1/6 of the story.

---

after awhile , I went up to the computer and start typing how I felt , its about 4-5 pages muchh . and I left it there for my dad to read it the next morning. After finish writing at about 1.30am I sat at the living room alone and started praying. I hope he would read every single word and not just saving it into his pendrive for ent purpose. I just hope that he got his answer by the reason why I seldom talk to him and etc, I just want to avoid all arguements and may time heal us . Now just isnt the right time . My dad and I could never sit down and have a heart to heart conveRsation because his mind was never here with me.he never listen to my heart , he always have that little voice talking in his mind .

---

Just this morning , he talked to me in a pleasant tone . Few possibilities , he read or God's help and love. (:

Life was never easy for anyone , everyone . But we must always stay strong, have faith and never give up. Its not the end , (:

I wasnt too frustrated or depressed actually . I didnt have a bad day just because what happen to me and dad last night. im Still going to face the world , with this SMILE ! :D

Im still that little girl whose loves to make the world smile , so peoples . Dont let anything stop you from being who you really are. ( I hope I can overcome every problem and dont let anything steals my smile )

I lost my smile to the world once, but God found my smile and brought it back to me . (: thank you love, esp the wonderful sis and bros.

Smile always,

Always ,
xx' r

8th sept 2010 ' my day today ...

Greetings ,

Guess whatt , no dont Guess . :D currently w my brother's fiancee at salon , she wanted to get her hair trim or i think the word is 'straightened ' anyho , yes my Godbrother not my biological young brother .

i read some interesting article , some funny , lols , terrifying as well . there was an article about people who couldnt handle their emotions well , they cut themselve to feel good as they observe the blood coming from inside out , some continue the same practice from childhood , teenage till adult stage . some even burn cigarette and burn themselve, they said its a 'distraction' like the pain outside them so they could forget the pain inside for a while - so sad .

i think all they really need is love ' and more care . like take a long vacation , do something meaningful or keep themselve busy . while professional suggested , letting out , talk about it etc . im not aware of any friends of mine w such symptons but hopefully no ' (:

A Guy commented that ' i like Girls who are comfortable w themselves not necessary w loads of make up so i wont be shock when i woke up the next morning on bed w her ' - if you know what he meant :D

pink panther - (: i dreamt he had the same ringtone as i have . but just in my dream , (:

sadness ' im really broke ! can i abandon my hp ? hope so , cause i just reload 2 nights ago as today i left 1.80 after calling my brother and also other than that , receiving calls and msg as if im online chatting.

I want to care for you '

waiting for sis's call just haha .. hope she remembers and pray that she'll have a fine evening . Amen !

called brother kyz just now , sigh its just heartbreaking to know his handling so much probs, we should all appreciate and be thankful towards one another . I hope bro kyz will overcome his prob and may he be surrounded by friends who really cares and love him . I wouldnt like to know that his hurting again inside , if I got a car maybe i'll get to hangout w him and the boys during noon tyme. see them dance dance dance ! (:
Cheer up kyz, you know that there's always us in this whole wide world that cares truly for you ,so would you smile for us and dont be sad for them (:

Coutdown , no jokes but 1+ hours to go ! Time passed real fast, cherish and grab as many smiles you can.

' wondering hows my brother and sisters doing, missed em all.

Have a blessed day guys , dont forget to say your prayer tonight before you go to sleep and simply just thank that your breathing normally w/o any injuries , well if you do have some injuries just thank that you didnt lose any part of your bodies , if you did then just thank that your still alive. - sarcasms.

(kiddings)

Lovemuch, rui.

8th sept 2010

heyys lovely bunnies ,

what a lovely dayy yes ? well i noticed the rain but i didnt look out for any rainbows , have you ?

my days which was going to be boring turn out great , thanks to my awesome pop ! ( My God for the answered prayers. )i get to spend quality time with my lovely sister , we went to the park , had dinner at kiulap and shopping ! I found the summer cap i always wanted and sis brought it for me , thanks ! :D

she's not feeling well , so guys please pray for her so that she'll get well really really soon. thanks to all beforehand . (:

just want you to know , im going to phils - hongkong - china this sunday (12th) back on tues (21st) hopefully i could get back in time for badminton , :D remind me please on fri that i need to give airasia a call .

