so sick !

hey readers,

its so sad that i get so sick . 

" i miss being sick after not being sick for so long " is what i said when i get got a lil sore throat and assumed it'll recover in no time. but what was unexpected was the night when i got weaker.

Last few nights , i got really weak and sick . trying to overcome being HOT and COLD ! i was shivering cold but also having high fever as well. having sore throat, flu and also cough . Yesterday was worst , silly me was letting the fever burning me for more than 6 hours until my ears was slightly blocked, ( couldnt hear properly ) and in the night ! my tongue lost its ability to do its work . the left over food was stuck on my tongue and it didnt digest .. i was like shock how ill i became .

but i felt better today , i ate panadol after every 4 hours to avoid the fever to return , i drank cough syrup also every four hours . i felt like i might overdose .

its not fun being sick at all because i couldnt join much activities !

i missed CG last night and maybe i might miss hiking later with sis .

but also thank to everyone for their prayers :)

i know i'll get well soon.

love, ruiyee

memories fading ,

Barney stinson is Awesome , thats where i picked up the word 'awesome' and constantly applying it resulted nicknames both for me and my bestie syasa as 'miss awesome' we had a hand gesture as well , and reminds me times when people hand out the awesome gesture when they see us .

I missed the time where i spend most of my days waiting as the time reaches 5.15pm , 6.15pm , 7.15pm . as we line ourself up for the scheduled classes every day , we wonders ourselves when any familiar member didnt come , its like a family thing that we do together .

you 'll guarantee to walk back home w packets of smiles and laughter back home , your always been welcome with SMILES !

to me , its like a candy world for a kidd . with candy coaster rides and .. - its just a wonderland . a place where , almost everyone dreamt of having ' to me ' its like ...

its suppose to be sad because that place is making some changes ! theyre going to tear up the place , that contained so much memories to me . every spot holds various moments , and soon it'll turn to an empty place .

' do not hold on to your past , our eyes are made in front to look forward and not backwards '

' just be thankful because you had it before , better than you having nothing at all'

smile ,
love ruiyee

the ' Great night

silent night , :)

little Girl had a Great time last night , more people !! know what , its awesome hanging out w loads of smiles .

the smiles were , sister yanshiang , brother Jones , Andy , CG , sister Alyssa and her sis , sister wendy and her brother ! Normally its just four of us after yF , but last night was merrier , and i loike it . Its FUN ! we went to Mamih , and i had teh tarik india !! :3

i spent my day at home w my tv ! back to the old routine , :D im looking for a JOB ! anyone that needs your laundry done , ?

Hey , the night was Great . I never hung out w sister alyssa , her sister and wendy . So , i think its cool that people starting to know more about people . It was the first hangout i had after i returned from somewhere , the feeling remains 'awesome'

i cant wait for Christmas and do my sharing w new faces , im going to be LOUD ! :D

also thanks a million both sister yanshiang and brother Jones for the prayer ,really needed it.

Nights all ,* have a blessed night .

Love, ruiyee

22th sept

; breathless !

you know , when you get off a plane and you'll get to see local people there just next to the plane's door - standing by . I went to phils first and the filipino were there , next hongkong , then phils again ! and this time , my very first time ( i think ) to get off a plane and see local bruneians , im actually very happy that im back home atlast and the fact that these local standing there , reminding that im not dreaming .

Met John and lyza !

out of the arriving hall , i saw john ray standing outside . What a surprise , after that came lyza asking me about my trip and suggested i should visit cebu . - yeaa ' haha why not ? (:

about my trip

i need to be a good girl someday , sitting down w my new lappy (if i got one) and start writing all about my trip ! (:

im really exhausted coming back from here and there , i didnt enjoy the taste of it and maybe i would be staying for couple of months here , altho i got another place to visit next month . considering , maybe i might not go .

love

my favourite topic of all . Love , (:

oh probs -error-
*to be continued

God , my everything.
thank God that im back in whole , love Him always.

till next tyme,
xoxo'r

12th and 13th sept

12th sept 2010

heyys ,

currently at hongkong airport , waiting for the ferry as we'll be heading to Guangzhou next .

last night , went to brunei airport at 12am , we waited few hours till 2.25 am our first flight to manila . there were lots of people with us , guess theyre doing back on holiday (: the flight was around two hours , we reach manila at 4+ in the morning . GUYS , insider tips; dont try the dimsum at the airport . you might stare at it and wonders is that food sickk . haha , anyways we then had our flight 7+ am , reaching hongkong at 10+ am and now we're waiting for the ferry at 12+ . reaching the desire destination.

