love season

hey awesome.

is music my bestfriend? its like my drug? the rythm of my mood. cause it keep me high, it taught me to be stronger :)

is this my love season? cause i felt something growing in my heart. and it focused on certain people and gave them control over my emotions? that sound just so wrong :) -

ain gonna be the girl who look at you there w a knife stab in my heart. ain gonna be. ain gonna be that way. im going to keep negatives energy away from me :) - and my life. so ;

world! i love my God. i do i do and i really do.
thank God for every and all :D i wanna be awesome so i gotta stop having second thoughts. imma just be me :)

lovelovelove


Humbly His,
love always -rui

Leading

wow ! 

such responsibility, im not sure who am i right now or where do i actually stands. am i the leader? am i leading my team? cause im not sure but what im sure is whenever theres problem, when there's a mess or trouble - i will be the person theyre looking for. 

i decide the times, i contact the line. i made decisions, and i feel like im responsible for everything here. 

today was such a mess, two events happen and i was the one to look for. am i trying to lead? i feel like im just trying to do whats right and try to make things right. but now im kinda like expected to lead so when problems occurs im the one to be responsible and handle it. 

i just hope my team will really do their best in their work, i wont blame them tho. because i dont want to break this bond that we have and i dont want to create too many hard times for them but what happen just now really breaks me a little. my tears came out and wow- im feel pretty pressured and all those thing that my mentor says does sound like ive been lectured. 

i know you want answers, but overall. what im showing you perhaps is that im not doing good enough in handling all of this. and im really sorry that your dissapointed but dont expect me to be as you wanted because you may lead me to grow in a wrong way. im not weak, i can definitely do better but please pardon me more space to breatg and grow. 


Humbly His,
love always -rui

its a gift :D

hello world! :D

yesterday me and my lovely cv ians had a gathering. wai ming, sham, reyne, jean, mark and wife, pek ching, del , adek, GB, john, richard, kelvin, raymond ting, siong, mei and etc were there :) thanks to Del's treat :D

it was a depressing day yesterday. but things get better after i met them :) - back to work w Smile :D

today was amazing-er ! fully blast energy today w my boss and b! :) -
i had the most amazing morning ever! :D met lovely people all w smiles.

and i realize, hey! :)
everything was given, everything is a gift.
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. its so true ! :)

all the smiles, love, joy, achievement and all. - theyre gift from God. so always always be thankful :)

i love you Jesus! :D




Humbly His,
love always -rui

Life after CV

hey world.

my world today changed.
well im still me ofcourse , i still work w the same company after 6 months and im starting to love it.
I got an iphone 4 after my first pay and now after 6 month, im finally getting a car of my own. MY OWN CAR! :D and im still 18 <3 - wont be too long till i get older.

I just finished the most amazing course i had ever been to. 'Core Value' - describe the course w one word 'Awesome' and at first i thought my Boss send me over to built up my working skill and etc. Realizing that its a course that changes life ! :) - you'd know if your there!

I really enjoy the environment. on the last day itself, i felt kinda heavy hearted as i was about to leave. After 3 1/2 days' all of us are just like families :) - despite it all, i am committed to join CV -02 ! and i hope to see them there as well, !

First Day After CV !
its was an Awe! i was a Full 10/10 Man!!! people were attracted to my energy 'just as how my boss describe - 'people will be wondering what attracts them over' :)

it was a great experience. and experience that i wouldnt choose to Miss :) and all the wonderful people.

the most awesome part? is when teacher Linda dances w us! My all time fav moment :)

Well so far so good :D
Im going to update ' Journal <3






Humbly His,
love always -rui

Messed again?

hey.

im just so addicted. i always ask people 'how you doing' and i always replied the same 'im doing good' - am i really doing good?

i just read my last post, regarding my heartbroken-ness. but thanks to my loving brother and sisters who comforted me with His words. - Uncle Nick, Sister Yanshiang and Sister Geri. - thanks.

