a better life. :)

smile Loves. :)

Blessed the broken road. :)

heart breaks, picking up every broken pieces and keep going on.

either way, we have to keep going on.

Be brave and dare to take the pain. :)

I hope everything will pass as soon as possible.

and bless me with a new life. :) 

had too much yesterdays, too much sadness, stress and pains.

also many joy and laughter. :)

love what you have, appreciate what you have. :)

be casual, letting go.

Morning Loves. :)

Learning to let go,

Sometimes, Letting go is the best thing to do.

Holding on to something so tightly, your afraid of losing it.

It'll feel better as if you just let go, and let it go with the flow.

Be casual, :) <3

Do not do bad, and Smile

Things to do everyday. :)

Do not do bad. :)

Smile upon everything with a clean heart. :)

Not letting anything step inside for now. take your slot and just sit, there's you'll be serviced. :)

If you let something take most of you, that's not a good thing you know. really ain goood ! keep it balance girl. <3

messed up kid. :) jumble thoughts and feelings

Smile :) * click *

well, salary was out early. got it yesterdayy` :)

i'm going back to gym ! soon soon soon !

i haven been eating goood foood because i wanted to control my weight.
Well, i did controlled it but i couldn't manage to lose what i gained last 2 weeks. -______-"
which lead me no choice to get back to gym.
Is this even a excuse so that i can go back ? Well, you see ..... ( long story )


Went to watch Prince of Persia. :)
huhu` so GOOOD ! the ending is great, haha ! didnt even expected that coming.
but yeaa, :) watched with the lovely family. :)


i still wanna watch that mv, with someone :) <3
(why) 
i dunno ;) maybe i haven really moved on, cause i still hang on to it.
-badddd huh-
but i banned myself. ;P i'll get over it soon ! 


Taking a deeep breath *


Why do we let go the things we don't want to lose? and why have i? 
Sometimes, we thought it's the right thing to do ( maybe it really is )
I thought it is, and thats how Pop might have wanted after all those people talking about what should and shouldn't do. Was caught in dilemma at that moment, sometimes we didn't knew what to do and ended up choosing the wrong ones. so have i. :)


It gets weird if i wanted to ....
* the flashback of everything before *


i think i should off this topic. :) banned !*


but i still missed  :P


Next'


i'm not sure about this feeling, Pops !
The past have proven me that i've always been wrong about this point.
Will i be right this time ? Well, i certainly hope not. let me be the kid whose been oversensitive about this subject. it always matters alot to me, and i had to keep it down like i don't give a shit.
This is not how things are suppose to be babe, let us show how we really feel. They're no need to hide and be afraid, Life is too short ! Stop talking bad things which will turned into fake rumors and there you got someone's smile broke.


Life is too short to hide and keep the true feelings within.And so many drama in life For ?
life is too short to talk about unpleasant things about others, get your own life and do something meaningful.
life is too short, to cry and frown and think of all the negatives things. Get out and SMILE (LOL)


i'm saying that probably because i dont want to be what i am not. LOLs.
( related to the past )
i wanna be who i am, but what ? all those shits were poured right to my face ! 


had to leave but Pops pulled it back.
is this a new challenge for me to face and experience? :)
i hope it'll be nice, cause you know that i can afford to break that smile again.


what keep me going, is the future.
cause i painted lovely pictures and there's you.
No matter how far i am, no matter how busy and quiet i am. 
Your always inside my heart, Something i could not let go even i wanted to.
because your came to my life once, and saying i'll forget you is a lie. am just trying to show you that " i've moved on " and by that, doesn't mean i've forgotten you. :)




Today` " i sound like a messed up kid :)
more than that perhaps, because all those jumble thoughts, mixed up feelings.

Ego-ness ( will be continuedd )

Ego-ness, what are we trying to show ?

Ego babe, what are we trying to show. Deep down you do care but why you pull that face and looked away?

hate my job! , Your the First

OMG !

i so effing dislike this Job, -______-"

so manyy paper works to doo`

and then they kept staring at me like i owe them money.

why did i even wanted to accept this job in the first place. 

If it weren't because you approached me and tell me all those benefits i could have. 

i would have been at home sleeping and TV saja.

Well, i need some cash for the things i wanna buy.

So tahan lahh` huhu`. but maybe i'm gonna stop earliest on Nov :) reallyyy ? 

pasall ? LOLs, stay longer lah` * main mata * extra you don't want ? -see first la 

I dont usually felt this way, well not after i met him. LOLS. ( really? )

anywayy Yes, but today lain rasa ku. isit because of what happened last night kah ?

i was out of control last night. gilerrr` i kept well for like 5 yrs? and suddenly POP-ed x.x

I guess Pops ain happy about it, He'll do just anything to stop me from being a bad girl. ;D

when i was out of control, it's like nothing can really stop me. Until i thought of something, someone then it kinda felt better. well, atleast you still helps. :)

Your the First,

Let me think real hard why your the first to have so many exceptions. 