No more transit , thank God !

we sat the cebu pacific , this is the 3rd time I ever travelled. word is I went to kuala lumpur once when I was 2 years young , 2nd trip was to tianjing - beijing . And now , experiencing the 3rd trip to phils-hongkong-guangzhou ( china )

i didnt had much last night, and I felt dizzy at my first flight . I figured it might be because im hungry but after I had a meal , I had a worst encounter during the second flight . I felt my jaws and neck vibrating and I thought I was going to faint , puke or something . But then I googled , someone had mutual experience about cebu pacific airline so I guess im rated normal again. Pheew '

Ohh , another thing . Hongkong toilet in the airport lawa cam toilet 5star hotel sja . But haha , guess they dont use water to wash their back because there were only provided tissue.

Tried hongkong porridge, so different . Its light, smooth, many ingredients ( not very exp ) hey, phils jolibee chicken why saltier than brunei ? Hahaha .


Oh, they got that drinking thingy . I saw these at china , hongkong , phils . Wonders why brunei nada ?

I got some picture taken , I did something bad . I lied -.-' so bad .


I miss brunei
And my bro and sis.

Thank God for all the safe flight, pray for journey mercy pls. <3

Love, ruiyee

13th sept 2010

Heyys ,

Currently at 'fou shan' apparently I found out that No! am not going to guangzhou . we stop by 'hu men' after hongkong . Stay there for a night and we took a few hours ride to 'guangzhou ' and I went mad shopping , they got this like ' pasar malam ' in the night where they sale all cheap cloths ! Fashion clothes , you buy bnd 20-35 but here , you get bnd 2-5 0nly ! Im like 0.0 ' haha.


This is the main reason why I blogged.

---
I just finished watching a short true story .

; because of LOVE .

When I watched , it was a man (lin) with a kiddish like person which I thought was his son . It was obvious that person had some sort of accident , and this was the real story ; that person was a cheerful and interesting person and enjoy adventures . unfortunately that person happen to face and accident and was paralyzed , and the doctor told lin that , he/she may never wakes up. It would be a miracle if he/she wakes up.

But lin said ' I just knew he/she 's going to wake up , and he dares to just pay for the medical fee . And indeed it was a miracle , after one month , he/she awakes but was stil paralyze . And lin still continues to lend money , taking 4 jobs to repay the medical fee , it's approximate 8 million a year !! ( I dont know is it in yuan or not )

They ask lin what keep him going , why he would sacrifice that much ? He replied ' because we were once in love '

This was when I realize , they're COUPLE ! -.-'

That man is english , but that women is chinese . He took care of her , pay he fees , accompany her to her treatments , patiently teaching her how to get back on foot .

She's so blessed to met a man whom truly cares for her , and willing to do so much .

The people were touch by their story and decided to give them free treatment afterwards . Thank God, may we all pray that she get well soon.

---

I miss yanshiang ! (:



Love God,
ruiyee

10th sept 2010 ' quarel w my dad .

heyy readers ,

today 10th sept 2010 , the muslims friends and stranger are celebrating their new year . (:

selamat hari raya aidilfitri , maaf zahir dan batin .

I personally think its a wonderful tradition when they apologize to each other about any past fault that may offended them without noticing or might hurt them. (: if the whole world cause be so forgiving , I think the world can really be a better place to be .

I had a trobled night last night, Dad and I had a short arguement . I couldnt stand him , I demanded him loudly ' shut up ' I saidd. after that , I grab my headphone and lay down on the other side of the bed. and I wonders deeply , why couldnt I forgive him , why had I react in such a violent way ? I dislike what I did , I dont want to be like this anymore . because this is not how I should behave , God will not be pleased .

