Christmas is here! :)

Merry Christmas to everyone! :)
Time flies, another Christmas has come.. i hardly recalls what i did last year, but im pretty sure i was working that time, and did attend some activities. Just some,.. :) but this year, i guess i am not attending any.. * complicated * :')

But anyways , i prayed for an amazing Christmas celebration to those whose celebrating. :) Joy to the world! :) May God Bless us all! :)

november left, ;)

' i somehow wonders what's the next november is going to be like. I wonders about what my life is going to be like after this, would i be living the life that i always dreamed of? Or i'd still be the same? Or it'd be worst? People says that the future is in our hands, cause we are the one who choose what we want, we are the one who decides and we can change our destiny.

Sometimes i hate how emotions works, and it sucks sometimes when i don't know how to handle my own emotions and screw everything up. And sometimes, i hate the way i am, and caught myself thinking that why am i like this? Cause sometimes it's just so inappropriate, but it's already a part of who i am. And it's up to ME to change, if i choose to change but i'm always afraid of changing, i'm afraid of 'changes' but at times, i just need to learn how to accept and let go.

Since when i became a turtle hiding inside a shell?
After asking myself, i guess it's because i dislike confrontation alot & i dislike people talking about things i don't want to talk about. I felt that people around me constantly tells me what is right and what is wrong but i'm just the type of person who never listens because i simply chooses and decides what i believes in and what i wanted for my life, sometimes the outcome wasn't too satisfying but then we just need to accept it & get along with it.

Perhaps , i made the choices that is quite unexpected and out of most people's expectation. That's when people couldn't digest it well & start giving out negative energies and pushes me away. In the end, this is just part of my journey in life.. & for other, it's just not really a problem actually cause it's not your problem - this is about me & my life. I guess what's important is that we cherish every moment possible & create magical moments as life has many unexpected events. We can never predict what's next and we can never be sure that we're gonna live long .. anything can happen in any moment in our life, unexpected even when we're not ready for it. (':

Truly yours,
ruiyee

November is leaving soon..

Dear readers,

November is leaving soon, I can somehow still recall some of the event that happened during last November. Just work and stress (: cause I was in total dilemma, now both the b**** and I arent working but good for him atleast his having a lot of interviews and at least he knows where's his o lvl cert, because yea, mine's lost. (:

Am I still considered as a human if I lost my olevel cert? I quite confident that I passed it to my dad. I didnt knew how important it was or I was just being care-less? But all in all, im just being here and trying to figure out what life truly means.

Im here getting frustrated abit because everyone, well not everyone but almost everyone nags! Asking me to get a job, but what's life? Suffer and die? Enjoy and die? Maybe it's about the afterlife, then what does this life meant cause most people ain care about anything but only to survive in this society, taking care of themselves.

Ohh daddy, his just too adorable. Such a patient guy, soft and just being very very patient but inside his very stressful, because he have to face his stupid sister (maybe she's an angel in his eye but for me - she's just controlling him) I mean come on, if u truly cares as u said u care for me? Then dont complain about something and said u'd help only if this and that. Go check the dictionary for what does 'unconditionally' means! Love unconditionally people, ! So sick ... Cause she's being annoying and dad starts to annoys me and I m totally annoyed -.-

So December is coming soon, yea Christmas (:
Again, trying to find the purpose of being alive. (: but ofcourse, im certain that we need to appreciate and be thankful that we're being alive and safe and peace but those people just give me second thought that life is like ... #whatever

___ only lagsana and cheeesecake can heal me now. (:

6 days ago on my birthday :D

` Could this be another boring ' Monday ' ?

6 days ago -

Spend my 20th Birthday with him` :) It was a lovely evening with Him @ Swensen. Just a very sweet & lovely dinner with him, tho we were both on our phone while dinner updating our instagram :D he bought me a new phone, which i loved. But he bought it few days before my birthday and i was quite funny. :)

Also thanks to all whom Inbox, Message, Facebook, IG, WhatsApp Me. really appreciate it :D

10th November 2012

Sometime i feel like my life is like a "Blank Page" 

Because i don't really know what to write about, in other words - too much =')

Dear November,

Thank you for a blessed month.

Turning 20 years old in few more days.

Your always always always in my Heart ! :')

i Love you <3 font="font">

always Faithful ..

November ! :)

November is finally here ! :)

Dear November, i do miss you ~ ! :) it's almost been a year .. and almost a year it is, that i've get to know this crazy guy who came into my life. :)
I guess, 365 days ago.. i was still working in Sunshine.. in dilemma whether should i be working with the other company or not ? babyboyy was with me wherever i go` he always bring me to wherever i want to. :) i missed him alot ! His now under other people's car so i wish & pray that he will be well treated. sorry for that i've abandon you` it was difficult for me too. :') Hope to get you back soon ! <3 p="p">
----

At this very moment, Life has been fine. i am still surviving in this world & thank God that i'm still alive & blessed. I'm almost 20 years old, and .. it's unbelievable ` cause i never really imagine myself being 20 & what's it's like to be 20 years old. :)

You know, i'd love a life where there's no worries & where everything is secure. :)
Now i felt kinda insecure due to some situation that's not totally stable yet, but i'm doing my best to sustain it. Really not much people know what in the world i am up to, except my family & my love ones. There's alot of people who doesn't 100% support what i do, but seriously` i am tired to confront all these thought that other people have because i am SO NOT going to live the way you simply want or thought would be the best for me` :)
is this Life ? maybe yes, maybe not but i believe and always have been believing that everything happens for a reason.