the power of prayer ; the power of faith ; the power of love .

everyone should learn to love and care one another , really ! take down your pride and be more self less , say and express the love you held inside . try spending a day provide-ing everyone w tons of tons of love . start ' make a difference , as the world will be a better place to be when its full of tender love and care . its never too late if you start now .

ohh ohh , I got an idea , why dont you start by giving extra more smile in a day . but remember to smile from your heart otherwise it'll be kinda awkward , hehe .

i would love to see , know you do it . (:

Nyts earthlings , I love you all .

xx' r
( I love my God . )

boredd ; plans .

heyys ! :D

dead bored much here !
Plans , sure do needs to pray about it . I just realize that all the plans that i planned beforehand all turn out negative-ly so word of advice ; whatever you want to do later , tommorrow , or future matter just pray for God's blessing and guidance .

didnt managed to hangout w faustina , couldnt meet kyz at gadong too . (: imma pray for all of my plans next tyme if i could remember . :D

not that im sad about it, just need to take it w the right attitude and learn from my mistake . (: so my dearest beloved God, i will have loads to pray about . - kiddings .

talk about ,
i hope i could train myself to be a person with a calm mind , try to control myself . im so indecisive , i wanna be both . :D

I accidently drop brad and he fell unto the floor , so heartbreaking sad but thank God he didnt leave any scars . and hope that his eyes works well as usual .

im going to read some books later . then game game perhaps .

have a blessed day all, and ohh i missed my sister . hope she s doing fine , she didnt reply my text maybe she s just tired and fall asleep . (: rest well.

6th sept 2010 ' birthdays,

im so not planning to sleep ! i got a date later , with faustina my laolao ( oldold ) friend . we known each other since primary 5 , i sat beside her at the very first day when school starts and man ! was i afraidd. haha, its been MONTHS ! since we last met , reason to meet her later was all because shes going china soon for 2 months training . so yeaa ' guess she missed me or just want to see how fat i've grown. :D

i might be meeting w brother kyz as well . sure do missed that dude ! (:

birthdays !

my birthday is like two months away , i always got a thing for birthdays i mean to me its special . i even booked a flight to kuala lumpur on october just for her birthday but sad news arrive ( forget it ) I remember my very young birthday , was i eight or nine . i stayed up the whole night just by thinking what my mom would prepare for my birthday. i often wonders bout how would my 18th birthday turns out to be , guess im still the eight year old girl . (:

i just hoped and pray it'll be one fine day I could spend w my every smile. (:

I would hope that i'd be a child forever but we all need to grow up and ...

12th sept '
i still couldnt really believe im going oversea w my auntie whose trying to somehow ruiN my life --' , pray that i'd be fine. and despite my poor-ness , please someone gives my some resources !

i dont want you to leave . wants you to stay.

xx ' r

6th september 2010

heyys ! :D

i need improvements , esp my english vocab , grammar , and more ! im always like ' what does ... means ? ' and sis yanshiang once expressed how she wished to keep a dictionary in the car for me :D i just lols !

weee* went to church just now, uncle sent me home andd sis yanshiang fetch me for dinner ! love much w sis iting in car. we went to seri and window shopping at soon lee, me w my camcorder. caught bro lawrence, james, sister cassendra too. ( not positive w the spelling ) forgive me. x)

lesson ; one shall not abase the other, or cause them to be abashed.

opps , busy at the moment . me update soon kays.

meeting faustina tomorrow and kyz.

I own a new BESTFRIEND!
; aree summit
funny thing ; as we just known each other like 30minutes only! may God bless our friendship !