I thought of God and I was out of words , I wanted to ask for forgiveness but do I deserve to be forgiven ? These thoughts wonders in my mind for quite a while , I turned to look at my parents I really wanted to cry because they didnt understand the childhood pain I held within. Dad will never understand anything I say , for the whole 9 years for what he had put me thru he never listen to my pain crying out to let him know his hurting me. When I tried to gain his understanding , I feel like stabbing a knife to my heart because his like a rock that I couldnt break thru.

Dad, it was never too pain to be hurt. I was never afraid to fight the war/ overcoming probs with you but you .. I dont know how you treated me that most of my primary school days after school I cry myself to my bedroom with a swollen fist trying to get the pain out of me. And kept asking God why I didnt have a older brother to protect me and be my shield. Maybe you wouldnt treat me this way if I werent the eldest child, maybe I would feel more of your love like my brother did, if im not the eldest child.

My childhood stories were more than that, as thats only 1/6 of the story.

---

after awhile , I went up to the computer and start typing how I felt , its about 4-5 pages muchh . and I left it there for my dad to read it the next morning. After finish writing at about 1.30am I sat at the living room alone and started praying. I hope he would read every single word and not just saving it into his pendrive for ent purpose. I just hope that he got his answer by the reason why I seldom talk to him and etc, I just want to avoid all arguements and may time heal us . Now just isnt the right time . My dad and I could never sit down and have a heart to heart conveRsation because his mind was never here with me.he never listen to my heart , he always have that little voice talking in his mind .

---

Just this morning , he talked to me in a pleasant tone . Few possibilities , he read or God's help and love. (:

Life was never easy for anyone , everyone . But we must always stay strong, have faith and never give up. Its not the end , (:

I wasnt too frustrated or depressed actually . I didnt have a bad day just because what happen to me and dad last night. im Still going to face the world , with this SMILE ! :D

Im still that little girl whose loves to make the world smile , so peoples . Dont let anything stop you from being who you really are. ( I hope I can overcome every problem and dont let anything steals my smile )

I lost my smile to the world once, but God found my smile and brought it back to me . (: thank you love, esp the wonderful sis and bros.

Smile always,

Always ,
xx' r

8th sept 2010 ' my day today ...

Greetings ,

Guess whatt , no dont Guess . :D currently w my brother's fiancee at salon , she wanted to get her hair trim or i think the word is 'straightened ' anyho , yes my Godbrother not my biological young brother .

i read some interesting article , some funny , lols , terrifying as well . there was an article about people who couldnt handle their emotions well , they cut themselve to feel good as they observe the blood coming from inside out , some continue the same practice from childhood , teenage till adult stage . some even burn cigarette and burn themselve, they said its a 'distraction' like the pain outside them so they could forget the pain inside for a while - so sad .

i think all they really need is love ' and more care . like take a long vacation , do something meaningful or keep themselve busy . while professional suggested , letting out , talk about it etc . im not aware of any friends of mine w such symptons but hopefully no ' (:

A Guy commented that ' i like Girls who are comfortable w themselves not necessary w loads of make up so i wont be shock when i woke up the next morning on bed w her ' - if you know what he meant :D

pink panther - (: i dreamt he had the same ringtone as i have . but just in my dream , (:

sadness ' im really broke ! can i abandon my hp ? hope so , cause i just reload 2 nights ago as today i left 1.80 after calling my brother and also other than that , receiving calls and msg as if im online chatting.

I want to care for you '

waiting for sis's call just haha .. hope she remembers and pray that she'll have a fine evening . Amen !

called brother kyz just now , sigh its just heartbreaking to know his handling so much probs, we should all appreciate and be thankful towards one another . I hope bro kyz will overcome his prob and may he be surrounded by friends who really cares and love him . I wouldnt like to know that his hurting again inside , if I got a car maybe i'll get to hangout w him and the boys during noon tyme. see them dance dance dance ! (:
Cheer up kyz, you know that there's always us in this whole wide world that cares truly for you ,so would you smile for us and dont be sad for them (:

Coutdown , no jokes but 1+ hours to go ! Time passed real fast, cherish and grab as many smiles you can.

' wondering hows my brother and sisters doing, missed em all.