It was never really on my mind that today my life would be like this` :') life is totally unpredictable. :D


---

November. i really need a miracle :)
i pray that, it will turn out fine :) keep me strong ! :D


Loving you always, Hidayat Kms` <3 p="p">
truly yours,
ruiyee.

bad bad day`

I really hope that everyone will take good care of themselves.
Grandma came to visit me today, she turned old. Her body is so thin .. just like My other Grandmother who just passed away last year.. i guess, it's because it's been a long time since i visited her. I'm getting quite tired about my aunt upstair.. really really tired. until i couldn't stand but walk barefoot towards her when i see her stopping my grandma's car talking to her. She just couldn't stop caring about my problem.. She truly have some mental problem and .. i just don't know how to handle her well. talking to her seems to be pointless because she don't even know what is she talking about. I felt life became quite meaningless.

today is really a bad bad day for me. everything didn't turn out right` everything went so so wrong and i was unable to  handle my own emotions well` so everything just crashed really bad. i feel like running away, i felt like leaving but at the same time im attached to too many things that gives me the second thoughts.

i hardly recalls how i used to be, i totally forgot why do i react the way i react, how do i truly feeels. the past is somehow, dead to me because i couldn't remember much about my past. But ` it always seems to me that i am a much better person in the PAST` ? i dont even know what it means - maybe because people have been comparing the present me with the past me` i felt so confused that i don't even know how to be myself. because i don't think i know myself` who am i ?

i have one of the most perfect boyfriend ever, but maybe i accidentally turned him into a monster` or a bear (sounds better) it's nice to have found someone like him` being so comfortable with each other, but there's alot of obstacle ... eventho i love him very much :') i don't know what to hope for, but what i want is everlasting..

Perhaps i am lost. :)

Dear Readers,

It's been a long while since i've blogged.
I had never imagined that i would be where i am now.
Tho i always wonders, what is life all about ? :) We work hard, earn money & live our life and eventually everyone dies.

I guess because i worries about what tomorrow may brings :') which is something that i shouldn't be doing.. oh boy, :) One Question - what's the most important thing in my life? what are the principles that i hold on to, my integrity ..

Perhaps my post today clearly shows that i am quite lost. :)

to friends who went oversea to pursue their studies, be safe .. :)

itsruismers,

:)

Holding on to something on so tightly, where some / most people doesn't understands. 

Things that are important to certain people, but it may also seems to be nothing for other people. it is not possible for you to measure how important somethings are for some other people, as each of us have different perspective and understanding about life and the people around us.

Stubborn is ME :)

Dear Readers,


How have you been ?
2 days ago, i resigned from my Company. 6 months ago, a company that seems so desperate to have me, and now i just left them. Not because they were bad, the truth is i, myself is not good enough for them. It all came to the same problem that i have and yet not able to overcome :)


So 2 days ago, after observing the way my supervisor reacted and respond i somehow sense that.. it wont make any different whether i stay or leave. So, that afternoon.. i felt so much like just leave that place and never come back ! i told my dad about my decision and when my boyfriend came... i just told him.. i dont want to stay at this place, take me away :)


So i am now jobless? Yeah ! and i dont think i would get another job..
Just to need to have faith that the coins that i planted in my backyard would become money tree ! :D


Hmmm, so far .. people in church starts to noticed what's going on with me.. 
and yea.. they started to advise me which i totally do not appreciate it.. because i'm there to Learn more about God, not to listen to advise on how to live my life and also be told what to do in my own life.. be it if you eat more salt than the rice i intake, same thing ! it's still my life we're talking about here. so .. :) Don't touch that topic, let's discuss more on the important things. Even my parents don't have much say about this .. please, ... don't..
Trust me, i know it .. i am one stubborn person :)

a little update.

is life complicated ?
or i myself made it complicated.


Hello dear readers,


if you haven watch this movie then you should.
One of my old time Fav movie by Jack Neo, he actually inspired me to be a Movie Director back then when i was young. His first movie that i've watched "I not Stupid" back in 2002 - 10 years ago. And now, Jack Neo is back with Another Great movie "We Not Naughty" - 


we were actually quite short of budget but i really wanted to watch this movie.
thanks to my boyfriend for accompany-ing me :) and im utterly glad that he enjoyed the movie as well. Now his trying to watched the First few of Jack Neo's movie.
but unfortunately, we can't find DVD for I not Stupid 1 & 2. :(



It was that Good !
Because the next 2 days, i actually treated my brothers and dad to watch that movie at the cinema. :') 


--------------------------------------------------------


Is life complicated. 
or i made it so ?


