this is my story, where's yours.

It'srui Smers

i loved to eat, watch and sleep !

but now i work i work and i blog ! ;)

i agree! life indeed is Good. :)

What happened today ?

Slow day please ! I want a Slow Slow day ~ please i'm tired !

"answered prayer" Indeed, because i had one of the most amazing day.

And this AMAZING LADY just made my day :)
She arrives from Brisbane early in the morning, approaches me and break me into laughter by her awesome-ness. Never had i met anyone just like her, she's so Friendly.
Thanks. <3


I really love this DAY ! <3
Monday blue -

i had one Fun day w my boss, because she whom always worried about the sales wasn't worried at all. She became more calm and she was so busy on her own, i definitely had the most peaceful closing without her having to help me close my works. :)
all thanks to MAHJONG Game in Ipad, she was so addicted that she actually play mahjong for HOURS. (imagine that) 
And she was being ignorance as well when the flight landed, she who usually would walk around and get more sales just sat there behind the counter facing her ipad. (HAHA!)

That's the very FIRST time ever ! :) <3

WOW! <3
new Dslr camera, new CAR as well <3
i was informed that my car got approved but it will be out next month.
so baby august eys.

im going to enjoy more !
tomorrow, let me see. well ' im taking my cam in action.
workwise ; well im doing great, i finished all my paperworks <3 and i did my best everyday!

it's 2 DAYS away !!

This Picture is one of my awesome moment!

Picture taken while i was assisting guest to the arrival hall. 

My guides were there already and after sitting around, i felt that it's better i walk back up to complete my paperwork of the day. But half way, this little boy had completely caught my attention!

This boy kept hugging his mom, and kisses her cheeks. such a love able kid! even when his dad walked over and carried him, he did the same :) he kissed his dad <3 so many times.

and he is such an adorable boy, hope my baby boy be as adorable as he is <3

look at the way he smiles !

im so in love with children, they are way too adorable :)

itsruismers' photostream

itsruismers' photostream on Flickr.

testing

one of the most amazing moment i have <3

A slow day i asked

Lovely day :) No rain at all today and the weather is lovely, tho it does appears to be a bit hot. i stumbled upon an amazing blog and i had it link to my blog (you can search it at "other blogs" page) amazing mother :)

and her blog influenced me to write even more. Its so amazing as the blogger continued her daily post about her family :) and i really enjoyed it. How amazing and simple life can be <3

Facebook appears to be very deserted. No one is really posting at the Group page, i kept refreshing and aww ' its still the same. Where in the world is everyone ? thinking - hmm, oh its Sunday :) a Family day - (hehe)

Where's Gugu ? My team, gugu didnt replied my last inbox, message nor calls. -.- whats wrong with you? message me asap! :)

i actually prayed for a slow day, a very very slow day. My next offday is Thursday because i know im going to be back home late on weds. Irene yap, is leaving soon to melbourne to further her studies and i want to join the next pow wow lunch w her :) and im going to spend the night with all my awesome family too. Weds is like 2 days away, time really passed by when you didnt really noticed it, that is one of the main reason why people kept reminding each other to appreciate the things around and be grateful. but one FUNNY thing is, everyone always Forgets but always remember to remind others. :D

i just had my new DSLR 2 days ago. :) it's a D5100 and i bought it from someone else.

totally loved my new gadget and im trying to make good use of it. so one wish had come true, there's more wishes pending. Im still waiting for my car, people around me had worked very hard and helped me a lot in order for me to get it. Im getting a Brand New Kia Sportage, no specific color yet. But disappointing because it takes so long, and i really wanted to use the Car to pick up my friend at Miri. There's 2 more days to go, seems like its going to take forever. hmm` but either way im still going to enjoy everything :D

If i had a chance, i really want to ask BigFish. Why invest so much in me?

