ohboyy :)

Just a kid with a Bigger Dream -
Oh Boy :) Atleast i've tried tho it's not everything yet but yea i did Tried like to so many places already. In the end, rejected - what can i say ? :) It's the reputation that i've build and the assumptions of support that i assumed would be there whenever i needed it.
But i guess some or most part of it i was wrong :)


hmm. not to mention much - shall resume, to the end till there's no way baru tah. :)
much love,
ruiyee.

 Good Morning Love. :)
Your love is so wonderful to me.  
i'm so Lucky to have you! 

School is not a place for me. :)

Previously, i have been quite business minded :)
Again as i mentioned that who wouldn't want to be Financial Freedom? and i hearing this two words coming out from my dad's lips ever since i was form 5 ? yeah, that was 3 years ago. 3 years ago, i'm just that lazy person who just loves to hang out with my friends. i don't like studying, not that i hate it .. it's just not something i really like to .. 
back when everyone is trying to eat their biology books and etc, i was just relaxing .. i could say i didn't even really studied for my o levels and my result shows. :)

20th Feb 2012

Hello readers,


Business minded on the Go` but unfortunately my lazy ness is slowing me down. :)
i guess just like many others, i myself would like to find a way where i dont have to work but i know money is coming in. :) who doesn't? So far, this work has a Good pay and the fact that they invested on me to visit Taiwan - just at my second month of work is not something that happens everyday. And next tour would be 'Korea' - i know there's 2 tour leaving at the same day but different island. One of my senior asked about when i started work and etc. Well, she's either complaining about me or she's actually writing a suggestion letter to my Boss (for me to tour lead Korea trip) 


The thoughts of having 2 nights overnight at Seria, KB already worries me. Because there's someone that i dont want to stay too far from. And Korea? well, sounds exciting but my heart would always be just right here. :) reminder before i leave ' ROAMING for my Phone' :)
a Gadget that has wi-fi Please? :) so this time no IPAD because ... it's SOLD.
so, how am i going to go online with you, love? *sort it out later*


Business talk! :D 
so what's great in Korea? might consider buy&sale :)
but anyway why am i talking about this, cause im still not sure whether am i chosen or not.




i dont like the paperworks :)






Love has been , well the usual up and downs. :D
His just a Guy that i dont ever wanted to lose.
. last <3 
thanks for being patient and understanding.

updates

Hello readers,


so .. wait, let me check what's my previous post about. 


back*


so it's about that .. i guess it's getting a lot more better than before. perhaps it's because i haven been thinking about that much, last valentine's eve - we had a tiny gathering at The Arch organized by uncle wai, and alot showed up. It's good to see their faces again after a long while ' being thankul that theyre willing to take the time and attend this gathering. Yea, the most thrilling part for me is when John and his young boy came - he always gives me a lot of energy - but it's Fun, his a really busy guy and seldom shows up so .. :)
and yea, haven seen or heard anything from Brother Jonathan - forgotten to ask John about him. hmm*
too bad Sham wasn't there. Good to see reyne, all the way from KB ! :)

Fear ;)

i found this - do change the wife to husband because this is from me to you. ;)

and yeah, you meant the world to me.

yeah, i guess at the point my impatient ness is also an advantage because can't wait to do this and that and this and that.

---------------------------------------------------------------

im runnning away, running away, running away.

is there any song that can sing how i feel inside right now?

not really. ;) 

i just wanted to check - so i facebooked uncle wai ( my super 10 twin )

whether is he invited to the dinner tonight ? and well, he updated me that nowadays they are moving in smaller group - dinner and sharing. so not everyone is invited. ohboyy, hey i get what you mean but why that invitation made me felt as if im a VICTIM ? yeah, too much fear within already. Next Question is, if i always run away from this .. perhaps - im unconsciously making a decision of not being in this environment already ?

how to i start ? ;)  i have more than one account. another account that have the same respective username as my default account was created around june after my first course, as i was behind the idea of creating secret group for ourselves and it became a trend for them. As because Everyone was amazed by our bond and connection for the 99th Group, as some of us including me have step up alot in organizing events and gathering, bringing in more energy into the environment might have earn their favor in us. 

as i have left the environment for quite a while. Because getting into this environment, we need to start the story from where i first started work at my previous Job. so yes, one of the main reason that im not showing up too much is because i dont feel comfortable seeing my previous boss. I dont have much bad things to tell about them, no they treated me very well - the only thing is the SYSTEM that was created. My Boss may consider himself as the 'system' and assuming that im talking negative things about him. well go ahead, ;) just need to know that, your always remembered. i've shared my fear before .. that i fear if i ever leave that company, i would lose their care and love at the same time. so sorry that i dont even give you a chance to talk to me, tho you mentioned that your love and care would still be there but i guess those words are not valid after what i have done. Fair Enough! ;)

im not ready ;)

not ready to face you guys yet.

so about tonight, im still not sure if i want to join or not.

we are making choices everyday, and yea - im aware that im choosing to escape.

because just like myself, there's too many judgement.