Cousin is going to have her wedding ceremony next 2 week !
Vacation <3






So im taking my leave after this travel fair at the rads.
working# ohboyy. :')




loving him more and more. :')
indescribably in love with him. <3
Hidayat.

20.04.2012

Hello dear readers,


recently, i was lectured early in the morning when my working life was just about to start. Sitting there, being all quiet and just listen to what they have to say and at the same time, i was lost .. trying to figure out what bring me to this place. I guess they were right as well, i am lack of concentration, i am also very careless. So .. do i dislike this job ?
uncertain :')


I guess one of the major reason that lead me to this place was the amount that they are willing to pay for my salary and others would have said it's because they see the value in you. Potential ? what is that? i don't really understand what is my own potential that others sees in me that i don't. have i regretted moving here? I'm not sure but what i am sure is that, my past is a place where i can never get back to. 


and for the past 2 nights i was warned that i am not allowed to go back home unless so and so is Done. Warned ? oh boyy, the feeling of being in tuition where your tuition instructor actually said for kids who haven finished their correction are not allowed to go home :)


anyways, nowadays.. alot have been done.
but having too much is not a Great deal because i understand that i won't be able to cope if i were to handle that much moreover it's a new start and i'd like to make sure that everything is stable before i do too much of what i am doing. So, baby .. let's do it one by one .. slow down.. what most important is we don't give up even if we fails.


Have Faith <3 


Thanks to Sister Yanshiang for inviting me back to Bible Group Study..
which the topic was about Genesis and they started to talk about Names and everything..
So yea, my chinese name means ' lucky jade' . dad said i named you 'rui' because it's sounds like 'money' in Hokkien. yea right.. -.- i used to not like my name because it's hard for others to remember/pronounced my name correctly but now i absolutely loved it and im so glad that this is my name. Changing it ? hmm, no way ~ :D


Travel fair is coming soon and tho i've been working here for almost 5 months now but no.. i never met my 'Singaporean" noss, and it is heard that he'd be here during travel fair for a day. Oh Boyy~


haven i got enough rest? cause boyfriend told me that i was snoring when i fell asleep recently. :D now that's a bit embarrassing. 


Im all so sleepy now while waiting someone to come ~.~


by the way, i've submitted something to the bank hoping for approval, and NO ~ im not getting a house :D anyway pray that everything will be well and that i wont be dissapointed with another call of dissapointments :D and that everything that we are doing will be running smoothly :) AMEN ! <3




Loving you always
DiqtaSmers.

G'morning readers, 


OMG ! i got red eye, well Jefflego (2nd brother) got worst. He cant even open his left eyes for days, did it just infected me as well when i see his red eye ? :D Hopefully not because farah saw me at work and asked about my right eye( red eye ) which i didnt notice at all. :(


Friday is OFFDAY ! :)
Supervisor said, our Boss give it out of Grace.
"so, whose Grace" i asked. and she explain that Grace means something that you dont deserve yet was given. ohhh ~ :) thanksy !
what am i gonna do ? :D not planned yet ! ~


Bowling w the B****es? mana orang nya ? :D karang tah ku inbox. now malas2 :)

-.-

Panas hati2. -.-


Early in the morning sudah ada orang stress, lepastu buat semua orang stress/ orang lain jadi mangsa. sudah th! Jangan th stress2 ane, mun stress jangan th keraja. tantu !


i truly doesn't appreciate when someone mistreats me!
Be it if your my senior, supervisor or Boss ! please understand that, it's just a position but truly we humans are all the same! 

Just Something to Share :)

Just a little something to Share :)



It's Noon Now :)
and im just sitting here, doing nothing trying to entertain myself. 
trying to find something that made me smile.
and i guess this little boy did helped.

I feel like just bursting into laughter, but something inside just stings a little. :')

my thoughts are - perhaps nothing changed, may be it's Just Me.

Do you want to say something? 

I Became Speechless. even right after someone tries to tell me everything about what i am suppose to do and dont act like a child. i just stop the conversation and listen to them, and that's it. Crazy Much? When i kept quiet, they asked whats wrong - they dont want a dead fish but when i was having Fun, people see me like a childish kid.

you know what?

so sad boyfriend is busy with his work and time spent will be lesser lesser.

how long will this go on? :'(

:D

G'Morning Readers'

 My day has been quite challenging. and i guess, the universe tries to show me that 'everything is about how i take it.' cause sometimes it eats me alive , but we have to learn to overcome them :) - i need to "na de qi fang de xia." :) what does that mean ? well figure it out yourself!.

oh NO ~

Having Fun w Crazy Monkeys :)

Unexpected Surprise!

Hello Readers,


Yesterday was his birthday ! :) 
Mission accomplished, he was really surprised and unexpected. Many thanks to KyzKazuya and it was Great that we have some short chitty chatty time while waiting for the time to past. there's a Video and Some Picture added to Facebook by him, so you can check his tag in my timeline.