I dont really admire your way mama, please stop being negative. you denied the fact that you cared and you showed it again. -.- Mentor said " your words contains weight, you need take responsibility upon the words you used" - well your not doing it pretty well. It cant be 3 people running, it has to be One Vision, One Mission or else the followers will get lost because there's 3 people in different perspective, vision and mission to be followed. (if you understands)  i dont want to run away, i dont want to escape nor do i want to be irresponsible, you wanted me to grow and improve but you stopped me in a circle and kept shooting me. 

Yesterday was a messed, but thanks to the cheese cake. we felt better, but everyday cant be saved by deli france's cheesecake. there were 3 times when i was going to let go of my emotions and allow them to flow. But i didnt, cause i refused to appear weak. People definitely asked me to take it easy, well.. it doesnt look like a BIG DEAL to you, because you didnt understood how much it had hurt me. Cant say too much, because when i started to talk - its going to be wrong. And if i kept it inside, they would had taught that im not sharing. 

But throughout every event, atleast i get to learn more insight in life. :)

Yesterday, my desire re burned. I want to do what i always had visioned out in life. 

to be updated. much love.

rui

crazy day

My day started out crazily, i almost fall. They can be really upset and start shooting around and the story are normally the same. ;0 was such a crazy day this morning, when the company called me again and told me that what i simply requested was too much for them but they insisted me to do what they asked for tho its extra works. -.- im like "wooahhhh, thats abit too much !" Moreover when people were upset about the flight destruction and start shooting at me. im like " keep apologizing to them " ` i did my best .
But it was a bit too much, all the problems kept rushing in split second. And YES, i almost broke into tears for 3 times this morning.


in the end, i walked away and calm myself down. Kakao talk w my gang and wow :D i felt better :)
Stay strong bitch! is what i would say. we still have to SMILE :)

this boy, his name is ad musa aka David. 

and his the Bitch :)

Thanks to our mama, :) she belanja us cheese cake so all the crazy day actually is totally worth it <3

oh kids <3

well, ad and i was invited for dinner :) at Orchid Garden Hotel.

The OGH's awesome guys

From the right ; kyden, Ad, Summer, Jay, Chai Yi and our mom :)

Ad and his wifey

The one and only ME <3

i love myself, and so should you !
may tomorrow be an awesome day. <3

Love my God,rui

awesome day eys

One down, one more to go :) everything was well planned, thank God actually caused He made this all happened. think this kid can get so much in such a short time? wisdom and blessings was sent from above. :)

i was doing a private tour this afternoon and it turned out GREAT ! i never felt that awesome doing a BS tour :D and there's a part of me wanted to just text him and tell him the great job i did but what stopped me?  Im a person who likes to have FUN , like loads of Fun and i know how to take care of myself, i DO :) but taking care of a team who find themselves hard to follow me - oops` here comes the problem. i wanted to RUN, going really in fast phase but they're not running. Yes, something is slowing me down and when im slowed down, my aware ness is not switch ON. thats when i messed up ( just like when i drive, i find it really hard to drive slow)- true story! :D

i find him, like a daddy :D <3

aww, thats like so nice :D 2 big brother treating me a cup of hot chocolate. yums

Yeayeayea, listen to all you want. If a person can just say a word and change your whole perspective and trust towards me, then ....

being grateful, thanks auntie for the help :)

and tonight, i got a very awesome gift for myself. something that i've been longing for years :D now had finally reached my tiny palms <3 

met a guy whom surprised me alot, its nice to see someone who cares so much for their family :) i was like " wow," in my mind i couldnt really expect that someone like this really existed around such environment.

daddy, i long for such care from you. :) time is running fast, i hope its never too late. :D

will Big Fish get dissapointed about this? well, its my choice :D

just love me for who i am, cause theres no one else like me <3

" Perhaps, i'm afraid of changes " - ruismers

lost?

