in doubt.

Hello Life,


i was having a slight headache just now, but now i'm all alright. (;
i was being a bit lazy , because the things i wanted to do can't be done as i wanted and i need to postponed it to tomorrow. just as i decided to do it tomorrow, i realized that there's some more things that i was assigned to do. But i'm so sorry because i ain delaying this. so .. imma need to push the assignment aside to my brother. 


meeting Ash today, really .. caught me.
I guess he won the Game tonight because his feeling Good. - feeling happy to have met me today, and as i was saying that i've was feeling quite lazy and decided maybe i'll just meet ash the day after but he insisted that he wanted to meet me tonight. even tho his somewhere quite far, he ran all the way with his friend just to meet me. But why was i being so ungrateful ? where's my heart, maybe i dropped it somewhere along the way ? my mind was caught .. and i have no clue what caught it.. 


as we're finishing off, i dropped Ash and his friend along the way. He explained that he was feeling lucky today because of me. and he thanked me because for him - i thought him everything " and i was like - wow, that's Deep mahn.. 'really?' i questioned, he nodded, he said tho it's not like everything everything but yeaa, everything. i was .. out of thought.. but i realized that .. i was able to change a person's life so much.


i had a lot of thought in my mind on the way back. 
i don't know who am i .. how was i able to do what i did? re calling the first time i met Ash and how was i affecting his life .. not much actually, but boyy .. to him .. he cared for me alot. he ran from Yayasan just to met me and because he said he'd be there in 15mins when he was waiting for his meal and because his meal was late .. He used the jungle short cut and rushed the last 5 mins left..


Thanks so much Ash. 
i'm sorry if i hurt you in anyway. 


do i deserve all those care?


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After saying all that i just said -
Perhaps my past still hunts me at time and i'm always trying to shift out of it.
There's always something deep within me that is trying to pull that smile i have on my face. 


Dear God,


life is Good, life is Great, Life is Amazing, Life is Awesome.
Thank you for all that i have and had. Thank you for loving me <3
Thank you for This life, keep me strong and still.
Dont let anything break me. - (;




truly,
rui