Have a blessed day guys , dont forget to say your prayer tonight before you go to sleep and simply just thank that your breathing normally w/o any injuries , well if you do have some injuries just thank that you didnt lose any part of your bodies , if you did then just thank that your still alive. - sarcasms.

(kiddings)

Lovemuch, rui.

8th sept 2010

heyys lovely bunnies ,

what a lovely dayy yes ? well i noticed the rain but i didnt look out for any rainbows , have you ?

my days which was going to be boring turn out great , thanks to my awesome pop ! ( My God for the answered prayers. )i get to spend quality time with my lovely sister , we went to the park , had dinner at kiulap and shopping ! I found the summer cap i always wanted and sis brought it for me , thanks ! :D

she's not feeling well , so guys please pray for her so that she'll get well really really soon. thanks to all beforehand . (:

just want you to know , im going to phils - hongkong - china this sunday (12th) back on tues (21st) hopefully i could get back in time for badminton , :D remind me please on fri that i need to give airasia a call .

the power of prayer ; the power of faith ; the power of love .

everyone should learn to love and care one another , really ! take down your pride and be more self less , say and express the love you held inside . try spending a day provide-ing everyone w tons of tons of love . start ' make a difference , as the world will be a better place to be when its full of tender love and care . its never too late if you start now .

ohh ohh , I got an idea , why dont you start by giving extra more smile in a day . but remember to smile from your heart otherwise it'll be kinda awkward , hehe .

i would love to see , know you do it . (:

Nyts earthlings , I love you all .

xx' r
( I love my God . )

boredd ; plans .

heyys ! :D

dead bored much here !
Plans , sure do needs to pray about it . I just realize that all the plans that i planned beforehand all turn out negative-ly so word of advice ; whatever you want to do later , tommorrow , or future matter just pray for God's blessing and guidance .

didnt managed to hangout w faustina , couldnt meet kyz at gadong too . (: imma pray for all of my plans next tyme if i could remember . :D

not that im sad about it, just need to take it w the right attitude and learn from my mistake . (: so my dearest beloved God, i will have loads to pray about . - kiddings .

talk about ,
i hope i could train myself to be a person with a calm mind , try to control myself . im so indecisive , i wanna be both . :D

I accidently drop brad and he fell unto the floor , so heartbreaking sad but thank God he didnt leave any scars . and hope that his eyes works well as usual .

im going to read some books later . then game game perhaps .

have a blessed day all, and ohh i missed my sister . hope she s doing fine , she didnt reply my text maybe she s just tired and fall asleep . (: rest well.

6th sept 2010 ' birthdays,

im so not planning to sleep ! i got a date later , with faustina my laolao ( oldold ) friend . we known each other since primary 5 , i sat beside her at the very first day when school starts and man ! was i afraidd. haha, its been MONTHS ! since we last met , reason to meet her later was all because shes going china soon for 2 months training . so yeaa ' guess she missed me or just want to see how fat i've grown. :D

i might be meeting w brother kyz as well . sure do missed that dude ! (:

birthdays !

my birthday is like two months away , i always got a thing for birthdays i mean to me its special . i even booked a flight to kuala lumpur on october just for her birthday but sad news arrive ( forget it ) I remember my very young birthday , was i eight or nine . i stayed up the whole night just by thinking what my mom would prepare for my birthday. i often wonders bout how would my 18th birthday turns out to be , guess im still the eight year old girl . (:

i just hoped and pray it'll be one fine day I could spend w my every smile. (:

I would hope that i'd be a child forever but we all need to grow up and ...

12th sept '
i still couldnt really believe im going oversea w my auntie whose trying to somehow ruiN my life --' , pray that i'd be fine. and despite my poor-ness , please someone gives my some resources !

i dont want you to leave . wants you to stay.

xx ' r

6th september 2010

heyys ! :D

i need improvements , esp my english vocab , grammar , and more ! im always like ' what does ... means ? ' and sis yanshiang once expressed how she wished to keep a dictionary in the car for me :D i just lols !

weee* went to church just now, uncle sent me home andd sis yanshiang fetch me for dinner ! love much w sis iting in car. we went to seri and window shopping at soon lee, me w my camcorder. caught bro lawrence, james, sister cassendra too. ( not positive w the spelling ) forgive me. x)

lesson ; one shall not abase the other, or cause them to be abashed.

opps , busy at the moment . me update soon kays.

meeting faustina tomorrow and kyz.