I hearts my BROTHER !
faisul kah namanya :P
; pesal.
( hearts that dude )

random much, wave to my lovely sister yanshiang. Flying love sent*

love much,
xx' r

4th sept 2010'chair-ish wood eel ape ! ( cherish what you have )

heyys! :D

im back at home now, with my new gadget ' brad ' . his quite small, light but could come in pretty useful. brad and i are going to do loads of recording, hopefully friends dont mind (: cause most people dont like to be on screen ( be pictured ) anyhow, brad and i would try to work on that. forgive us x)

brad is RED ! and so is both my handphone and PSP. ermm, i didnt name my phone and psp ' maybe because they were given as gift but i adopted brad w the most of my bank account. May he be my 2010s advance self given birthday gift ! x)

i found him at kiulapp, this guy recomended him to us and he was placed on my hand for the very first time like a first born child. ( over described ) i was really worried at first, i went to several hospital and mom brought me to the one at kiulapp. I didnt have the guts to went in alone, as doubt took over and i was really worried to handpick the wrong baby. but after i checked him out, his good to go. decided to bring this baby home. (:

'bradd' a.k.a. 'babyred' - yes i cherish everything that i owned and handle w care despite my uncareful nature and slighty rude character still i take great care for what i hold dear in my heart. :D babyred.

Okays ! because of it, my cash are running to its end. but managed to get a new dvd back to watchh. (:

'16 wishes'

a story about a teenage girl whom had 16 wishes written ever since she was eightt. so basically, through the hard times she encounter since 8 she wishes the changes when she reached age 16 and expected the best 16th birthday ever recorded in the 16th birthday history. A magical being gaved her 16 candles and her wishes will come true as she blow off any number candle correspond to her birthday wish list. (:

She was about to have the worst birthday ever as her morning was greet by her parents when thats what she dislike most. competing with her rival and cause her to not realize how much she left her best friend, jay behind the corner.

Till one wish came true and she hoped that she didnt wished for that because things turned out exactly how she wanted, but thats not what she really hoped for when families do as she hoped and realize she's not even ready for it, friends who stop side-ing her because things have change and she found out that she lost something precious that was already given yet not realized.

andd it caught me thinking. remember I used to say ' everything happens for a reason, nothing is a coincidence ' (: I guess so yeaa. and there's a time for everything.

we always always and never fails to concentrate more and in surrending effort to achieve the things we wanted most. and we always forgot to just look beside us and realize how blessed we are. so my dearest friend or whoever you may be, cherish everything that you have now and simply just be thankful to people who show kindness and love to you.

Thou people in movies always get a second chance to start thing over again, but we dont really have that much here.

have a blessed day to all ! (:

till next time,
xoxo' r

encouragement? :D

heyys ! :D

currently at Gadong, centerpoint lodge.
with my three brothers, waiting for our mother.

I told youu im getting a camcorder ryte. and so here i am, few minutes away to get myself one. actually by my own money which i saved up while working, yeaa' too little ! haha, cause nothing is left at my bank account ! cambanar.

think !
are encouragement always healthy ? It a source of building up ones confident, also a kind of appreciation, acknowledgement, a type of praise as well. yeaa'

haha. I dont like too much encouraging words, cause the impact is ... ( weird ) i believe, there a bad side of being encouraged. well, you can look at the bright side but im still in process of taking encouraging words in appropriate way. I admit, i dont know how to handle it. youuu, dont catch me right ? doubt it.

oh ermm. got to go, adopt my baby camcorder. Come to ...

Thanks for reading.
xx' r

3th sept 2010 ' to brother (kyzkizuya)

heyys again! :0

second post of the night.

who said i hate reading, i mean do your best to attract me. :D nahh' just jokingg.

Broken hearted.

As a friend, as a sister. I felt pretty much broken hearted, as i assume that he thought less of me due to his low respond towards my text but it proves me wrong when i heard his pain and asking about me in his blog.

I know i could do more than just this, and deep down i said ' bro, if i were there with you ' i really wanted to be there with him, i know his having so much trobles but why i didnt organize some time for this brother. His just a normal dude, but his going through more than he could take. But i would pray that God will give him strength to overcome all his pain. I wonders, is this the calling for me since i always wanted to help and show love to anyone who needed it.

whats hindering me from fullfilling the emptiness and healing the swollen injuries?

where am i? and where's my mind, why am i not doing much. My apologize to my most beloved brother, some day i'll teach you a love that heals all pain. A love that had made me who i am, the smile you always known of. and someday, bro you'll be like me even better than me.

Always when you needed someone to talk to, im all ears.

this is for you - brother kyz.

Pray that a wonderful love will enter your life and that you'll have everlasting joy.

xx' r

3th sept 2010 ' camcorder me!

heyys ! :D

im inspired,
noticed how i heart writing with small words. :D I LOVE I LOVE ! lols.