I can be very forgetful, i can forget all the promises i once made, i forgot most of the things that had keep me running - question why ? "i still dont know"


Yesterday, i was having Fun - not being serious ( unleashing yellow ) and He shot them away and took me into a serious conversation. asking myself deeply " what does that mean ?
So, i went back home - i wasnt feeling too well, and i tried asking myself ' and i found some things but i still somehow feel lost.
i forgotten what Big Fish told me :( where were i ? 
i was trying hard to be present, but why have i forgotten the feelings and the meaning of conversation that i was having.


so, im not using my tools? isit a waste? :(


i took some time , asking about myself. but so far, it's little that i found. Big Fish, has been very connected i just hope and prayed that i can get back on fast track in no time because i dont wanna get anyone dissapointed.


Lord, get me back on track :)
show me the way please, my AT is reacting alot. :(

"you didnt ask yourself deep enough"

realization

i come to a point that, loving someone can be so complicated. a very simple intention could turn half of the world up side down, someone so close can be so far away. when you dont fully trust a person, its like a glass with a crack - a small pressure and crack the whole thing down, it's easier to get them into an agreement. Because when a person doubt, they're not stable and easy to shaken.


Lies, is only when you believe and give life to it.


I saw a "pattern" in my life, another obstacle has come - is this my 5 mins advance alarm telling me that, times is almost up ? Because when this event show up recently, my mind introduce my heart the idea of escaping, which is also one of my bad habit in life. I always have a vision to escape myself from reality and i had it few times today. I feel like running away from all of this mess, i always believe that what had broke cant be mend. I dont want to be there all day feeling uneasy, i dont want my mentor to hear the story as if i've done it all wrong. i dont want to disappoint my mentor, i always look up to him. tho he seems really really far away from me now, i can only see his back facing me. 


I dont want to end this way.

fears

Hey peeps, its been a while since i blogged. tho its just like last week but i feel like i haven been blogging for a long while and i do missed it. If you wonder what brings me here today, well im not feeling well. it started when i create assumptions, i assumed a person's feedback towards me and i just made a mind assumptions. So, i was down the whole day keep on thinking and thinking and thinking. The fifth agreement mentioned that if we start to think, we assumed. So, should i not think ?


i was thinking " perhaps, i forgot to bring my heart" because i fear to feel.
i fear to feel the dissapointments, afraid of judgements, but then i need to STOP being Fearful because i need to live my life to the fullest <3


Godma, your the best. and i hope that you'd always love me because your like a real mother to me. Mentor, :) i hope you do as well, cause your like a brother, Big Fish :) your like a Long Leg Father :D Bitch, ur like a brother. :)


the best is SET as default.

Offday!

How i spend my offday ?
I used my mom's ride and picked up a friend. we ate and watched movie, it's a pleasant day well spend connecting with one another, as he shared i started to learn more about this person just right in front of me. we watched "larry crowne" cause he wanted to but i was looking forward to watch "monte carlo" all this while, but i just didnt say anything. (wonder why) but that movie show me the nature of teamwork, and that i have to keep improving myself. i also learn that i have to start to work more efficiently cause im not very organized. :S


Movies,
He reminded himself again, how old are you ? he questioned, 18 ? "but your mature" he complimented, and movie helped alot. i was watching movie my whole life, and it used to act as my food or even worst my "oxygen" it was treated as a medicine to heal my pain and even while i beat myself up. It frees the time from reality and shifted my mind into another world, where i started to see things in thousands of perspective and feeling what different character would feel and thinks.  