I own a new BESTFRIEND!
; aree summit
funny thing ; as we just known each other like 30minutes only! may God bless our friendship !

I hearts my BROTHER !
faisul kah namanya :P
; pesal.
( hearts that dude )

random much, wave to my lovely sister yanshiang. Flying love sent*

love much,
xx' r

4th sept 2010'chair-ish wood eel ape ! ( cherish what you have )

heyys! :D

im back at home now, with my new gadget ' brad ' . his quite small, light but could come in pretty useful. brad and i are going to do loads of recording, hopefully friends dont mind (: cause most people dont like to be on screen ( be pictured ) anyhow, brad and i would try to work on that. forgive us x)

brad is RED ! and so is both my handphone and PSP. ermm, i didnt name my phone and psp ' maybe because they were given as gift but i adopted brad w the most of my bank account. May he be my 2010s advance self given birthday gift ! x)

i found him at kiulapp, this guy recomended him to us and he was placed on my hand for the very first time like a first born child. ( over described ) i was really worried at first, i went to several hospital and mom brought me to the one at kiulapp. I didnt have the guts to went in alone, as doubt took over and i was really worried to handpick the wrong baby. but after i checked him out, his good to go. decided to bring this baby home. (:

'bradd' a.k.a. 'babyred' - yes i cherish everything that i owned and handle w care despite my uncareful nature and slighty rude character still i take great care for what i hold dear in my heart. :D babyred.

Okays ! because of it, my cash are running to its end. but managed to get a new dvd back to watchh. (:

'16 wishes'

a story about a teenage girl whom had 16 wishes written ever since she was eightt. so basically, through the hard times she encounter since 8 she wishes the changes when she reached age 16 and expected the best 16th birthday ever recorded in the 16th birthday history. A magical being gaved her 16 candles and her wishes will come true as she blow off any number candle correspond to her birthday wish list. (:

She was about to have the worst birthday ever as her morning was greet by her parents when thats what she dislike most. competing with her rival and cause her to not realize how much she left her best friend, jay behind the corner.

Till one wish came true and she hoped that she didnt wished for that because things turned out exactly how she wanted, but thats not what she really hoped for when families do as she hoped and realize she's not even ready for it, friends who stop side-ing her because things have change and she found out that she lost something precious that was already given yet not realized.

andd it caught me thinking. remember I used to say ' everything happens for a reason, nothing is a coincidence ' (: I guess so yeaa. and there's a time for everything.

we always always and never fails to concentrate more and in surrending effort to achieve the things we wanted most. and we always forgot to just look beside us and realize how blessed we are. so my dearest friend or whoever you may be, cherish everything that you have now and simply just be thankful to people who show kindness and love to you.

Thou people in movies always get a second chance to start thing over again, but we dont really have that much here.

have a blessed day to all ! (:

till next time,
xoxo' r

encouragement? :D

heyys ! :D

currently at Gadong, centerpoint lodge.
with my three brothers, waiting for our mother.

I told youu im getting a camcorder ryte. and so here i am, few minutes away to get myself one. actually by my own money which i saved up while working, yeaa' too little ! haha, cause nothing is left at my bank account ! cambanar.

think !
are encouragement always healthy ? It a source of building up ones confident, also a kind of appreciation, acknowledgement, a type of praise as well. yeaa'

haha. I dont like too much encouraging words, cause the impact is ... ( weird ) i believe, there a bad side of being encouraged. well, you can look at the bright side but im still in process of taking encouraging words in appropriate way. I admit, i dont know how to handle it. youuu, dont catch me right ? doubt it.

oh ermm. got to go, adopt my baby camcorder. Come to ...

Thanks for reading.
xx' r

3th sept 2010 ' to brother (kyzkizuya)

heyys again! :0

second post of the night.

who said i hate reading, i mean do your best to attract me. :D nahh' just jokingg.

Broken hearted.

As a friend, as a sister. I felt pretty much broken hearted, as i assume that he thought less of me due to his low respond towards my text but it proves me wrong when i heard his pain and asking about me in his blog.