Its 2.57am now, and by the time i finished blogging- say twenty minutes? (: just came back from care group, thursday are the reason why i couldnt join other activities.
ohh, thanks to sister geraldine for picking and sending me. :)

i came across a blog just now while waiting for sister geraldine to pick me up and i was inspired. :D his blogg, so true about himself' honest like he show all his colours regardless of good and bad. To him, he accepted em all and he asked his friends ' have you ' (:

totally random but im a lucky kidd.

; cause i sleep in a single bed, where i got 3 blankets, 2 pillows, 3 animals ( toy pillow ) '2009 birthday gift - sheep from my bestcouple, cow from my good old pal, monkey from china. :D

im having/buying camcorder laters ! I always wanted a dslr camera, you know just whenever I come across pictures of smiles and memories just caught me taking the same purpose ' memories of smiles ' i've been aiming a 'nikon D5000 ' for quite sometime now. But out of the blue, I decided to land on a camcorder. It happens just this monday when mom came home with some cash to upgrade the psp we just got. Ohh ' I love harvest moon ! (: just in 4 days, im at year 2 and already married to the same girl I married 5 years ago! Yeaa' the old version when we used to play at playstation one. Anyway, (: we got two dvds ' camp rock - the final jam & step up 3 ' how coincidence that both movies touches some awesome uses of a camcorder. And it was just last saturday when I asked sis yanshiang if the options were to fall upon her which would she chooses. yeaa' she answeredd ' video cam '

Guess I really love the idea that I would be able to record happy moments we all had together. As I guarantee you, someday you'll definitely hope that we could record more of these moments, memories and events :d . A footage maybe? Hehehe' pray that i'll be satisfy for what will be bought afterward, may it be cheap, yet good function, picture quality.

My lovely people, get ready! Im going to make that laughter be heard again in few years time. Maybe months, hehehe.

One thing is for sure, submit your worries and problems upon His hand and He'll make all thing awesome. Just like I did, I may be a kid with no high education or qualification, but I have faith. In God's will, its been rated ' extremly awesome ' ! :d

Twenty minutes up ! Until next time,

xoxo' r

2nd sept 2010' surreder to l.o.v.e

heyys ! :D

i haven been insomnia for quite some time, until last month when some undescribeable excitement swallowed me up and ive been having sleepless night till now. If your awake at 3am wondering if everyone's a sleep, one thing for sure is that im still awake psp-ing and could only sleep after 4.30am.

okay ! heart talk , last month i was like all eyes over a dude. but now' i had my both hands in the air - surrending.
Geez' feel like keeping love in a distance. I'd love to just be on the beachside waiting for him to come, not going to get myself into muds.

hundreds apologies to both syasa and via. That i wasnt able to hangout tonight due to my personal weekly meeting w ...
Forgive me, guess we'll be meeting after 21st sept.

going off next week! To phils, hongkong, guangzhou. if i was given a second chance to decide, I would definitely pick the other option. Would rather stay here w my brothers and sis yanshiang' reason - its awesomer :D

Getting a vidcam soon. Cheers ! Gonna enjoy to the max max max max!

Wave to you, howve you been. I missed you and your smile.


tilll next time,
xoxo' r

29th August 2010 ' heartbrokened- slightly

hey readers, (:

honestly, i dislike having unnessary feelings and worries. I mean who does, and a big sigh ! how i wishh i could control myself and vanish these feelings that cause me second thoughts and heart aches.

Something is missing, changed, replaced, ignored.

I guess, i had another lesson learnt. But it came w a knock on my head. ' never picture your future w what you had now- esp friends ' now pops, that sad. When will it stopped, so you know we can stop searching for a place to rest. Guess, its very true when they say ' life is a journey, not a destination ' .

'what i have now, doesnt represent its what i own - even friends cause they'll be a time where we all had to move on once we complete our role there. Like a petrol station, you know? When you just stop by get to be filled up and it kept you going, continue-ing your next journey. Just like us, when we're done here. Its meant for others to enter and receive similar service but in a different stage.

I know whats keeping me, what made wants to stay, but pop i thought its a good thing but why it changes now? I dont want to walk out of that door and ..... But i guess i could never fight against your will.