I took a Half day off to spend more time with him, First were being nonsense then we went to watch 'the Hunger Games' :) - which is quite annoying at Cinema 7 because we were sitting at ROW D "front" in between two other couples. which on the right was a couple who kept kissing each other and worst part is the girl is wearing skirt, not to mentioned where the guy's hand ran to and the Left side where another couple as well hugging and kissing. #annoyed but haha! Funny. So when the Movie had some kissing scene - we were basically surrounded by ... :D


After Movie, we went to the beach. :)
Not to mentioned, that it was the first time me and him going to the beach so it's kind of a sweet moment :') thanks sayang! 


Another Celebration Back at Home, which he was extra happy about his Cake - :D
"Happy Birthday Dygta!" - that's it? well not really. :)
because there's TOO MANY NONSENSE ! 


--------------------------------------


Today, everything seems to be better. Not Much Nonsense! yeay :3


Boyfriend is being busy at work, and it's not that i don't understand. it's just that i misses him alot. that's why .. :') 


hmm. What's next?
I wont be travelling so soon, next holiday is June so probably if there's 15 pax going to Taiwan then i'd be arrange to Tour Lead again. Korea? Maybe December! :) Just Maybe, Hoping? Hmm, will see*


The Badminton that tuesday was Great, i guess it's Great because both irene and i were the TOP Leading Team ! and i was very Surprised yet thankful to my sister YANSHIANG for getting me some medicine tho she knew i visited Doctor Ding, yet... :') very touching and i was like .. didn't knew how to express myself, and i felt so ... blind .. blind to see how bless i am. thanks SIS ! <3 


AWAY* :')

his special day :)

Hello readers, :)


I haven thought about sharing until abang F (sister who i called Abang) said - 'share some photos' so instead, i'd like to share my experience as well :)


today is his special day, im not sure how excited he is because it doesnt really show in his face and neither did he mention much about it. :) i already got his birthday gift as early as January, but then hmm. when i went to Taiwan i got my eyes on something even better for him :) so i bought them and waited till this day. i'm not sure how am i suppose to surprise him, and i was planning to do this tomorrow :) i planned to light up a heart like shape and a cake in between, or maybe a BIG 'I LOVE YOU?' but yea, that was my plan. 


so i shared this with my brother kyz, and he said its a Good idea and he suggested some other people to help me as well. hmmm* but i haven thought about anyone yet, i thought i could do it myself. :) and after a short conversation with Abang F, she said its better tonight because tomorrow it'd be expired. #sotrue 


Therefore the UNPREPARED me start thinking on HOW to make him know nothing? :D
it was already almost 5pm when i was driving back home while letting him know the Good news which i will be only working half day tomorrow to spend more time with him. His happy about it :) and on the way, im just trying to find problem with him being nonsense :) but the way he replied, huhu.. he understand that im just being nonsense and we didnt manage to quarrel :D but i gave him alot of excuses that im not meeting him tonight because well. my dad is looking for me and im also waiting for my mom to switch her phone back, in the end he said he wanted to Sleep cause his sleepy and that was 7pm and im like .... what? sleepy so early? lucky i didnt meet him up otherwise he'd be sleeping when im with him ? LOL, and finally, we stop chatting. :D 


i kept looking at the clock, ... 10.30pm is so Long ! as i planned to pick up brother kyz after his work, well for the mean time im planning to buy the things i need at 8pm. so first stop is wwmart near my place which didnt sale the candle that im looking for, next stop to Gadong BND1.80 shop and i manage to bought 100 candles and 100 paper cups :)
drive my way to Qlap MUM Bakery Shop and bought a tiny heart shape cake :D


went back here (office) to blog all this :D
while my camera is charging and i informed kyz what i wanted to do and needed his help. 
hope it doesnt rain.


So the plan is ... will be back before 11pm and will set up the place, after that kyz will go home and wake up him and asked whether did he quarrel with rui because rui is waiting him downstair in the car unwilling to come out. :) and if the PLAN work, he will be going down and saw a NOTE by the window of my car and be moving on the the place that we set the place up for ;)


Wish me LUCK!




happy birthday baby,
loving you always. :D
DiqtaSmers

Back from Taiwan :)

shouldn't be too lazy to blog. 

hello readers, 

Home sweet home, it's Great to be back home :)

definitely love Brunei more, i guess because my heart is here here. Another Taiwan Trip, previously my trip to taiwan was during January which i was on my own with 11 people. the tour didnt turn out too well on my side tho, and this time my supervisor says 'you better do well, be mature or else' and before the day of departure i was having migrant, flu and whichever sickness was on me as if my body is asking me not to leave brunei :D

but i did. :)

the trip of 16 pax was Great!

im Glad to know 2 little cute girls and story of how the two families get to know each other really surprised me, too coincidence. but yeah, anything can happen :)

im so glad to be home again, time flies - 8 days just passed.