Dilemma;
i got serious dilemma, i dont have Golden Sand in my test but i'm always being indecisive. what happen today is that, i bought two drink because i didnt knew what i wanted so i end up buying a hot choco and a rootbeer while watching movie. My very first time and i must be crazy today. I was in between a iphone 4 and a Galaxy S II , Mac Pro & Mac Air, Kia Cerato & Kia New Sportage. i hope i wont be in between left and right. :D


Guys;
why do i often grow fantasy about guys ? -.- tho i dont know them but once i catch that flash, it just repeatedly playing in my fantasy world w the same guys. then when it stopped, some other guy may happen to jump in and the history repeats itself ? ;O 


Workwise;
Err, i haven been doing well cause my mate is falling apart and i've been taking a step, well many step back. and im wrong, i had to do my part and whether he follows or not, its his problem because i have to move on. So, boy catch up or fall apart. :) you obviously dont CARE, cause if you do  - we wont reach this route. :)


Personality;
Whats my personality (BIG Question mark !) 
im cheerful but i get low at times, 
im LOUD but i can be one badass. 
im this but im also that, 
im Hot and im also COLD. 
im like the coffee in a cup, getting stirred cause i dont really know where i stand, 
im like a wind ` following the wherever it brings me to. im like a river, going with the flow. 
(again, trying to find my authentic self. :)


what i loves to do in my car;
i love to turn the MUSIC out LOUD while im driving and sing along. :D
i love to drive FAST ! honestly, im not good at driving slow. 
i love lying down in my car and sleeeeep !


Is it just me or you just changed ? *shouting* BROO ! why i feel that your so far away from me? i just talked about you, and i used the word "USED" while talking about you, :(
i miss you! come back, be present w me !


much love.

i changed

Face Reality !
You know what? Please do forgive people who made mistake and whom done wrong in your sight. Like please, and don't just Judge their ability because of their bad experience. I may be feeling/thinking/considering too much but i felt that my mentor was dissapointed about me and what potential ? i have potential ? i don't even know what are they so why is everyone saying i do ? cause No, i dont know what are they and i dont know what to do. im like a Lost Bunny, and the feeling i have right now is that "im lost" Cause not only mentor but Godma as well, everyone started to lose faith on me and perhaps my action had made them felt that way. So, think back and what did i used to do and which im not doing now cause i was excellent before and now i felt so untidy, such a mess ! i sincerely loves this Job, the main part wasnt about the Job but the people with me, i love the relationship i had w my mentor and Godma, thats what i cherish most and i didnt wanna lose. Imagine myself working for another 5-7 years wasnt that bad for me, instead i love it.


How about today ?
But today, feelings changed . my environment changed and i didnt like it. In fact, i felt like running away from this place and set off w a new ground. Godma said i couldnt do it, Mentor sense the limit of my capability which isnt true because i can do better than that but what ever they felt was the energy sent by me. and at this very moment, i asked myself " whats wrong w me? " why am i not PERFORMING at MY BEST? where my CV TOOLS ? goshhh !


Wake Up Call
im not going to make the next person be dissapointed about me & its not going to be tomorrow but at this very moment im going to be my BEST ! always always always !
Im coming back and sincerely i really am .




Love is Found,
i really love taking photos and i feel like collecting not just smile but those adorable kids. :)

i really love kids, and if possible i'd be all my friends Godmother as long as they have cute kids. :)

but i'm Picky, don't judge. (hehe)

i was just standing beside their mom and looking at them communicating, geez' they're really cute so innocent and they just say anything they wanted or do anything they felt like without thinking about what adults may felt. they're true to themselves. :) and we all used to have that, we just lost it on the journey of growing. 

i have a very supportive Group, thanks for all the milo support. :D

and the Big Energy Booster Truck! <3

Shouting out loud, world are you ready for ME?

much love from rui. <3

wheres my smile?

Everything seems to be a mess since this morning, i wasnt at a 10 and everything really flows, i heard the rest shouting but i couldnt. i lost my mind, i lost my patience. 

when i realize the way i talk to the people around me, im aware that i wasnt being friendly anymore so i stopped and wonder 'why had i stopped smiling to them' Big Fish said whats most important is the smile and i forgot how to be that person. 
early in the morning, was such a mess seems like i was the only one taking care the things and the people around displayed their feelings on their face, they werent happy and that affects me as well. 

where am i, and why having monkey mind again? my mentor used to be quite fond of me but right now it seems like im just a rotten apple. 'dont think too much' is def his advice. 

things is such a mess. if you could just stop directing me cause i cant grow on my own when you tied me down. i just want to whuush this all away, go for ny next journey! :) 

wheres my smile?

im lazy. :)

Today, nothing much happened because i was basically in a deep sleep the whole morning. 