------------------------------------------

hello Sister Yan.

She loves to know hows my work doing :D

work has been fine, really really fine. im just on my own doing my own thing.

but i realize it's either my passion doesn't burn well here or i didnt let myself to be well nurtured. ;)

-------------------------------------

things happens in a relationship.

it's not always easy and many times i just can't afford to harden my heart towards him. ;)

this is for you from my heart ;)

In times of trouble, dont run away. times of difficulties, dont hide. when things got harder, dont act as everything alright. Dont be too harsh on yourself, just be gentle. i will accept you for who you are and what you have, just like you accepting me for who i truly am. Dont worry because those little things wont lessen my love for you. as i always says, it's the moments that counts - as long as we're always always always happy together. so if there's anything Share .. any problem lets find some way to make it right to make this relationship work. ;) aroso ?

lofe you hidayat <3

 

today ?

Lazy bug attack ! ;)

This feeling is not the first time, once in a while this feeling would visit me and just make me feel like a mess. and i guess because it's a holiday season now because the lazy bug is back in town :D  

so many appointment in a day - 5 things to do and i always end up just fulfilling one only. yea, feeling bad that i wasn't there at xavier's open house which he texted me and said ' thanks for not coming to my open house' but yea i met him w his ..... IS 300c lol, he wants to keep it low profile? :D i didnt went to church, cause i wasnt feeling it that much - this feeling tells me that i just want to be in BED. just teranah dirumah saja, :') but yeaa, didnt want to put off another airplane. so i was on time, friend invited me an hour early so i was there standby for that long. :D thanks for the invite jiamin - BBQ + Steamboat. 

as i was driving, alot came to my mind.

my desire to purchase a new gadget, and i tried to ask myself deeper why do i want to ?

and i couldn't find a reason strong enough but to realize i dont know how to appreciate the gadget that i have now ;) sorry nokia - am i wrong if i said, i hope you could be a better gadget.? in a relationship yeaa, that would be wrong but .. in the gadget world. NAH ~ ;) *nonsense*

do you know how exactly i get away from my previous job? yea i was working happily there, with people whom i considered as my family. who cares for me and who see me more than others, but unfortunately i was giving them hint - then they wanted me to be more patient which is not in my dictionary, finally i just left without giving anyone anymore chance to say a word. 

it was 2 months ago when i left. i sent a letter of 24 hour notice - not a month but just 24 hour and just left a place where i was nurture for a year, all the care, love and guidance given were taken for granted? or am i just simply a person who dont know how to appreciate? yeah, perhaps - babyboy (my car) is just an excuse for me to say that they wages i was given ain enough. if i dont have babyboy - would i stay ? 

maybe what big fish said was right, as my choice has show what i prior the most. but i denied it, - as my family pour in more perspective regarding my work . i have agreed with them and did as they advised. not giving my previous company any chance to take any advantage on me and at the same time, im afraid to give them even a moment to talk to me because i know if they were to .. i wouldnt continue to stay...

have my work makes me a happier person ?

i would say , it's totally a different thing from my previous work. i wouldnt enjoy being in the same position if i stayed at my previous company. staying in this company does secure my wages than before, travelling have been one of my dream but now it will be a bit different if someone special is missing :)

no, im not a happier person .. because there are things unsettled. and fear is overcoming me, tho it seems that slowly slowly the universe is trying to get me to face this Fear.

love?

loving a person and keeping it constant is not easy, especially letting go of your own ego, be more understanding ;) what i realize is that when you fall in love a person, you dont really know them until time passed by and you realize that they are just like every other people, just like you and me - imperfect. And from there - learning to love a person's imperfectness , as no matter what situation bad or good - learning to accept them as who they are, and still love them the same. no less but more. ;)

loving you- hidayat kms.

too many thoughts to share,

now back to pemalas mode. :D