Few years ago, this words came to me. ' one will never know how much you did for them ' - its true now that I recall. Because they just receive, they didnt get to see the sweat, heart. Guess, I had to be more careful (: might as well record as much as I could about what others did for me. So I wouldnt be such unthankful kind, just by a thank and forgot it in 3 days. :D

I'll say ' (:

I dont know, tell me pops. If I was the cause. I just hope smile again. (:

Pray that it'll be fine and things could drop down to how it used to be. Either way, have a great journey to all.

Do know that ' Good things comes from above, and bad does not. Whenever you own unpleasant feeling about some situation or people. Think deep about it, those feeling you had are not from the righteous one and if you follow and embrace it. You'll end up falling into the evil trap because they gave you such feeling and cause you to lose alot of things. (: precious one. ( Like how I lost mine. ) So dear friends, think about it and do what God would want us to do as I said judgement? Ignorance? And etc. Dude, thats not from the bright one. (:

Thanks for being here once, altho its 'ever' not thanks for being here till the end'

Confession of a slighty broken hearted young lady.

Until next time.
Xoxo'r

crazy l.o.v.e.

love,

the very first 5 things.

'you made me smile for no reason,
'you made me smile just by seeing you smile,
'you made myheart feels so alive whenever your near,
'your smile for me could brighten my worst day,
'i just find you very adorable when you talks about yourself.

Most of all, you made me wanna be a better person. Thanks love.

Praying that, you would too. (:


love from miss awesome.

26th August 2010' baby fever

heyys.

I miss being kid, altho yes ! Im coming 18 in approximate 3 month time, but in all my brothers and sister's heart im still a kidd. (: actually, i dontmind being like a kidd. Instead, i enjoyed it because i get to do what i like to do, express and ask silly question sometime without thinking twice. :D

dont you just miss being young again? yeaa' you look so childish back then, but yet life was better when you get to have things you wanted, you've been protected, adored by your cute innocent face and they just love to do things just to see you smile.

I used to know a lot of things and never would i deny the fact that ' the more you know, the more complicated you are' its true you know. we are growing every single day and the more we know about life, the people and etc. I ever wanted to understand everything about life, the way human react but now I think I wouldnt wanted to know so much because I dont think I could take that much. Just may God gives me those understanding where I could help people through their hardtimes and etc.

Big people think more than twice. They consider, concern, caution alot alot of thing when they could just do it. When we're young we do everything we wanted to do, cause we're not consious and concern about other's thoughts. Therefore, we ask we do we act ' annoyingly but cute at times.

I may not make any sense but I just think like come on, be yourself! Dontmind what others may think of you, for you do not live to please them. Enjoy life, laugh out loud when you feel like it. Dont laugh half way just because someone find you overeacting and gave you an unpleasant look ' dude, I laugh when im happy, Im sad when feel down, I cry when I couldnt take it.
'always be true to yourself - r '

Anyways, yeaa' thats what im trying to do. I am me, dont like me? Get a life (: i'll love those who loves me.

Did I get off topic? Oops, but hmmm. Yeaa, I didnt really miss being kid, but I want to be like a kid.( Am I drunk? ) Cause its fun, being adult is so... Old fashion. HAHA'

Today, thank God that He answered my prayer. (: out w sis again. Waving to other bro and sis, I miss you all ! Hangout more, yes?

LoveGodAlwaysAndForever.
Until next time'
Xoxo-r

24th August 2010' brother D's bday

smile love;

i feel like saying ' thou shall not over do' cause YES! i have a feeling that i might over do it. Its a 'might' .

Last night was a blast, we made a surpise for our brother Dguyzz. And thank to all whom joined us! There's brother weesoon, kingyu, cheegit, george, sister maggie, geri, iting, yanshiang and pastor tony as well. You can review some pics from facebook. (; mostly thanks to sister yanshiang and brother cheegit for the rides. Thank God everything was going well.
I sing (:

...

Its so important that we always have faith to our God.
These past few events, i come to realize how important prayers are now. And i hope you do too, have you ever wonders about where you'll be going after life. Everyone knows that we'll die someday, well yes but maybe people couldnt bother much about it because they are too busy w the life they have now. But i hope someday, you'll come to realize the importants of seeking the truth of life. (:

have a blessed day everyone.
Smile always and treat others w a loving heart.

