14th Dec 2013

Just another thought for the day, i would like to thank the Almighty for always being there for me. nowadays, everything seems to be more stable, my heart felt calmer but then worried at the same time perhaps im just havingg trauma. but im all shield (hopefully) that no matter what happens, i would still accept it and move on. by moving on, im referring to lose all contact because i wouldnt be able to accept the fact that i lost the person i love unless i lie to myself that you never really existed. :') 

the choice of life. 

honestly, i sense something bad. recently, my dad is not at his best condition. he keep saying that he got things to discuss with me, he keep saying that he felt exhausted and tired. i know its not a good sign. just keep praying that he will stay strong. :'( 

but daddy's intention was for me to have a job. a stable job, a stable pay and for him he believed that it would lead me to a stable life. but im sure that's not the life that i am looking forward to, because my heart burns for achievements that i am able to achieve with my hands. the ideas and growth that i am able to shower in my company that i am building is what's getting my attention. i desire freedom, i desire my space to do whatever i want to. _ so sorry daddy, at this moment. im not agreeing to your plan. parents are the best because they care and they worries their children's future but being worried doesnt help. supports and encouragements would help alot, and you will be amazed what we (children) can do. things that you never imagined from us, just when you allow us to shine on our own. :)

_relationship

its killing me alive but im glad that i am breathing now, everything seems to be alright but im still worried, i need an assurance. till he gives me the assurance that history will not repeat itself and that heart will be then be faithful for me. ;) but .. im not sure actually what i really want. 😔 we both have our family problems, just hope that we could be one and share our family problems together. _yesterday was our 2nd year anniversary, im just glad we are still counting. 

dear baby, i know your having trobles at heart. but know that i am always here, just like i said i would for the past 2 years and it will still be the same. i do love you still. :') 

truly yours,

diqtasmers