back safely and would like to thank for all the prayers for journey mercy.

the only unfortunate thing is i got Bed Bug bite, which i will be visiting the Doctor later :)

431 pictures were uploaded in my facebook account :D

here are some for you too see :)

have a nice nice day :)

truly yours,

DiqtaSmers <3

a Mess

I'm a MESS !
Totally. :(


This Morning, i thought maybe i'll just leave my PSP (used to watch movie in the plane) here and i'll just drive to my next stop. Realizing that i should have bring my PSP along with me so i can charge it at work since im leaving this afternoon and there's no chance for me to charge. Therefore, i drove all the way back and get it - realizing i left my medicine back there. OMG ! i went back to find it but it's no where to be found and im already 40mins late to work. :(


Im still having some flu, a little migrant as well. but i had Panadol instead.
hope everything will be well :)
Pray for journey mercy ;) <3




Loving you always
DiqtaSmers

Grow UP ?

Totally reminds me on how much i always wanted to be a child, because Growing Up is so difficult. Saying that i don't like growing up, truth is .. i just don't want to take responsibility and you can't deny that the older you get, the more responsibility and duties you'll be having. 


working here, im totally like a Lost Child. 
because my seniors and supervisors wouldn't stop talking about how lost and silly i am while working, forgetting things and somehow clueless as well.. but i didn't mind .. Somehow, before my Supervisor left for her KK missionary trip she said it's time for you to GROW UP and Be MATURE. and i'm like that's FUNNY, :D am i not ?


Now it's Not Funny because my flight got delay and calling everyone informing them and etc.
'you have to take charge!' said my supervisor, so now im like OH MY GAWD, am i ready for this? Taking Charge? you must be kidding me because im just a CHILD ! i dont know anything and you want me to take care a Group of Adult? GOOD GRACE somebody SAVE me.
Before was OKAY because atleast Senior went to Taiwan with me tho it's a different trip, but now im ALL ALONE. and supervisor said that she ain gonna be nice if something bad happen. So, i guess it's just be having fear . :D 
Dont say that ! Journal ling is Good :) Now that i realize, oh it's just FEAR :)


last trip was alright and i confidently said ' dont worry, it's gonna be fine, trust me' to them.
So this time shouldnt be an exception :D


Time to Grow? :(






pray for Journey Mercy! :)




Loving you always and gonna miss you badly, Love. :)
make sure you take good care and always Smile <3

Few More Days to Go

Going to Taiwan in the next few days and im not too excited. Tho i dreamed about myself with the Group in the restaurant and i was ‘Adding On’ more food on the table for them. Honestly, i wasn’t too excited to visit Taiwan again. but i could recall how others commented that it’s such a Great opportunity because i could travel and work at the same time. well not exactly when you missed home alot. :) daddy knows why, even my dad knows why i missed home that much :’)
We have 3 Groups leaving this month, 2 to Korea and 1 to Taiwan. reason why im not chosen to Korea because it’s a tour to Jeju island so they got someone who have more experience. And my workmate told me that she overheard about my supervisor would like me to be more familiar with the Taiwan market. Ohboyy ;) i would like to visit Korea tho, and she said – will see if 2 groups leaving for Korea and you will have your chance by then.
Today is quite a busy day, Grandmother has been quite unreasonable whenever she wants me to visit her at Bengkurong. what can i say ? she’s the Boss :) so i planned to visit her today because i would be spending time with my precious one tomorrow night and friday night is more of a preparation night. And i couldn’t say NO to barry boo who helped me to check the place i wanted for Dinner, but luckily he cancelled it because he have some training later at night. so more space for me to breath :D and a notification came in this morning from uncle wai inviting us for Dinner. ohboyy :)  i wanted to ‘pass’ but because others are attending and .. why not? might just drop by then. and then be off to bengkurong as late as 8pm ? running down to berakas to meet my precious one by around 9pm hope im not late. And maybe going to Jerudong again? another ohboyy moment, im not sure how can i take it. Pretty Boy, do your visit tomorrow? :’)
i’ll be away for 8 days and it’s going to be on my own. i didnt really imagine how scary that is, but yea. i just had to do my best. “Be more mature, mature mature mature” is what my supervisor keep reminding me. :( Pray for Journey Mercy as i will be leaving this Saturday :’) if you want anything just inbox :D *joke*

Getting more and more tired. i’m just being lazy, anything that can motivates me? i’d like to do something FUN. what’s a Good Name for my Business to Come? :D thinking*

miss the 'old' you

Hello Readers,


Happy 3rd Monthsary baby, ;)
It's been 3 months, and 3 months seems like 3 years for the both of us. :D


anyways, today i'd like to blog about a brother that i have.
his not my blood related brother, his just someone i knew more than 2 years already. At first, we weren't that close - we seldom meet/chat or etc but we would sometime text and we would asked each other about how's everything and etc..he would call me at times when he just needed someone to listen to him. But i don't really know this person that well, his just a friend that i have and his just a part of this dance group that i know from. So, they're always in a Group. But his always a lovely friend that i have, the boy with the Smile.


