one word 'weeirrrddd'

Great ! Just Great ( referring to another sleepless night )
i've lost count of how many times i stayed awake within this month , and today is not an exception.

what should be on my mind , i struggled . am i worrying about things i dont even had to ?

either the coffee had me stayed wide awake or the prob which has been wondering in my mind for the past 4 hours and continue .

Problems ey , they're hard to deal with .

If that prob i assumed really existed between us , i would say .. Its totally not worth it, i cherish what we had more than most of what i own. you know how i wouldnt confess my feelings toward that guy, but if its for this relationship sake .. I will confess right on spot , 'out loud' if request.

nahh, thats just an idea of how much i didnt want to jeopardize whatever we had.

Seasons, pass.

waiting patiently for the next chap.

Love, ruiyee.

Moooooooooody ? :/

Days has been fine, but what's bothering me at such moment ? What's my emotion and feelings trying to tell me by trashing my mood away ? Smiles weren't to be found much today and i wonder where they went for vacation.. i was fine last night, being all overjoy, overwhelmed and stuff .. but today it seems like i forgot how to smile, something must have gone wrong i doubt.

I tried to take my mind off for a while, so i can install my mind with other things to care ..

.....

knock on the head**

i found out what makes me so moody todayy . 

Ans : i didnt had enough rest :) cause after i had 100 Plus. fizzzyyy <3

i extra 25% AWAKE :)

Phewwwwwww ! ~~ *

Sweats :)

Today, i met Syasa :) it was so coincidence. :) Thank God actually cause i told Him that it's been months that i haven meet them. And today, He perform a wonderful thing again. :) Praise be to Him. I'm currently at yanshiang's place, picking up Jones later. :D

Smiles :)

The Changes In Me ,

I'm a sinner, and i was reborn ;) by His Grace.



Today, we planned to go hiking together. i missed twice, and this was my very first time hiking with Sister Yanshiang, Sally and Bro Jones. while waiting for Sally to arrive, Bro Jones and i start off with badminton warm up. it was his second time playing and he surprise me, someone who never played badminton can play that well. volleyballing hurts me bad. ;D


Hiking was fun, but i was as slow as a turtle. Thanks for lovely sis, whom went all the way down just to buy me some snacks. ;D if it wasnt for her, i think i would had faint because i only had dinner and i was so hungry when we reach shahbandar. ;D



I'm suchh a turtle ! ;S i need to work out, keeep fit , hike moree ! because i do desires to join the KK trip on March . pray pray pray ;)


we had dinner together, overall.. it was a great night. i know i had a great night. ;)





the worries that tries to rule my world, dont think Pops would allow that to happen. Because i got my guardian angel right by my side, He'll take care of me well. ;)


 The Changes In Me

As i waited, for sister's arrival. i sat at our back door, enjoying as the cool wind blow against me. i sat , and started to pray . i Thanked Him for this wonderful life He'd given me, and this wonderful day he had bless upon every one of us.


I then recalled years ago, i was sitting at the exact same position crying over the life i had. Asking, wondering, Blaming over everything that i faced. I asked God for an explaination and i told Him how i really hoped that He could just take the days away from me, destroy this place was what i asked for.


But years later, today , i sat at the exact same place with a gratitude heart and thank Him for loving me and every single thing that He done for me. He changed me, His my everything.


Life now is really awesome, altho i faced many worries, problems, tears and etc. But His always there holding on to me and overcome everything with Me. His God, what you think he couldn't do. He can do anything , everything ;)


__________________________________________________________________________


The troubles that cause me to lose my smile, i'll just close my eyes and carry my heart gently, waiting patiently with lots of faith. i know it's going to be alright. I'd kiss the sky everytime when he helped me overcome a mountain. His the MAN ! ;)



I'm so in love w you ~ !



Thanks for a great day, Sister Yanshiang, Sally & Brother Jones.

Esp Sis YS ! ;) Thankyou <3


Love,ruiyee

worried

Why do i feel broken-ed , the smile i used to have on my face. i know that smile, i feel it because it just came out of me whenever my heart glows, but that smiles seems to be overtaken by a worried facial expression.


i'll always be the little child who needs her Father.