Enjoying my all time fav song at the moment, A mashup of The man who cant be move and for the first time covered by "before you exit" and they really rocked it. :) i couldnt stop replaying the same song all over and over again. <3 you should really listen to it.

I experience one of the most eventful day yesterday, i requested for an off day but i was given to work half day. So, after work we went off to Serasa Beach. BBQ was prepared and some more avail rides which are chargeable of course, :) Banana Boat ride, Flying Fish, Jet Ski, Parachuting and etc. 6 of us ride on the Flying Fish, (haha) the laughters of riding that is still clear in my mind. Because we were ALL Bursting Laughters when the Boat Drives as Fast as it hopes to shake us off :) i want to ride it again and this time. I dont wanna be shaken off !!

First time Parachuting and the experience up there is AMAZING.

due to my naughtiness, haha i always get my way into things.

And that boat driver dipped me into the water 3 times. :D

and i was up so so so HIGH, not even feeling afraid .. i felt GREAT and i love that feeeeelingggg <3

We definitely have serious FUN.

photo credited to R' :)

After Beach, had dinner w our friend from SG.

we went over to visit Cities Square's Art Gallery and i was totally blown away by all the talents we Bruneian have but sadly there was no stage for them to show their real talent. and i met a talented young man, iskandar whom did and excellent touch on expressing his words into a short clip and his creativity of showing the clip covered with Box.

After all this, i went home approx 9:30pm and went off at 10:00 rushing to watch Transformer 3 with my brothers. we had 4 free tickets and since they couldnt watch it so i took this opportunity to spend sometime w my brothers. too bad i was too tired w all the work and fun. i fall asleep many times, while watching. :D

ohh well, i requested to come at 8am to work and i was like midnight when i texted my ladyboss. :D i got lil busted, hehe and she let me come at 12pm. which i overslept for more than 12hours and woke up 1:15pm ;)

what a Day ~ <3

so this morning i woke up and off to work, whole noon was about me and my paperwork. :D                                                     my commitment letter was submitted. hopefully my mentor, ladyboss and BigFish really gives me an answer to continue my journey. :)

much love

who am i "?

Someone finally gets a OUT from the referee, had a arrangement meeting w my mentor and ladyboss (GodMother<3) somehow, i find my mentor quite scary by the way he just terminate my colleague whom worked here for a YEAR ! and pooof* she's Gone just because he decided to. and my mind wonders " would you do the same to me?"


Who am i ? Yes im filled with Doubts about myself and i have MONKEY MIND. :D 


I have an awesome date w chilipadi :), she's Cool and i like hanging out and she owns GREAT IDEAS, so you see as they always say " great mind talk about ideas" and honestly i was like "WOW, when she showed me her vision in mind. i was blown away !


My bitch (best friend) and i had a heart to heart conversation . we kinda let out and talked about our painful moments and pass. So, i explain to him about this Guy who used to be very important in my life and how did he influenced me. And also to the fact that i haven seen him for one and a half year. But today, i saw his car and him, himself inside. Haha, chilipadi was like my Lucky Charm.


I enjoyed the lunch because most of my doubts were filled w satisfying answer from her.
Thanks, i'd be looking forward to have more lunch lunch w you and so are the others.


I kinda notice one guy has been pretty weird w me, perhaps its my monkey mind again but .. hmmmm' perhaps its myself. not the others. and yea, we're Awesome cause My Mahn J" gaved me and my awesome buddy 4 Free tickets.


More updates tomorrow, cause we re heading to Serasa Beach for the 3rd awesome gathering. :D