I just don't understand now, maybe we both grown up. Perhaps, we've became more ambitious, selfish, it's all about "ME" now aye? ;) 


i dont hate you, infact i miss the 'Old' you alot. be it, if you would start judging and start saying other things ...  you used to blog almost every time and through your blog i felt like i knew you more, because it's all from your heart.. and after reading it i truly wanted to fill your life w Joy ;) but i couldn't reach you when you needed someone because i dont have the transport. Somehow, it's just so wrong now. Because your focus is all by yourself, you focus on helping others when you can't even help yourself and you pulled others down just in order to help others. :) 
If your Ego ness is still stuck in you, you would start ucap2 .. which is not Good.
maybe you would say things that i do may/may not be ikhlas. but could you even recall how much that i've been there? ;) maybe just a while, but eventho i felt that i dont want to but i DID because it's You. i've given as much as i could, even the gadget that your holding .. Just hope that you know how to think as i always say 'asal .. pandai pikir'


i really don't want to ruin you. you can do anything you want with your life, but if things that has no productivity then count me OUT because i'm not going to lend a hand. 
i hope some day you will sedar or maybe you are now, then Great.


what i really hope from you is, i hope someday ..
you would come to me, as a friend that just genuinely wanted to lend your ears and listen to what trouble my heart or .. truly wanted to know how have i been. Or a gentle Smile that comes truly from the depth of your heart.. Not with other intention, but just simply being authentic and true. ;)

i Missed the Old you. ;)

cinta

your so lovely to me ;)

I had a dream, and you were inside of my dream as well.

and i heard the sound of my heart saying that, 'im so lucky to have found you, because you were the one i always wanted - someone who could love me for who i am' then i woke up. ;) #truestory.

i've always loved you. 

will be continue @ smers blog. :D

unexpected events :)

Hello Readers,


No idea what is the exact time but the stadium was packed before sunsets. Everyone was so excited for yesterday's match, que-ing up in the morning just to get their hand on the tickets and indeed almost all Facebook status had something to do with 'tickets, tickets, tickets'. Some people spotted Indonesian scanning and printing the tickets with Full Colors, and some Bruneians photocopied the 'Pass' as well. 


It was totally out of my expectation that Brunei would have won over Indonesia team tho i never watch how Indonesia team plays but the way others describe them confidently -giving me the conclusion that it's not going to be easy for Brunei to Score against Indonesia.


It was heard in the news last night, there's were fights going on where 2 car's window was broke and 2 police were injured.


Anyway Last but not least, Big Congrats to Brunei team :)
expect the unexpected, never try never know ;) Just do your best you can really make everyone amazed :)




It's always you, DiqtaSmers :) <3

Congrats to Brunei for winning 3-2 against Myanmar. i would say we were lucky to be able to watch the match, being as early at 6pm - there's already a huge traffic and difficulties in finding a appropriate parking. And we walked a distance to reach the Stadium, not too lucky at first because the police closed the way when we just reached there. So, we went to the main entrance and it was full of people shouting and scolding the police to open up for us.. after a long wait, we went around the stadium trying to find a way in.


Just being very lucky that we manage to went in before the match starts and found plenty of seats for ourselves.


the Final between Brunei and Indonesia, how can that be compromise? :)
our MINI STADIUM ? Back when Indonesia is playing, the Stadium was packed !
now Brunei and Indonesia? :) ohboyy, better watch at home.


Tickets for Tonight is available from 8am-11am.
But people have been que-ing as early as 6am, and this is how it looks. 





Goodluck ! :)

Truly yours,
Diqtasmers

Not everything comes easily. :)

Having Deep Thoughts yesterday while i was waiting for my partner :)
A Question came into my mind - 'what brought you here?' and i asked myself, what brought me here and some flashback starts to replay but i shift my thoughts immediately because those are the places that im not willing to look back to. :') All i know is, i'm not totally enjoying my current job - i'm not saying that everything here is bad, Working Office hours? Office hours is almost what everyone is looking for, and we have holidays on every single holiday! it's a Great Job, with a Good pay and im able to travel when im chosen .. not to mentioned that i get to travel for Free + Allowance + Food Expenses. It's Great - My uncle envied that i was able to travel like that.
But this is not really my thing - i love to travel but i'd love to travel with my family,friends and love ones.
and Most of the time when im not travelling, i'd be stuck in this chair facing this computer and finishing up the same thing all over and over again. :) that's so not my thing.


so, im just taking it slow and see how long can this last. But at the same time, i'm looking for resources and till i have enough - will do something that interested me more. :) so God Bless that plan! Unfortunately, i got rejected several times and .. But somehow, asking myself more on what i really wanted in this life - there's another voice that tells me 'dont give up' , 'follow your heart, follow your dream' - and i'd like to hold on to that, and have more Faith .. faith in myself .. faith in Him as well. :)


will share more soon :D
off to facebook*




Thanks for reading,
much love - ruiyee
DiqtaSmers <3

Amazing Myanmar :)

