; revealing my motive.
- i wanted to know that i matters even just a little to you. i want
to get the answer by the way you treated me, but the coldplay played ; i had myself confused and lost.

great, so whats the next thing to be done.


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i dislike this feeling, and this is the second time where as the same motives brought me to the same place all over again.

' think of a better way to solve this ?'
- i dont know, perhaps i was wrong to expressed what i actually hoped for, now that they stopped most of my wishes.

i should take my heart out and stop falling in love,
but im not :( -'im not in love w him anymore' ain wrong to spend time w a friend right ?

evil
motives-

how are you brother :) - hows life so far.
i missed the times where we talked alot :) -
sorry for all the troubles.

my ambition grew more as i grow, now that i wanted more and i guess, we're just big tigers and no one is willing to take a step back, one day - congratulate us for getting hurt.

im sorry for being moody today- God please brighten up my day again.

love, ruiyee



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a lost kid tonight

; i kept thinking about tomorrow' and it kinda brings my feelings to a worry state.
and being worried, doesnt seems to be any help as i asked myself to find the purpose of being worry.

the feeling of being worried about tomorrow might not be the kind of day i wanted, being worried about the rapid, unexplainable change that i refuse to accept. but why didnt i understand the fact that being worried is not a way, not a cure, not a wise thing.

' i dont wanna miss a thing ' - neither do i. but these words contains insecure-ness that seems to be like squeezing our heart tightly *breathless*

why am i always worried :) - i sound like a kid

but then after asking myself why am i being so worry over things that may/ may not happen which are all beyond my control. - i couldnt find the answer but i realize that being worry and kept reminding myself about the bad possibilities of a particular outcome is so worthless.

but who am i when i dont worry about everydays outcome, who am i if i were a person who just doesnt think about tomorrow. show me how to be a person who stop worrying about things :) -

i guess , everything is meant to be :) - were once meant to be so close, but were also meant to be a little further apart rigt after that. meant to be so close with another part of you but not sure hows the future mend our futures :) i wonders whats the story for tomorrow, the things that was planned to be happen, i wonders why have you planned in such a way, i also wonders why have you show me what i've seen so far, felt so far, hear so far and for so much you have taught and given me, i wonders what you want me to do with everything that youve equiped me from the very start. the life that you planned amazingly for me before i was even borned, i wonders what are they :)

Lord, before the day i was born. You had planned this very moment, this very second is what i always believed :) - that everything is goong according to your plans :) God, im trying to be strong learning to understand your ways upon everything youve put me through and everything you let me felt. the lesson learned, love blessed.

today, tonight- i were to wonder all theses perhaps im just trying to find an answer or trying to give myself an excuses. - i dislike the fact that i want to like someone when i dont even know them, what evil advantage do i have in mind to persuade my mindset to look forward for such events that werent meant to be ? why do i have such thoughts and ambition. perhaps my thoughts had run pass the negative-ness. my apologizes :)

; Give me an answer so i could stop drowning in this mad-ness :)

im just a lost worried kid tonight :) - but God heals and i know i'd be better tomorrow -smiles

love, ruiyee

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where are you, love.

urging for acceptance - screw that mind set ! dont need the world to love you, dont seeek for them but God.

- dude , its been such a long while already. what took you so long ? ' may God let him appear in my life soooon :D and thanks God for my beloved God ma and brothhas :) im more blessed and love - all given by Jesus <3


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86 days of work.

greetings :)

so what you have for me :)

how am i , well im doing fine cause work has beeen great tho its tired-ing but so far so gooood :) everyday well, doesnt seems to be too boring :D
as yesterday brother and i played pool :) scored 3-3. the last shot was shocking :) sweeeeeeet <3

saw simon and alfred hii while we were on our way back :)

its quite quiet today, nothing much to do. atleast i have this phone to spend most of my time with. checking things up and :) well , im thinking of buying a lappy ' shoooot me :) hows mac book sound ? expensive - doubt it :)

seems like the problem that i envolve is ain that easy to be solved. where as for the mean time im still having troble w it :) but lets just be thankful because. God had lighten up a second way out :) so i wont get lost in the dark.

quite sleeeeepu at the moment and no ' cant sleeeep. about faceboook ' well alot if people kept selling their gooods and it sound just like everyone neeeds cashh. well who doesnt :)

nyeeep' i do like that guy but i dont think thing will fall into awesome ness betweeen us. lets just say im happy because his still cool w me :D

" i know this is unappropriate but how old are you ? " is what i got twice yesterdayy :D the old lady even asked me in a scary way like its such a serious case :D -well i just turn 18 few months ago :)

i haven been writing my diary but so far todayy its my 86 days of work :)

wave wave love-
i shall rest now :D

love ruiyee m


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early mowning

ahh.

few mins left till i start a tour.
im hungry la ! *complaining

well, i gained tons of weight and decided to watch my food (: but im thinkingnof having nasi katok later (: is that okay? i mean to eat nasi katokk , but anyhoo im hungry so shaddup :P

sing a song for me * randoms

i think they know who i like :( but does that even matters because i think i like him but im trying not
to. - well, shouldnt matter cause it ain a crime to like someone so i shouldnt hide :)

work is like WAR~ :D
and im afriad to be defeated esp when the opponent keeep saying how they want to claim their victoryyy~ but God bless me , may all that i won or lost is given and that i have no control over
things that had happened :)

love is like 'something squeezing in my heart' -thats not love :D

* inviting you towards the exit in my heart :) shooooo~

love ruiyee :)


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smiles (: ily

smile :D

currently, im sitting blogging w/o taking my shower yet (:

tomorrow is my offday (: like really really offday.
i didnt really have a REAL offday but tomorrow - 'this is it' :D finally <3
not that im suffering and this is a bad job. its awesome (: so awesome that i dont really wanna have an offday but i had to because i dontwanna be a work a holic. oops :$

i realise im so silly (: i just made the fooliest mistake that even a fool knows they shouldnt do that. but i put myself into such situation (: i dont wanna blame myself too much, just assuming a lesson learnt :D
just thank God because whatever the result is, His holding on to me and making sure his babygirl doesnt fall (:

i had a fine day (: a koko that sayang me ( finally ! ) but koko seems to have a big dream and most probably might pursue it. :( means koko wants to leave liaoo. couldnt find another koko like him :D his the only onee ^^.

yipees , im going to CG tomorrow :D
missed them and the fooooood course :D
last few days was a blast as we were having dinner at the rads & the fooood there is awesome to the max (: - thanks for inviting <3

ohh yea , i gained tooo much weight and tomorrow im going to be a good hardworking girl. i had to lose weight and get back to where am suppose to be :D
gym? -sorry, if i dont own a car; i ain going gym (: but i missed the love there :D

whats awesome ? - He is !!

ohh gawd tomorrow is the return, guard it !
dont let the feelings flow~ (:

gotta go && i love all of youuu <3
ruiyee.


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