Until next time.
Xoxo'r

23th August 2010.

heyys (:

do always know one very-the-most important thing ; trust God till the end. (:

thats the best ultimate weapon of all, put your trust in Him and no' he would never fails you. I know cause i tried (;

yes, at times i was trobled' confused' depress' stress and all the negative-ness you have in your mind. we all gone through those, i mean who doesnt right but what amazing is the outcome of having faith in God and let him take the wheel. He'll take you to where your suppose to be.

I enjoyed the night very much, thanks to sister geri, maggie, iting, brother king yu, andy, wee son and that guy. It was really a great night, and i enjoy the fellowship as i thank God for he brought you all into my life.

Sweet love california, (: this guy, sweeet to the rooftop. He really can get me glowing. Winks'

days has been fine, couldnt ask for more. hope tonight will be to its maximum. Love God, the awesome of the awesome.


I miss chuck from gossip girl, barney from himym, more series please.

Until next time,
xoxo' r

22th August 2010' myheart given to you.

ohmeGee'

dearloverboy,
today, im quite silly - tell you whyy.

; realise last night why i got so emotional about the must-give-it-to-you thingy.

because, its represent my heart and my care.

and whats silly is, i placed it in somewhere safe but the thought of someone might find it special and took it out kept me awake for 2-3 times because im afraid they might drop it.

and im also afraid that even i kept you safe there, i worries they would be a mini earthquake that cause it to fall. i didn't sleep peacefully worrying about that thing.

Sillymuch, i know. I sound like an emotional bunny. :3 pathetic yes or no. Idontmind cause it's true i do care.

Im going off later, out maybe as usual- sunday, its a lifestyle my dear. hope greenday will be a lovely day, i have a feeling ; a feeling that makes me wants to draw a line after greenday. Just hope i would know how he feel.

...

Friends scares me a lot, like a lot a lot. Either the rapid change of personality or its because i sense the inner thought that really kinda freak me out. Love, dontfreak me out. Just stop when you know its not a good thing to hold on, most of all dont scare me cause i think you are now. Come back, (:

..

I really like the quote-
; if you cant handle me at my worst,then you dont deserve me at my best. I got this from sis fateen's fb profile, sorry w/o permission.

Its a really meaningful quote that I just want to share. You know what it means, I dont need to further explain.

...

You know what's scary ? Its not the knife nor gun ; it's the person holding it. Human heart' the thoughts from human mind. I guess. When I was young, I really wanted to have the ability to read thoughts and wonders did God actually give someone such ability but the answer is 'no' if a person were to be gifted in such a way, I think they wouldnt be able to handle it emotionally cause your heart feels like doing suicide itself when you know someone's thought but they talked differently due to the intention they might not even realise. Creeepy!

...

Did I talk to much? Talk garfield day or bat day? Either day, immmma do the old school skill again.

...
May everyone have a blessed day, im still a lil unwell so forgive any of my inappropriate behavior that you may detect. (: pray for love too and friendship.

Until next time,
Xoxo'r

22th August 2010

heyy guys.

For the very first time, i dare to really admit im in love. I feel like saying my heart is 'SOLD' to him already. Altho yes im in a situation where i do not know how he thinks or feel about me.

Complaining ; feelings are boringg, they make you go up and down for no reason, sometime even for silly reason.

ahhh. tell me how you feel already, pops i just dont want to make guesses anymore. before i tries something really silly please, take this feeling away !

19th August 2010

Hey sugarbabies,

I think im really in love. <3 - am I ? It's just so wonderful. I smiled for no reason, is this God's love? ; I think it's amazing.

I'm planning to do something different. I never really done it before, all I have is ' an idea ' locate inside my mind and i'm going to make it happen. Believe me, I am so bad at handicraft and stuff- excluding drawing ofcourse. But I have a heart' ( stay tune for monday's post, for I will post what i've achieved ) - its going to be awesome.

...

A friend borrowed me his pd, he downloaded some movie. - so sweet that its more than one, thanks to that person because for the meantime I wont bored till rot. :3
And one of the movie was guratee ! I laugh out loud. :D


...