Hello readers,


Just would like to share something interesting that i just learn/heard about.
Have you heard of Myanmar? What's the First thing that came into your mind when you think of this place?
the living standard in Myanmar is quite poor so people wonder hows the airport there would be, maybe Brunei's airport is atleast better than Myanmar's..


check out the size of the airport. :)

 Okay, so other than that i also learn that .. Myanmar people row boats with their legs and it's the only place in the world People row boats with their leg quite fast as well, and Other than that .. they actually have FLOATING farms where they plant vegetables, potatoes and etc..they can even move plots wherever they want due to high/low tides. Which is something really amazing :)

Check out Myanmar's temple on Google and you can see how Grand their temples are covered with Pure Gold. So i've heard that some people earn up to 1-3 bnd per month, due to the money there is smaller and their living standard. But they are very devoted to their religion there, which many Temples are made out of Gold but themselves living in quite shabby houses. :) so check out more on Myanmar :)

ohboyy :)

Just a kid with a Bigger Dream -
Oh Boy :) Atleast i've tried tho it's not everything yet but yea i did Tried like to so many places already. In the end, rejected - what can i say ? :) It's the reputation that i've build and the assumptions of support that i assumed would be there whenever i needed it.
But i guess some or most part of it i was wrong :)


hmm. not to mention much - shall resume, to the end till there's no way baru tah. :)
much love,
ruiyee.

 Good Morning Love. :)
Your love is so wonderful to me.  
i'm so Lucky to have you! 

School is not a place for me. :)

Previously, i have been quite business minded :)
Again as i mentioned that who wouldn't want to be Financial Freedom? and i hearing this two words coming out from my dad's lips ever since i was form 5 ? yeah, that was 3 years ago. 3 years ago, i'm just that lazy person who just loves to hang out with my friends. i don't like studying, not that i hate it .. it's just not something i really like to .. 
back when everyone is trying to eat their biology books and etc, i was just relaxing .. i could say i didn't even really studied for my o levels and my result shows. :)

20th Feb 2012

Hello readers,


Business minded on the Go` but unfortunately my lazy ness is slowing me down. :)
i guess just like many others, i myself would like to find a way where i dont have to work but i know money is coming in. :) who doesn't? So far, this work has a Good pay and the fact that they invested on me to visit Taiwan - just at my second month of work is not something that happens everyday. And next tour would be 'Korea' - i know there's 2 tour leaving at the same day but different island. One of my senior asked about when i started work and etc. Well, she's either complaining about me or she's actually writing a suggestion letter to my Boss (for me to tour lead Korea trip) 


The thoughts of having 2 nights overnight at Seria, KB already worries me. Because there's someone that i dont want to stay too far from. And Korea? well, sounds exciting but my heart would always be just right here. :) reminder before i leave ' ROAMING for my Phone' :)
a Gadget that has wi-fi Please? :) so this time no IPAD because ... it's SOLD.
so, how am i going to go online with you, love? *sort it out later*


Business talk! :D 
so what's great in Korea? might consider buy&sale :)
but anyway why am i talking about this, cause im still not sure whether am i chosen or not.




i dont like the paperworks :)






Love has been , well the usual up and downs. :D
His just a Guy that i dont ever wanted to lose.
. last <3 
thanks for being patient and understanding.

updates

Hello readers,


so .. wait, let me check what's my previous post about. 


back*


so it's about that .. i guess it's getting a lot more better than before. perhaps it's because i haven been thinking about that much, last valentine's eve - we had a tiny gathering at The Arch organized by uncle wai, and alot showed up. It's good to see their faces again after a long while ' being thankul that theyre willing to take the time and attend this gathering. Yea, the most thrilling part for me is when John and his young boy came - he always gives me a lot of energy - but it's Fun, his a really busy guy and seldom shows up so .. :)
and yea, haven seen or heard anything from Brother Jonathan - forgotten to ask John about him. hmm*
too bad Sham wasn't there. Good to see reyne, all the way from KB ! :)

Fear ;)

i found this - do change the wife to husband because this is from me to you. ;)

and yeah, you meant the world to me.

yeah, i guess at the point my impatient ness is also an advantage because can't wait to do this and that and this and that.