I know i could do more than just this, and deep down i said ' bro, if i were there with you ' i really wanted to be there with him, i know his having so much trobles but why i didnt organize some time for this brother. His just a normal dude, but his going through more than he could take. But i would pray that God will give him strength to overcome all his pain. I wonders, is this the calling for me since i always wanted to help and show love to anyone who needed it.

whats hindering me from fullfilling the emptiness and healing the swollen injuries?

where am i? and where's my mind, why am i not doing much. My apologize to my most beloved brother, some day i'll teach you a love that heals all pain. A love that had made me who i am, the smile you always known of. and someday, bro you'll be like me even better than me.

Always when you needed someone to talk to, im all ears.

this is for you - brother kyz.

Pray that a wonderful love will enter your life and that you'll have everlasting joy.

xx' r

3th sept 2010 ' camcorder me!

heyys ! :D

im inspired,
noticed how i heart writing with small words. :D I LOVE I LOVE ! lols.

Its 2.57am now, and by the time i finished blogging- say twenty minutes? (: just came back from care group, thursday are the reason why i couldnt join other activities.
ohh, thanks to sister geraldine for picking and sending me. :)

i came across a blog just now while waiting for sister geraldine to pick me up and i was inspired. :D his blogg, so true about himself' honest like he show all his colours regardless of good and bad. To him, he accepted em all and he asked his friends ' have you ' (:

totally random but im a lucky kidd.

; cause i sleep in a single bed, where i got 3 blankets, 2 pillows, 3 animals ( toy pillow ) '2009 birthday gift - sheep from my bestcouple, cow from my good old pal, monkey from china. :D

im having/buying camcorder laters ! I always wanted a dslr camera, you know just whenever I come across pictures of smiles and memories just caught me taking the same purpose ' memories of smiles ' i've been aiming a 'nikon D5000 ' for quite sometime now. But out of the blue, I decided to land on a camcorder. It happens just this monday when mom came home with some cash to upgrade the psp we just got. Ohh ' I love harvest moon ! (: just in 4 days, im at year 2 and already married to the same girl I married 5 years ago! Yeaa' the old version when we used to play at playstation one. Anyway, (: we got two dvds ' camp rock - the final jam & step up 3 ' how coincidence that both movies touches some awesome uses of a camcorder. And it was just last saturday when I asked sis yanshiang if the options were to fall upon her which would she chooses. yeaa' she answeredd ' video cam '

Guess I really love the idea that I would be able to record happy moments we all had together. As I guarantee you, someday you'll definitely hope that we could record more of these moments, memories and events :d . A footage maybe? Hehehe' pray that i'll be satisfy for what will be bought afterward, may it be cheap, yet good function, picture quality.

My lovely people, get ready! Im going to make that laughter be heard again in few years time. Maybe months, hehehe.

One thing is for sure, submit your worries and problems upon His hand and He'll make all thing awesome. Just like I did, I may be a kid with no high education or qualification, but I have faith. In God's will, its been rated ' extremly awesome ' ! :d

Twenty minutes up ! Until next time,

xoxo' r

2nd sept 2010' surreder to l.o.v.e

heyys ! :D

i haven been insomnia for quite some time, until last month when some undescribeable excitement swallowed me up and ive been having sleepless night till now. If your awake at 3am wondering if everyone's a sleep, one thing for sure is that im still awake psp-ing and could only sleep after 4.30am.

okay ! heart talk , last month i was like all eyes over a dude. but now' i had my both hands in the air - surrending.
Geez' feel like keeping love in a distance. I'd love to just be on the beachside waiting for him to come, not going to get myself into muds.

hundreds apologies to both syasa and via. That i wasnt able to hangout tonight due to my personal weekly meeting w ...
Forgive me, guess we'll be meeting after 21st sept.

going off next week! To phils, hongkong, guangzhou. if i was given a second chance to decide, I would definitely pick the other option. Would rather stay here w my brothers and sis yanshiang' reason - its awesomer :D

Getting a vidcam soon. Cheers ! Gonna enjoy to the max max max max!

Wave to you, howve you been. I missed you and your smile.


tilll next time,
xoxo' r