Sister yanshiang's brother and sister in law is coming to Brunei which also means less hanging out. I know right' well its okay. I could still bare it. :) with a big smile.

...

When your doing something for someone special, just by having the thoughts of it can actually fill your face with tons of smiles. - true story ( HAHA ) Cause its kinda like what happen to me and no' im not telling who he is.

...

Do you ever thought of why people always hang out with you? Well, I do... At times, esp when silent took over our converstation or I just came from a great time ; I would thought hey, why do they want to hang out w me. Am I weird ? Haha.

...

Nowadays, I realize im loud ( in a bad way ) like loud loud. When I got excited, I couldnt stop blah blah blahh. And I get all hyper and continue talking. I then take a second to remind myself ' im coming 18, stop acting like im 8 ' but then that's me what. That loud kidd' is me. Thats who I am. :) ; its take it or leave it. <3


...

I hope it's going to turn out awesome. In God's will and blessing.

Until next time
Xoxo-r

19th August 2010 ' ifound a sister.

Hey lovers ;

Today, i had the most unforgetful moment of the year. Thank to my angel sent sister yanshiang for that everything.

; pretty boy' you might never notice but your a very lucky dude. To have friends doing all these, that's love my friend. (: hope you receive our love on xx.xx.xxxx. (: much love.

2010 ; Thank you God and lovely angels - ive met a lovely lady of my life. And she never fails to amazed me at times by her wonderness. :3 'she's indeed a rare species, and YES ! The last species on planet earth is mine' Praise the Lord for this delivery. :d

She showed me how awesome friends could be, she comfort me at times when am trobled. She show me that its alright to open up and talk my heart out :3 - True story.
She never shove me away, I could always freely talk about my concern towads this that even boy problem and she's always got the best answer to make me feeel awesome (better). She's such a lovely friend, I wonders if she's the angel sent from above for me. :3

She's more than just a friend, She's more than just a BEST friend ; she's my sister - Someone I thanked God for, Someone I dont want to lose.

Dear God,
Have I ever asked for an angel? I do hope You did not sent your angel to the wrong address. (: thank you for sending her to my life. For the past weeks, months - my day had become more awesomer ; all thanks to youu and your angel.
She's more than I could ask for. Thank you so much. My best 2010 gift ever, and I want to keep it till the rest of my life. :) that guy would be my second best gift. 'wink ; I want him as my birthday present. - baby me. ;3

Dear yanshiang,
Thankyou for everything that you've done for me. Thank you for all the love you have for me, thank you for all the care. Thanks for being such an awesome suporter, thanks for being here when I needed someone. Thank you for letting me into your life. Your amazing, simply awesome-ly Awesome.
Honestly, your more than I could ever ask for. You've brighten part of my life. :3 your someone I wouldnt wanna lose. Love you much.

My name is lim ruiyee. Im coming 18, I love my God and im a kid with a blessed sister.

Thanks for reading.
xoxo'r

18th August 2010 ' love season

Hey lover duckies. :3

Are we experiencing love season in Brunei now ? - no? Then why in the beautiful world am i in love with this guy now?

I couldnt sleep, so i decided to get some ideas for next week and good grace cause i now have more romantic idea for my lover boy. Thing is - i dont know i dont know how he feel for me. Sad much, i know right.

But lovely enough. Ask me why- but I couldnt provide you a satisfied answer. (: but to someone I love, gosh I really do wants to do all those special things for him to let him know how special he is for me. :3

I sound cheesy? Thats bcause I love cheese, you silly.

About that guy? - his just this simple guy, nothing much but I like him for who he is.
sadly but I had to be honest and announce. I still dont know how he feels towards me. God bless he feels the same way too.

Today, I mean last night. Thank yanshiang and bro cheegit for the rides. Its a battle field, its a struggling season you know. Many people are facing trobles, dont give up soldiers ! You can overcome it.

And october is a month without both yanshiang and rui at the same time. Im travelling on 8th to 17th, while she is 17th to 30th. God keep me strong from not missing her smile too much. And most of all, I love november. My birthday. Awwww. Any surprises? No ah? 'cries- haha.

Until next time.
(Hope I could blog about knowing his feeling soon too)
Xoxo'r
Godblessall.

Yes, im a sweet creature. ;3