Thanks sister yanshiang and brother Jones for your prayers. :)

Just a dream

When the place where all your memories are stored is falling apart, should we be sad and be broken-ed ? Or should we be happy because we once had such wonderful memories together ? Should we stay strong and give it a last big goodbye kiss and hug ? or should we cry over the wonderful memories that we no longer can continue?

I dreamt of my brother and sister last night, i saw him in his blue sleeveless shirt, i was hesitating but i dared myself to smile and greeted him warmly. i saw her, in black long sleeves .. we were having fun together like we used to and brother was around, other people was there as well.

*are these the picture i wanted to have in reality? *

i wanted to return, touch the place for the very last time before it's closed down. going back, the smiles, the talk, the laughter. 

im so messed up ! 

i feel like im sinking in the ocean for quite sometime now, waiting patiently for a oxygen tank to fall by my side so i can take another breath again. or waiting patiently for a hand to pull me up. 

" maybe i'm just dreaming because i wanted it to be that way, and maybeeee.. it's just a dream for me now "

love,ruiyee

unexpected tuesday

Today wasn't pretty-licious much. Maybe because the day was dull and everything felt pretty much empty. Mom called with a news that i hope i didn't knew, and now i'm lost about what should i do to make this right again. Should i thicken my face and try to at least strive for it? Or should i just ignore and let it be , not even trying everything ? well, i need to Pray about it.

I was expecting today, i did ..

And so, as the time passed by .. when it's almost there, nature tells me that it ain going to happen today . I was yet calm to think that " Maybe it wasn't meant to be .. " i shouldn't be either upset or dissapointed because there's nothing i could do to force a difference.

My heart felt shaky and i felt as if i'm going to be a baby tonight seeking for His arm. i want to be under His love, because it's Peace there. (; Only He can make me feel better. (: 

I sense something is not right, i think my sis is somehow troubled. i hope she's doing alright and dont take it too hard. let it go, and let the peace comes in. (; 

"it's like a wall that i couldn't break through."

problems

Hey readers,

A very sunny day today, brother and i went to coffee zone. It was his first time there, :) i ordered a Hot Chocolate, but he didnt enjoy the drink. Sister Yanshiang visited me just now, and it's very sweet of her to do so. Lucky i heard her call, or else we wouldnt had meet today. we talked about some things and this and that. Sometime i felt as if i'm out of words like i dont even know what should i talked about, and there are times when i get so hyper i can talk without taking a second to breath. who am i really, ..

I contact some people, to ask about the registration and i thank God that someone is willing to help. His willing to check through my work before i submitted it. Thanks ! :) it's a relief. 

I was having trouble with fear last few days. but God helped me overcome, we can never escape the life of many challenges and problems. When problems approach, what kind of attitude we used to welcome it? Some choose to give up, they thought they couldn't get through it. But some believes that, everything happens for a reason and decide to take the pain.

I guess everyone knows that, No pain no Gain. if we don't have all these problems and challenges in life, we'll never grow. So, im thinking at this very moment.. maybe this very moment is also what has been planned, it was planned that today i would sit here in Jolibee blogging and doing some other things.  Do you believe that everything happens for a reason ? Do you believe that even by you sitting there right now was meant to be?

Our life, it's been perfectly planned. My past, regard the bad and the goood ... everything was meant to be and if my past didnt happened that way, i wouldnt be sitting here. or even met the new smiles of life - The wonderful brother and sister in Christ. 

well, not only that... Life hasn't stop, and it's also said that life's definitely not a destination so where i am now is just part of my journey... part of my life.

who knows what's my next journey would bring me and what new smiles will i met in my life. so, i guess even today or tomorrow ... when bad times, challenge visits us .. maybe we should take it in a good way and settle them with the right attitude. so, does that mean i dont have to worry about tomorrow just live today to my fullest ?  ... "still thinking about that part"

im still wondering about my life, what kind of life God has given me. (;

actually after few days, a very special friend of mine is having his birthday. i planned for his birthday few months or even last year. i did, and really wanted to celebrate his birthday for him. But it's just so sad that i dont think i could do it for him. because my nights very almost fully booked. i felt so bad, and upset .. sighs*

This year has been great, not only i get to know more friends.. i think it's really a blessed year . i hope and pray that 2011 will be better. :)

" Love till it hurts so it'll hurts no more"