What if tomorrow never comes

Suddenly this thought came into my mind, what if tomorrow never comes. What would you do? Remember when we were younger, well even older people does this, they would asked if you only have certain of days to live what would you do?

My answer used to be ' I'd travel as many places as I could' maybe I could rob the bank , or giving it back :)
But after all that I've learned and experienced. My answer now is ' appreciate the people whom came across my life ' :)

If tomorrow never comes, what would you do.

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Appreciation

the topic yesterday during pow wow lunch was "appreciation" which as i described appreciation about life. But what others really trying to share is appreciation about the people around them, their friends, close ones, families.


K urged that we really appreciate our parents as his parents just passed recently, J shared his realization when he was a Log, he shared deeply. went back to work, alignment with my team and i shared what we learn in Pow wow lunch about appreciation. D shared her care for her mother and how much she wishes that her mom would be healthier. F wasn't at this best self as he shared his unsolved situation with his mom.


i hardly have a deep connection with my parents. I hardly think of my parents face in my mind, i can only picture them when i was a little child as young as 6. That smile, i remember dad used to wear his coat to work, he used to comb his hair before work. Mom loves to bring me out, she loves me and he loves me. they wanted me to learn piano but i was too afraid to be away from them, even going to school i always have many butterflies in my tummy. 


So much has happened over this 13 years, everyday a wall had built in between us. it feels like Life has changed so much already, as i have more brothers they carried more responsibility, life no longer be the same for me. Mom used to dress me up like a princess and ties my hair before i go to school but im doing it all alone now.


When i think of my parents, i dont really feel that much.
Mother had left, as time passed. it just tells me that i can survive without one.
Dad was always busy with whatever he is doing, we argue alot alot alot.
i just want to avoid unnecessary conversation 

My Life Today

When i see other's people's life, at times when illusion sank into my mind. Times when oh my gawd, how come they could be like that? and im all here feeling this shit? 

What's this shit ? describe please !

well basically i'm just feeling a bit lost. what kind of life do i want and at this situation where nothing seems to be stable, what can i do ? there seems to be a wall in between me and my confidence because i kinda lost them. I got affected by illusions, they stopped me from being who i wanted to be. Pop Pop Pop !*

I should appreciate myself, reflect and do journal! 

I remember when my aunt asked me a question while we re argue-ing or something. She questioned that what kind of life would i choose if i were to given the ability to choose?" 

My answer is that i'd still choose this life, and i wouldnt want to exchange this life with anyone else"   - why did i said that? 

What kind of life are you having right now?

- reflecting mode*

It was also part of my fault to let my ego runs over me and take the lead. 

Going with the flow is the answer

While waiting for the movie to start, we had some food at the secret recipee and its brother RA's treat so many thanks. Having some conversation about my 99th group, which caught me wondering what am I doing and what should I do?

'keep it that way' - going with the flow.
Whats our intention of having this group? Keeping everyone connected and sharings as well. Perhaps I somehow lost mind and forgotten that point. Having to have this thoughts and oneself arguement to align myself, why am I doing this?

So the gatherings, what do they really mean? I sometime says that it'd be like a short break after a long weekend as we just have fun. But thats somehow what I wanted and not what they would expected.

Perhaps His right, they wanna grow as well. So which part am I playing for this? Whats the next move? Perhaps I need to look for bigger guys and listen to more to learn.

Anyways, bestday all.
Much love

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baby growing up

My BabyBoy is not with me now his somewhere far getting himself fixed up. He got into a fight and hurt his right eye, i couldn't blame myself but i'm just going to be positive and let him know i love him, and im proud that he grown up to be a Mahn now. :)


Went all the way to somewhere far for this incident. But so far so good everything is alright, i just didnt want them to know what exactly happen because i dont want confrontation. caught myself eys.


I didnt want to face the consequences of not listening and ignoring  advises resulted to face my own ignorance in the end. So, i kept quiet just waiting the time to pass :)


still waiting for the chance to boom my account :D

ON TOUR :)

 Dizah and her guest while doing the Free transit Tour :)

 im walking on sunshine yeaaa haaaa  (im working in sunshine) 

 She like taking pictures ey :) - first time kana belanja by her.

thiking the food much be extra yummy-er. thanks dza.

 In picture ; Abang Pijul and Ad Musa

Pijul lost weight, look at his face and he used to be so lampoh :)

congrats bro, nice to know that life is good for you. 

 Dizah and Pita Burger :) model of the day

 Diza, our guide and our beloved driver, Sutrisno :)

One of my best photo where as Ad Musa looks like a sticker sticked on a blur background.

two thumbs up :)

Its not about the money money money,

why is material goods and awesome things are starting to attract me more and more?

The mindset of, we will never be satisfy of what we have and we will keep wanting more.

that words came more real to me because i couldn't stop have the desire of having more.

Money is the root of all evil ? would this statement still stand if money were to be one of the factors to help people in needs? What is life for me now when my desire has grown towards material goods. Back to the question, what is my intention of having all of this?

Where is the sense of APPRECIATING and ENOUGH is ENOUGH?

what is enough ? because it never feels enough. And this will distance me away to many things i know. Where will this lead? My desire of having more material good is over ruling my thoughts.

ALIGNMENT is REQUIRED or i will Mess up myself.

Godbless me well :)

love Jesus