Cause if it's another person, i wouldn't had even gone so far.  * thinking *

got it, well the first time when i first saw you. macam biasa saja, it started when we shared problems together i guess. 

And that's when i found out what you hold within && pluss i also told you something that i hardlyy really tell anyone. so basically i've been holding to that for days. and your really easy to talk to. :)

so hanging with you, i feel comfortable and it feeels so right being with you.

I could even go on for the rest of my life just be with you ( atu banar )

but you know lah, ada halangan. sad * 

hahah! but yeaa` :) if i were asked that would i. and yes i would ( why ) maybe cause i dont have others in mind. - 

and you fit just right too. :)

 just something you knoww, needs to be controlled but you know how to so. no worries right.

happens because i haven got the exact view of my future ?

maybee, who knows i met someone i really like  ? :D

nahh` am not really thinking about who i might met in the future, 

cause there's no exact type of guy am looking for. but your the kind i want. :)

Someone kept telling me, " i miss you " but how i wish it was you saying that ^^

to be continued. :P

am boreddd ! going home soon, 

actually i planned on going to the mall today, so firstly i can meet my awesome sis, then chit chat with zafirah.

well, UNFORTUNATELY, ( as the story continues ) sini na dapat, sana na jadi.

must be the bad thing i did last night, karma buuuu yah. :D

need quiet time to tune things right again.

and last night, i dream of him. :) how many times sudah ? 5 :)

fill up thoughts; past, ain the same, hidden identity

Fill up thoughts.

recently found out something, which am not sure of too.

Imagine life without all the cities and cars. Just simple you and me, at a small village enjoying the wonders of life and nature.A dream will always be a dream, 

the wonderful-ness of everything will always fade once you woke up. 

We had make things so hard for the outside, but realize that it all began from within.

am a very sensitive person, sorry to mention.

but not in all matter, mostly it's related to the past. A lot of unsolved feelings remained, unsolved misunderstandings.

anyway, quite upset at the moment. i just hope when we ever meet. Show me that Smile so that i know everything is alright. and we can always start over again. :) 

Will we ever be the same,

Will we ever be the same ? After all what we've been through, is there any " start over " again thing?

They say time, well i think time is just a way when both of us tries to go on with our lifes, filling ourselves with other activities and other new memories to draw a distance of time between each other. 

But does that mean we've change how we ever felt for each other ? Actually no, :)

1st we spend most of our time together, the laughter and smiles we shared. 

Therefore, memories we hold are mutual. :) but when we were brought apart, we used time and fill ourself with other things to avoid thinking and feel about the past. 

Sometimes, it's not that easy when the pain aches in our heart reminding about what causes it.

But still it's just the matter of time, when our life are filled with more memories that aren't related to each other. and sooner, we learned to live without each other.

will we ever be the same ? is there any " start over "

there's always this feeling inside reminding about the old times, and when we crossed each other. do you think as i do ? cause i'm thinking ' are you alright ? ready for a new start ? do you still mind about the past '

But thank God, you smiled to me like you used to.

it's like telling me that

 ' everything's alright, let's forget the history we made before and start a new one '

you cannot HIDE who you really are inside. :)

yes ! and i think it's so true. 

Sometimes, people did things because they thought it's the Right and better to. But is that really who you are ?

No` sometimes, you just did it because you think you had to. Someday, you will mis reveal your true identity

 ( superman ) HAHA !

someone left me :(

they left me because well, they got what they wanted. and things that they show me before we all fake, it's just because they wanted something and they need comfort so here they come to find comfort. When they got what they wanted, they freaking forgot about you because they were all eyes on the GOLD lols. and your not the Gold, your just the silver behind the gold! buuu youu.

ahh! i dislike those people, you weren't real. but i know youu! 

you didnt realize who you really are, your just lost your ways because your all messed up about it. and so you grab on anything you found when your drowning in the ocean. and so. :) i don't really dislike you, just that don't step in front of my door already. :)

People can change when they meet gratitude and appreciation.

altho you don't know what are they at first, but people finds it when they gone thru hardtimes and meet light.

just like you, you meet light but you haven meet those two things. :) 

so don't expect that without those two you come down knocking my door. cause you've turn me down in my face sudah. But whenever your facing real hardtimes, i could never not lend you a hand. but your no longer someone i wanted to know more. :)

zaf, dream ahead,MIRI soon, haircut,on diet

Today's crap talk. :)

Let me see what am i gonna say 

Well, tomorrow am planning to hangout at mall.

to meet zaf <3 haven seen her for Months ! really ? YES !

ever since i last left the gym, we haven seen each other. and that's early March !

now sudah almost June. huhu` i miss i miss.

Hopefully she's doing fine. She's a nice friend, we shared a lot in common together. She's just easy to talk to i guess because i talked a lot about things i don't usually confess to others. And recalling the time when we got mutual feelings, mutual incidents happening, and at the SAME time, we got the ans to our doubts.
 

miss her much 

Friday, i might be going to mall. :D haha`

on a date perhaps. HAHA` jk.