Brother and i went to see JustinBieber Never Say Never and its really a good movie. His just this little kid having such a great experience of life. imagine within 1second theres about 33 tweets. just within one sec! imagine that. People are just so obssessed with Him and - whats that, that makes em all so obssessed?
If he were to come over to Brunei- i feel like kidnapping him :D
had a movie marathon for the very first time w my bro - but in the night, i tried to have a serious conversation w him - being honest or being too truthful really can hurt. people just change as time passed, you may felt this way now but the next second you can felt in another way.

My Job has been pretty good. im working well - its just a heartbreak when its so hard for me to get a car. my aunt wants to sale her peugeot 307 - im thinking well actually i really do wanna have it. but she then advised me not to due to the maintainence. - geez' so what now? God can.you help me?

i need a break from these drama! i dislike when i really wanna do something and in the end i just cant. first i wanted to loan a car - suzuki swift like i really wanted to. but then i decided not to, rather used my dad's old car. but my dad's car just broke down after 3days of using it. wtf?
Now another offer to have that car which highly maintainece. you know what? - Just when i want it- and then someone says 'no' its like - what now?

i really do want it so stop telling me 'no' dont use the word 'regret' cause i have trauma with that word ! :( - God, i think i do want that car. because its cheap and i need a ride anyway - if these werent for me then why it keep coming to me and then let off just like that?

Toyota Vios is like july? im just not a patient character. i want it so i can do something. -
am i wrong to decide myself ? im just confused and worried.

My Parents. im just speechless.


Today is Easter everyone. i dont really understand what easter means. people been baptised and im not - Papa, tell me why?
Maybe i dont need any explaination, i should just put my Trust unto you. Pops, i want that ride within this week please. - hastags iprayy!

Humbly His,
love always -rui

8th april

on the eighth of april wasnt pretty awesome. but what does it mean when it ain awesome?

this morning was a big messed when we failed to plan a technique for the war. i guess its true when they say ' if you fail to plan, you plan to fail ' and we did failed. sorry guys cause i wasnt doing good today. i failed to plan and i planned a failure war.

its not just one, but two. two failed. second we made some plans but we received wrong information and played the wrong play. messed up! and once again we lost.

i wasnt so down, im still strong! im still ready for battles. but things changed when i received a call. my heart kinda drowned away. forget it! i love and care for him too much and that i didnt even noticed that his always in my heart.

im not jealous. im just feeling upset, that have you ever thought how would i feel? why everything i asked from you, you'd always reject me. but you always get it for them? why would you buy it for them thing they just asked for but you wouldnt get me things i beg for? God , i wanted to have a good heart, but this really make me felt not nice. and i dont want this feeling. forgive me for feeling this way.

probably im wrong :)
forget it, i just pray that tomorrow when im back. i'd be able to get good sales and built up the team in the right way. so sorry for all the mistake today. sorry for not doing my best today. sorry for everything. i doubt that tomorrow will be busy and more challanging. please show me the way :) love you, God.

im going home early.
rest then shopping w my sis <3

last night, i went shopping. instead of my gathering w my brother and sisters. i post it on fb and second thought i was afriad that they might judge me badly. but then i didnt erase it because what am i afriad to show the world? judge me anyway you want because God sees right in my heart. He shall judge me. sorry, God. and thankyou :)

i hate when my feelings are running low and down :O



Humbly His,
love always -rui

hey readers of the day :)

i guess im not much of a gym freak anymore and definitely not a spinning freak. didnt believed it but it seems that brother zee's spinnijg class doesnt appear on the list for april. - the question is 'he quit'?

i was at gym twice , doing my own thang. and i guess its good to workout every once in a while. i thought it'd be boring to go to gym alone but its alright cause i have my iphone to entertaint me well :) - sitting in the airport ' i even see a group of family owning iphones' its like everyone has it.

when i was w my old phone. i just wanted to have something better, i wanted an iphone and when i had an iphone i just stopped. i just want this! only if the new version happened maybe that might light up my cravings but yea. :) i thought people desire just to have more and wont stop because nothing can really satisfy us but this feeling that i already had it. i felt enough :) - ( will do my next experiment when new iphone comes ) :D

work has benn fine. salary soon! and imma go shopping soon w my brother :D

i love God! it was like few days ago. when i had troble and oops he saved me again. His pure awesome :D



Humbly His,
love always -rui