---------------------------------------------------------------

im runnning away, running away, running away.

is there any song that can sing how i feel inside right now?

not really. ;) 

i just wanted to check - so i facebooked uncle wai ( my super 10 twin )

whether is he invited to the dinner tonight ? and well, he updated me that nowadays they are moving in smaller group - dinner and sharing. so not everyone is invited. ohboyy, hey i get what you mean but why that invitation made me felt as if im a VICTIM ? yeah, too much fear within already. Next Question is, if i always run away from this .. perhaps - im unconsciously making a decision of not being in this environment already ?

how to i start ? ;)  i have more than one account. another account that have the same respective username as my default account was created around june after my first course, as i was behind the idea of creating secret group for ourselves and it became a trend for them. As because Everyone was amazed by our bond and connection for the 99th Group, as some of us including me have step up alot in organizing events and gathering, bringing in more energy into the environment might have earn their favor in us. 

as i have left the environment for quite a while. Because getting into this environment, we need to start the story from where i first started work at my previous Job. so yes, one of the main reason that im not showing up too much is because i dont feel comfortable seeing my previous boss. I dont have much bad things to tell about them, no they treated me very well - the only thing is the SYSTEM that was created. My Boss may consider himself as the 'system' and assuming that im talking negative things about him. well go ahead, ;) just need to know that, your always remembered. i've shared my fear before .. that i fear if i ever leave that company, i would lose their care and love at the same time. so sorry that i dont even give you a chance to talk to me, tho you mentioned that your love and care would still be there but i guess those words are not valid after what i have done. Fair Enough! ;)

im not ready ;)

not ready to face you guys yet.

so about tonight, im still not sure if i want to join or not.

we are making choices everyday, and yea - im aware that im choosing to escape.

because just like myself, there's too many judgement.

------------------------------------------

hello Sister Yan.

She loves to know hows my work doing :D

work has been fine, really really fine. im just on my own doing my own thing.

but i realize it's either my passion doesn't burn well here or i didnt let myself to be well nurtured. ;)

-------------------------------------

things happens in a relationship.

it's not always easy and many times i just can't afford to harden my heart towards him. ;)

this is for you from my heart ;)

In times of trouble, dont run away. times of difficulties, dont hide. when things got harder, dont act as everything alright. Dont be too harsh on yourself, just be gentle. i will accept you for who you are and what you have, just like you accepting me for who i truly am. Dont worry because those little things wont lessen my love for you. as i always says, it's the moments that counts - as long as we're always always always happy together. so if there's anything Share .. any problem lets find some way to make it right to make this relationship work. ;) aroso ?

lofe you hidayat <3

 

today ?

Lazy bug attack ! ;)

This feeling is not the first time, once in a while this feeling would visit me and just make me feel like a mess. and i guess because it's a holiday season now because the lazy bug is back in town :D  

so many appointment in a day - 5 things to do and i always end up just fulfilling one only. yea, feeling bad that i wasn't there at xavier's open house which he texted me and said ' thanks for not coming to my open house' but yea i met him w his ..... IS 300c lol, he wants to keep it low profile? :D i didnt went to church, cause i wasnt feeling it that much - this feeling tells me that i just want to be in BED. just teranah dirumah saja, :') but yeaa, didnt want to put off another airplane. so i was on time, friend invited me an hour early so i was there standby for that long. :D thanks for the invite jiamin - BBQ + Steamboat. 

as i was driving, alot came to my mind.

my desire to purchase a new gadget, and i tried to ask myself deeper why do i want to ?

and i couldn't find a reason strong enough but to realize i dont know how to appreciate the gadget that i have now ;) sorry nokia - am i wrong if i said, i hope you could be a better gadget.? in a relationship yeaa, that would be wrong but .. in the gadget world. NAH ~ ;) *nonsense*

do you know how exactly i get away from my previous job? yea i was working happily there, with people whom i considered as my family. who cares for me and who see me more than others, but unfortunately i was giving them hint - then they wanted me to be more patient which is not in my dictionary, finally i just left without giving anyone anymore chance to say a word. 

it was 2 months ago when i left. i sent a letter of 24 hour notice - not a month but just 24 hour and just left a place where i was nurture for a year, all the care, love and guidance given were taken for granted? or am i just simply a person who dont know how to appreciate? yeah, perhaps - babyboy (my car) is just an excuse for me to say that they wages i was given ain enough. if i dont have babyboy - would i stay ? 

maybe what big fish said was right, as my choice has show what i prior the most. but i denied it, - as my family pour in more perspective regarding my work . i have agreed with them and did as they advised. not giving my previous company any chance to take any advantage on me and at the same time, im afraid to give them even a moment to talk to me because i know if they were to .. i wouldnt continue to stay...

have my work makes me a happier person ?

i would say , it's totally a different thing from my previous work. i wouldnt enjoy being in the same position if i stayed at my previous company. staying in this company does secure my wages than before, travelling have been one of my dream but now it will be a bit different if someone special is missing :)

no, im not a happier person .. because there are things unsettled. and fear is overcoming me, tho it seems that slowly slowly the universe is trying to get me to face this Fear.

love?

loving a person and keeping it constant is not easy, especially letting go of your own ego, be more understanding ;) what i realize is that when you fall in love a person, you dont really know them until time passed by and you realize that they are just like every other people, just like you and me - imperfect. And from there - learning to love a person's imperfectness , as no matter what situation bad or good - learning to accept them as who they are, and still love them the same. no less but more. ;)

loving you- hidayat kms.

too many thoughts to share,

now back to pemalas mode. :D