Dreams ahead.

yikes, i've been worrying about what's ahead. Altho i know what i wanted to do, but i sound so impossible at times that i can't even believe myself. If that thing i've been planning to do isn't going well, then imma be stuck here for some years -___-"

But NO ! i must be confident, you guys gonna see my fly alright :P

God Bless God Bless, make it happen !! <3

if it really happens. Gosh`God i loveeee you so muchhh! cause you made my life as awesome as it could ever be ! :)

HairCut Done!

yea, i got my haircut. Yesterdayy` i said i wanted a hair cut.

and pemajal am i, and i really got my hair cut hours later. kinda freakk out! :P

cause it's NEVER a dream of mine to have my front short. i remember 6 years ago when the barber sucked so much ! She didn't cut my hair as my mom describe and my front was so short ! i even CRIED.  

So on Diet !

i'm on serious Diet ! so don't show me any foood ! :P

but i will take a break if i passed by KFC <3 Jols <3 kekeke` LOls.

Going MIRi next month, Last holiday i went there and had food like crazy.

eatingg so so so much, the cook is so so gooood <3 if i had stayed any longer, i bet you can't recognize me :P

my Grandma was like 

and says " dont eat too much ! later you become fatty ! eat lil already can " :P


anywayy, can i lose to 45 kg? :P thats my AIM. ggrrr ! Bring it on. :D

can't wait for JUNE <3


and i'm so excited till Next Year ! am freeee <3
kekeke` gonna save money and belayarrrr` with new cam <3


Okayy` i have no idea about the bad times ahead. and i forgot to prepare for it. 
well, don't ruined all my smile. That's all <3

Dream,haircut,beloved sisters, young love

Dream of you today

I dream about him last night, he was all with the smiley face as if everything's alright. but how about in reality?

I dream of him continuously back then. I hope we can start all over again and erase the mistake i made and so he appeared in my dream. Everything seems to be as i hoped in dream, between us. But in reality, we call that "dream"

It was only after more than half a YEAR, my sense knocked me real hard right in the head and felt in the heart.

I finally realize and somehow found the answer i thought i never would. and i couldn't even bring myself to my knee as i would if i knew earlier, I've made too many mistake to even regret about this. 

and so, most regrettable mistake was made in the past and lost you. I couldn't dive back to the past and change what i did. All i could ever do is wait for the future, where we ever meet again. 

A new haircut

Looking for a new haircut, wonders would it suit me or not. But either way i had to have a haircut as soon as possible, probably tomorrow night or the day after. I wanted to keep my hair as long as possible but today i just can't stand it. Wanted to cut my front short !

Beloved Sisters

When you met someone for the first time, sometime you just have no idea how you guys can get together so well in the future. And thank God, i found mine <3 I couldn't even possibly recognize her for the first time, because she's always behind and her other sister were the one talking to me. Months later, we met again and thats when all the " Awesome experience " starts :) and along the way, we got ourself another Awesome sis. :)

They were more than i could ever have, 

and Yes it's true when they say when there's hardtimes, those who are left behind to fight the pain with you are true friends. They were there when i'm in my worst condition, and they were the one get my feet back on ground. Altho i lost the precious gold at that moment, but they were the shinning crystal i found beside me. :)

Young love 

 When i was young, i met guys who made my heartbeat and i thought that is "love" . Because the feeling is so deep, like i could never felt so strong ever again. i fall so deep and so foolishly, i would cry and get to my knees praying upon the heavens for that special moment i could have with him.

As deep as i fall, as long as i get over it. 

One day, when my naked eye showed me that i would never be the person beside him holding his hand and smile.

i decided to bury that feeling deeep down inside so i would never find him. Time heals ? Yes, :)

but only if your willing to. :) it took me 10 months to not really think about him.

But even today, if we ever passed by. I still can totally Freak Out in front of him. & run awayy :P

the way i feel. :)

ove love love by Baby-G.

We've gone thru a lot, too much. 

When we first met, i never thought we would get to be so close.

We share so much love, care and laughter together.

You and me, we hold the same history back together. 

Just different feelings, how i felt for you & how you felt for me.

( for my hermano )

(down is for i dunno - just saying )

Do your heartbeat, beats louder when i cross the room ?

Am i just another girl coming into your life, and one day walking away ?

life is a journey, and you heart is my destination :) <= ( i like this one ! aha)

being with you, is how i painted in my future.

Call me old-fashion but i believe in happy endings.

you can never see me frowning babe, 

because i want teach you how to really smile even tho your in your deepest pain <3

( emotionaL ME ! ) 

This is for that pretty boy. ( reason why i wrote this- unknown ) Just for fun i guess, am bored !

It feels right being with you, i see us in a picture together (:

I never thought you would be my first, and had no idea why i did.

then i realize because i there's a hole inside where i can fill in.

I thought that's what you really need at first, but you proved me wrong.

your confuse about how to get what you really need.

You waited for it to come, and you see as it goes.

You never knew but if you just say the magic word,

you'll still have her beside you right now.

you will always be the boy i care. :)

By babyG